The JSN Award (A/K/A Award pages suck!)

A must in all fine websites is the adornment of awards.

For what is the measure of a website if not for the acknowledgement of your peers, and the accolades of your contemporaries? By receiving an award, you proudly show your superior HTML prowess, your mastery of Javascript/CSS/Shockwave/DHTML, and prove your worth as a web designer.

The more awards on your website, the better your website is. The better your website, the higher form of human being you become…..

Yeah right. If I read that crap long enough…maybe I’ll start to believe it!

Once upon a time, I would have loved an award for all my hard work on this and many other websites, and homepages I created…then I grew up and realized that many of these so-called awards were merely links to someone else’s site. Usually, that’s their only means to drive traffic there.

While reading source codes on any given awards page, you also realize that many homepages and websites shamelessly “right click” an award off someone elses site and put the GIF right into their server. Some poor souls longing for recognition even make their own awards.

If you keep your website in one place long enough, some loon will offer you their award. Ironically, my offers came right after I decided I didn’t want them. So before you offer me the source code to your 7KB GIF eyesore…just know that I will not accept them. Unless your “award” comes with a cash prize, a trip, or something of value, then you’re pushing a link as far as I’m concerned. You can submit your link here.

Good, quality work comes with its own awards built-in. The check from a business when you build their site; the excitement on my daughter’s faces when they go to their site and see their guestbook entries, and the counter stats; a kid coming to me for advice about his homepage, and taking the time out to write a thank you note. (One even sends me cool fonts that he comes across while surfing the web from time to time.) And most important of all…referrals of new clients from previous clients.

These are things my peers and contemporaries can never give me.

Do you really deserve an award for your website???

GET SHOCKWAVE!!!!
JSN Winner
Your Site

Of course you do! A lot of hard work went into your website. Constant updating, formatting, something-always-going-wrong/not-showing up. Hey man, I’ve been there.

Now your old cyberfriend is asking you to step up to the plate, and join the new generation of the Web-Elite and “just say no” to those silly awards….

Still debating, huh? Well let’s weigh the pros and cons, shall we?

An Awards page on my site…
Pros Cons

-Ability to find those obscure "members.aol.com" webpages that you wouldn’t ordinarily find.

-You spare people’s feelings as they treat their award like it’s a tremendous honor.

-You save yourself 10 minutes of getting RSACi approval because some housewife in Dubuque, Iowa declared your site to be "safe surfing for children".
(Goes over real well with your browser’s security settings.

-Your website is better than mine because you have awards and I don’t.

-Your site becomes better than Microsoft, Lycos, Netscape and many corporate websites combined… because they don’t have awards pages either.

-Your viewers wind up somewhere in Geocities, where they are spammed to death by their corporate sponsors…
THEY
WILL BLAME YOU FOR THIS!!!!

-You actually care what people think.

-The cretin that gave you this award was also its first-ever recipient.

-Dangerous levels of testosterone abound as next you compete with other websites and make your viewers vote for your site.

-Awards and popularity quickly replace speed, quality & content.

Real awards come with prizes.

-You know you’re good! You need that award/link like you need another Chia Pet for Christmas…

Ready to “Just Say NO”, yet?

Well, congratulations kid! You are the proud recipient of the 1999 JSN Award. I knew you had it in ya!

Press “Download now”. I also enclosed a little trick that prevents those envious little web pirates from taking your award.

Remember to change the words in blue (in “Read Me.doc”) to the page where you want the award to link to and the name of your site.

Download Now

Alright…maybe
I accepted a few awards…..

 These are nice
awards, by some cool people:

 * Award of ExcellenceBy Home & Hearth
 * Design Excellence Award – By The Family Corner
…..But no more, OK?

Eric Brooks

Musician, Programmer, Graphic Designer, Evil Clown - A thorn in the Internet's side since 1997 with no intention of stopping any time soon.

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