Class Clowns & Village Idiot on Trial

(Based on a true Story)

Okay, the hell with world events, this is more important.

Once again Jason make the girls cry Kottke pens well-meaning thoughts about rules and guidelines that will make MetaFilter a better place… Sparking a firebed of controversy and division in a trial more crucial than The Scopes Trial and Roe -vs- Wade put together. Well, not quite as big as the Lindbergh Baby or the The O.J. Trial…but you get my drift here. It’s pretty darn big!

Lots of hidden potshots at us all, as Defendant/Paralegal for the defense/Village Idiot Joe Utsler found the line “You’re probably not as smart or funny or interesting or insightful as you think you are.” quite offensive. So did The Class Clowns….

Well frig you pal!!! My I.Q. is off the charts (well, somewhat higher than “86”, I’ll tell you that!), and within every joke, every scathing bit of satire I unleash, there contains a little nugget of truth that will change your very life!!!! Those following me over the past few years, are on the verge of unlocking the very secrets of the universe.

Hopefully they will share this secret with me, as I still struggle with the concept of hot dogs coming 10 in a pack and the buns only 8. My kids are really sick of me force-feeding 40 hotdogs down their throats at lunch time….

Defense attorney Jeffrey Zeldman said: “So not every post is a gem. Not every article in the newspaper catches my interest, either. So what?” Exactly.

Let’s talk newspapers here. There are days, where I care what’s going on in the world, and there are days where I skip straight to the comic strips, and chuck the newspaper in the garbage when I’m done. That’s me. That’s a lot of people I know. That also happens to be against the law as we’re supposed to recycle our newspapers, but that’s not the point. As witness Mark Morgan testified UNDER OATH: “Some days, I come here just to watch the pissing matches.

Now, don’t get me wrong here… I love Jason Kottke. He knows what the people want. People craved a spectacular website, so he brought us Osil8. Insomiacs worldwide cried out deperately for a cure, and he brought us his weblog… the web needs him. Like a hole in the hea {Defense requests that remark be stricken off the record.}

  • I could be immature and state that Prosecutor Eric Costello is, indeed “King Killjoy” and “Mr. Party Pooper“… but that would be really childish, and so unlike me. <snicker, chortle>
  • I could also take this time to rub in Mr. Kottke’s face that Halcyon whupped his butt at the Webbys… but I wouldn’t stoop so low.

I have also been advised by counsel not to say it, as my recent outburst in court proved almost damaging.

Experts predict an easy victory for Zeldman, as he is expected to pull a “Perry Mason-like” surprise, showing evidence that that Jason Kottke has also broken the rules at MetaFilter himself. With his credibility damaged, the judge will have no choice but to rule in favor of The Class Clowns and Village Idiot.

“If it ain’t broke… don’t fix it” – Yogi Berra

Eric Brooks

Musician, Programmer, Graphic Designer, Evil Clown - A thorn in the Internet's side since 1997 with no intention of stopping any time soon.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.



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