A broken and bitter old man addressed the crowd, gathered around the campfire, with a tale that has long been forgotten. His wooden staff barely holding him up.
It began toward the end of the twentieth century… where the world wide web was a vast frontier to be settled. There were titans and web gods roaming cyberspace. One man had been there the longest. He had many disciples and was revered as the King of all the web gods.
He saw that “all was good”.
A group of titans had developed weblogs and a way for the mortals to communicate as they did. They required no skill or effort… merely the push of a button. Their names were Ev, Meg, Jason, Matt, Jack, and Derek. They were worshipped and created a temple for the mortals to worship the titans as gods. They became known as “The AList“. Ruling with an iron fist… challenged by none.
On Mt. Zeldman, the web gods grew jealous and bitter.
The ancient one spoke of one young web god, a vain and arrogant godling with strikingly handsome iceblue eyes. He repeatedly questioned the king’s favoritism of the titans above all. The godling’s resentment and anger made him too dangerous and unpredictable to remain with the more complacent web gods. The young web god spoke of change and revolution… and many listened. Including the fearful king.
The king was left with no choice but to banish the young web god, and all his followers, from the heavens. Stripped of their godhood, they were forced to live as mortals.
The titans known as “The AList” were slowly being crushed by the throng of worshippers who craved the recognition that belonged solely to the AList. For there was no love in their hearts, and felt this great power was theirs and theirs alone. The gift of “blogging” was enough for these peasants as far as they were concerned. Their works were bland and shallow… many felt their weblogs were better.
The bitter and banished web gods bestowed the last of their immortality to the mortals… making some demigods, and sealing their own fate. For only an army of demigods can topple the dynasty of the titans.
Their temple became the source of their demise… the AListers were slowly being tortured and slaughtered by those that once worshipped them. They ran from the temple and were hunted by the demigods.
- Meg, once queen of weblogs, was quoted as saying about the mortals “Let them blog cake” (whatever the hell that was supposed to mean!). The angry crowd had beheaded her, and the demigoddess known as Deb replaced her and was coronated as the new queen.
- Matt was last seen screaming inside the walls of his crumbling temple. Jon became the new programming demigod.
- Derek had retreated to Mt. Zeldman, unknown to all, a web god himself… he peacefully offers his disciple, the demigod Ezrael his place.
- No one knows what horrible fate fell upon AListers Ev and Jack… no one ever cared enough to find out.
- The most charasmatic of the titans, Jason, was called out by the demigod Graham… exposing the emperors new clothes with the saying “Like Kottke…only interesting“. And was easly defeated and replaced.
The successors of the AList learned from the mistakes of the past. The web had grown a thousandfold… impossible to maintain, even for demigods.
More power was divided upon the mortals turned demigods… equally and without favoritism… and so it shall be forever more. For those that now abuse their power (not naming names here *cough*joe*cough*) will only suffer the same destructive fate as the longforgotten AList.
It has been rumored in Mt. Zeldman, that the king of all gods was pleased that day. With no need for a king anymore, he had left for the stars…off to create more great works elsewhere.
The ancient and weary old man finished his tale. One of hope and equality for all of webkind. His horrible burden had been lifted… and now free to sleep for eternity.
The flickering flames had revealed a glimmer of hope in his wrinkled, tired, yet strikingly handsome iceblue eyes.
For he smiled and saw that “All is now good again”.