What’s Wrong with Gay Marriage? (Explain it to Me Like I’m a Six Year Old)



SoApBoXSeems to be the hot topic this month. Unless you’re living under a rock these days, you’re seeing a lot of elected officials literally breaking the laws of their town and marrying gay couples.

It’s called “civil disobedience”, America. You see it a lot just before a major revolution takes place, and everything you now know is considered “wrong” by the next generation. Our parents went through it with Segregation.

The time for gay marriages has come.
Get used to it.

I’m still waiting for a rational, logical reason why it shouldn’t be.

Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Hey, that’s ok. That doesn’t make you a homophobe in my eyes… we all have our comfort zones.

However, it does strike me as a little irrational though.

  • How does this threaten you?
  • Or, more to the point, how is what two consenting adults decide to do any of your business?
  • Do you have any gay friends?
  • Do you feel that there is some reason that they shouldn’t have the same rights to be happy as you do?
  • Do you want the government interfering on which ways are acceptable for porking your wife, or raising your family?
  • Then why do you want it done to someone else?

Think about it.

Allow we a second to debunk a few lame justifications I’ve heard so far:

“We’re trying to protect marriage”
From what, Domestic Violence? Infidelity? Marital Rape? Broken Homes? Incest? Divorce? Us heteros are doing a bang-up job there without your help. Thanks anyway.

How is this threatening anyone’s marriage? Unless there’s some insidious plot by the Fairy Cabal of HOMODOM© that you know about, that is going to issue Lavender mind-controlling Gay-Rayz suddenly turning my wife into a raging bi-sexual and threatening to destroy our Sacred Institution® by introducing another woman into our bed and…

Hmmm… where was I?
Uhm yeah, like I said… DON’T WORRY ABOUT US. :0)

“Gay people want special rights”
BZZZZT! Wrong. They want EQUAL rights. They want the same rights to be as happy as the rest of us. No more. No less. (You get extra credit for the nice play on words, though.)

The handicapped pains in the asses of our society? THEY want SPECIAL rights.
See the distinction?

Gays aren’t asking for special ramps, the best parking spaces, or to make a busload of people endure a 20 minute procedure of a driver loading his gimpy ass in, when tossing him a rope or asking them to hold onto the bumper real tight will do.

“Gays cannot procreate, therefore they contribute nothing to our civilization’s survival”

  1. Gays *can* procreate, bucko. They may feel icky and need to shower later, but their parts work just fine. Trust me. I can also think of at least two real-life instances of people who after raising a family, threw out their abusive spouses and went totally gay and lesbian.
  2. By not “contributing to our civilization’s survival”, I assume you don’t count literature, movies, theater, music, philosophy, mathematics, politics… stuff like that?

And my personal favorite by the same people that blamed 9/11 on Pagans and Queers (but not Capitalists, bad foreign policy and War Profiteers)…. *DRUM ROLL*

“Sodom and Gomorrah”
Oh here we go… God rained hellfire on two cities because they were “flamers” to begin with. Did I get that right?

OK, break out your Bible and turn to Genesis 18-19 (and for you non-religious types, we have the “Sinner’s Edition“)

  • Where does it say ANYWHERE in those two chapters that Homosexuality was the cause of God annihilating Sodom and Gomorrah?
  • Before you give me a roundabout answer about the mob looking to gang rape the two angels that your pastor gave you… well, God made up His mind long before that, didn’t He?
  • Ask your pastor why he keeps leaving out the part about what the “righteous” Lot does with his daughters in the same chapter… he didn’t know he knocked both his daughters up?
    Uh huh. Sure.
  • Can we agree this is NOT the best chapter to preach “morality” from?

Besides Reverend Mykeru taking the Bible and giving some ignorant newspaper editor a taste of her own fundaMENTAList medicine… or Kare’s evisceration of the Moonie-funded and factually-groundless world of the Concerned Women for America (CWA)

…there’s an excellent and insightful discussion on ReligiousTolerance.Org. Who knows? You may learn something.

Most religious liberals are are faced with the inescapable and rather surprising conclusion that the condemned activities in Sodom probably had nothing to do with sodomy. As one Christian editor wrote: 'To suggest that Sodom and Gomorra is about homosexual sex is an analysis of about as much worth as suggesting that the story of Jonah and the whale is a treatise on fishing.'

There is ironic aspect to this passage that is rarely discussed: God seems to condemn the citizens for insensitive treatment and harassment of others. But, this is the very passage that many conservative and some mainline Christian faith groups use to attack gays and lesbians.

Some people like ketchup on their burgers, some like mayonnaise, some like bbq sauce. There seems to be no “wrong answer” there. Some differences and preferences seem “ok” in our society.

Me? I like Arby’s “Horsey Sauce” on mine.
Try and take that pleasure away from me, and I’ll kill you.

Oh, I’m sorry. This was about YOU giving me a rational answer about your opposition to Gay Marriage.

I’ll be patiently waiting for your reply in my comments.



Eric Brooks

Web & Graphic Designer, Blogger, Musician, Evil Clown. I also code websites and promote people for a living. Still kind of a jerk, though. Approach with food.

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:
TwitterFacebookLinkedInPinterestGoogle PlusYouTube

About Eric Brooks

Web & Graphic Designer, Blogger, Musician, Evil Clown. I also code websites and promote people for a living. Still kind of a jerk, though. Approach with food.
This entry was posted in Religion. Bookmark the permalink.
  • Redeagle

    obviously you’ll get no opposition from me!!
    I’m not looking to get married, not even in a relationship, but dammit, I should have the right to do so if I choose!
    I pay my taxes, am a law abiding citizen, and I’ve done my part for the whole ‘pro-creation’ bit.
    I want someone to give me one good reason why the hell anyone has any business saying who I can or cannot spend the rest of my life with if I so choose, or what goes on in my bedroom (living room, kitchen, wherever) between myself and another consenting adult!!
    and don’t get me started on the whole religious angle they’re trying to use, because last I checked, separation of church and state was still law, and freedom of religion means ALL religions…not only the ones who worship the way the ‘bible’ teaches…tyvm

    *~T~ climbs off soapbox now*
    thank you for this guy 😉

  • -=e=-

    Well you know… it’s like abortion. You notice those that can’t bear children seem to have the biggest mouths about it?

    (Like men and crinkly old ladies whose hymens have not only grown back, but come with cobwebs now?)

    If it doesn’t concern or affect you… what’s the problem?

  • Solonor

    Hey! It ain’t March, yet. What are you doing out of your cage?

  • Kare

    If people spent as much time worrying about their own lives as they do worrying about other people’s, the world would be a much nicer place. And I hope you aren’t holding your breath waiting for a “rational answer” because there’s nothing rational about discriminating against an entire group of people. Although, I’m curious to see of anyone comes up with anything new…

  • Shay

    I was thinking this over the last few days, really trying to get the other angle as well. Someone actually posted a comment on my site that ‘marriage’ is a term used religiously to describe a union between man and woman. Fine I say, take the word, but don’t take all the legal force behind it! The problem is that marriage seem to have much more legal affect than it should have. If there is a separation of religion and state, how come such a union between two citizens is so mixed up in it? Maybe it’s time they should be completely separated, the ‘legal’ union on one side, and than marriage, as the couple wants. This should be the case in s clear separation of state and religion.

    I think you’re right about the revolution. It will become a big issue and will eventually change – I hope sooner than later, otherwise we are going to face some sort of a civil war, on some level.

  • TheBostonDyke

    Right on! I totally agree…and like I said in my blog, I don’t get what republicans are so crazed about…the religious thing? they really need to get over it, grow up, and realize that the world hasn’t blown up because a few queers got married (ok, a lot, but anyway…)

    aren’t most republicans money people? What are they getting so hot over more money coming in to the state coffers?

    I really get tired of stupid people, you know? Let me know if you get a rational answer, e, because I haven’t heard any yet…

  • Dyane

    Bravo! You said exactly what I’ve been formulating in my head for days, but couldn’t seem to find the words for.

  • Kathy

    *stands up and applauds* Bravo!

    I swear you can read my mind sometimes, -e-. 🙂

  • Misty

    Hey, you said the same thing I did a few days ago, but with much less cursing. Fabulous job!

    Looking at the pictures from San Francisco, I really, really wish I could be there. It looks like there is so much happiness and love in the area, I’d love to take my husband and just hand out flowers to people and take wedding pictures and just run around watching all this history being made.

    Except of course, I’m a republican and incapable of having feelings. Sometimes I forget that part! 🙂

  • Kate S.

    Yay! You’re back! And in fine feather, I see. Excellent discourse. Wish you were standard reading for the Hill.

  • toxiclabrat

    =e=,
    I agree with you and can’t understand what the whole debate is exactly about. I couldn’t have children yet I am married in a heterosexual one at that. Because I didn’t procreate, I guess my marriage isn’t valid by some standards..
    BTW,
    I’m an old bitty, and I just checked for cobwebs and didn’t find any…so there…
    appologize this instant you youngin’ or I will bitchslap you with my purse!! hee, hee…
    Love, Ya,
    Donna

  • Deborah

    Ahhh, spouted forth as only Eric can do. Good job!

    *applauds*

  • Lambchop

    Wait a minute – that was just WAY too calm of a rant! And you only picked on handicapped people – what’s wrong with you – are you slipping??? *g*

    But you know I agree with you 100% on this issue. (A thought which sometimes causes me to lose much sleep, I should add!)

    Solly’s right – premature evactuation of the cage! But it was worth it 🙂

  • Dr. D.

    Welcome back…seems the ‘rest’ has done you good dude! I hear you loud and clear.

  • -=e=-

    And you only picked on handicapped people – what’s wrong with you – are you slipping??? *g*

    Well, I have an axe to grind with people in wheelchairs this week… but that’s another story.

    One thing though… I see this as more of a SOCIAL issue than a political one. I don’t see Democrats or Republicans rushing to embrace this issue with open arms. But it’s good to see so many wonderful people throwing in their opinions on this.

  • Buffy

    GREAT post, =e=, and great comments, too!! I’ve been pondering the fact that we can be married in church, or we can be married before a justice of the peace, and both of those marriages have equal standing in law. If so, the non-religious wedding should have created the precident that the gays need to force the issue, but I don’t think I’ve seen anything about that in the news. A marriage is a marriage whether it takes place in a church or not, so what makes Bush think he can use religion as an argument, especially in a nation founded on the principal of separation of church and state??

  • Ren

    Brilliant. Just brilliant. And I’ve been a fan of Religious Tol. for a while, they’ve been a great resource for me. As an outsider looking in, I’d say Bush needs the Bible pulled from his arse (as well as the long-handled broomstick) and bashed about the head with both for his rediculousness.

  • Mad Bull

    Hi -=e=-
    I found this very interesting, especially the bit about Sodom and Gomorroh… I’d never heard that properly debunked before, and because I’d not been listening cleanly, had drawn the conclusion popularly espoused that homosexuality was what was being punished there…. you’re right though, God had made up his mind before, and it doesn’t explicitly say that he destroyed the place because of the homosexual tendencies of some of the citizenry, so….
    Bravo on this post.

  • Desiree

    Wow… I love the way you’ve said what so many of us mean to say. Fantastic.

  • Desiree

    I mean, actually… you have gone beyond what I could say and are so thorough in debunking the anti-gay myths.

  • Brooke

    The way I see it…. People have the right to do whatever they deem necessary. If that’s what you want then go for it! I won’t have to answer for you to your maker. Yes I did say something religious reason.
    You are who you are for a reason and nobody can stop that…

  • Truth

    I have lots of gay friends.
    Close friends, not just passing acquaintences.
    And the vast majority of them all are in favor of open/swinging/polygamy.
    And each one Ive queried on their views on what marriage would mean to them has stated they want to change marriage to be more ‘progressive’ openminded’ forgiving and open to multi partners,
    Sorry but I am opposed to this.
    And I see the majority of gays clamoring to get married are hungry for the legal rights it confers, to make a bold statement to mainstream normal people and to acheive the status being wed connotes.
    I dont see any who are deeply spiritually committed and looking for marriage to seal a profound bond.
    If gays were offered the choice to privately have ONLY the legal rights marriage confers or to ONLY have the right to marry but none of the legal bounty, I can bet which theyd all pick.
    Gay marriage rights is about peevish jealousy and not about acheiving the hoped for solemnity of wedlock.

  • devil cat 1200

    i appreciate the thougts and comments from each of you. However no one has proven their case to me. I am writing a reserch paper for school and it is on argumentation. i chose this subject because their are so many point of views. I personally think that being gay is bogus but thats just personally. the gay community hasnt proven to me why they should get marreid and the opposing community hasnt realy showed me why they shouldnt. My question is what rights are being neglected ? what is the problem with a civil union. you yourself said that marrige is just a word. convince me that all my years of church going and bible reading are wrong convice me why the bible says that sodum and gommora were destroyed and by the way the bible hasnt been wrong about everthing else that is going on now it also says that people arent gay they are unics. just because you dont like a woman if your a man and you dont like a man if your a woman dosnt mean your gay. You might not be ment to be married or with some one. there were unics all in the bible. there is nothing wrong with that. I think “personlly” that people arent realy gay I think that they figure because they arenet interested in the opposite sex they must be gay.

  • nofags

    im sorry if i offend any one but for one its really gross, for two it becomes my business when its all over the news, and three, if we forbid inscest because its wrong and the children will come out retarded then why shouldnt we outlaw gay marriages because its wrong and they cannot have kids at all. also i think that if you want to be gay then do it but dont try to get married. and dont give me the seperation of generations speech because my dad is 33 and im 16 and we both agree 100% on this, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.

  • nofags

    im sorry if i offend any one but for one its really gross, for two it becomes my business when its all over the news, and three, if we forbid inscest because its wrong and the children will come out retarded then why shouldnt we outlaw gay marriages because its wrong and they cannot have kids at all. also i think that if you want to be gay then do it but dont try to get married. and dont give me the seperation of generations speech because my dad is 33 and im 16 and we both agree 100% on this, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.

  • nofags

    im sorry if i offend any one but for one its really gross, for two it becomes my business when its all over the news, and three, if we forbid inscest because its wrong and the children will come out retarded then why shouldnt we outlaw gay marriages because its wrong and they cannot have kids at all. also i think that if you want to be gay then do it but dont try to get married. and dont give me the seperation of generations speech because my dad is 33 and im 16 and we both agree 100% on this, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.

  • nofags

    im sorry if i offend any one but for one its really gross, for two it becomes my business when its all over the news, and three, if we forbid inscest because its wrong and the children will come out retarded then why shouldnt we outlaw gay marriages because its wrong and they cannot have kids at all. also i think that if you want to be gay then do it but dont try to get married. and dont give me the seperation of generations speech because my dad is 33 and im 16 and we both agree 100% on this, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.

  • missed_one

    Good list of things wrong with marriage, as is. Here’s one more: I had 90 days to get married, or my fiancee’s visa would expire. See, there is a loophole for straight people to be able to cross national borders to marry, but it’s not wide enough. I like the idea of gay marriage, because it shows up regular old stupid heterosexual marriage for the total hoax it is. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for people spending their entire lives together, if they so choose. But the institution is a lame one.

  • -=e=-

    Well, sorry it bothers you so much, nofags (Though I heard ya the first two times…).

    Quite frankly, I’m a straight guy myself, and the gay life certainly ain’t for me… but then again it doesn’t bother me and there’s a lot of things I’m into (Hard Rock/Heavy Metal, for example) and I’d be pissed to all hell if someone tried to take that from me because they don’t like it. Live and let live, bro!

    Devil Cat, missed_one: From what I see many of these arguments can be all for abolishing gay AND heterosexual marriage, if you ask me… sure there are lots of gay guys that want to “play the field”… don’t hetero guys and girls want to do the same until they’re ready to settle down?

  • Witchy

    Holy shit, nofags, did I read that right? Your DAD is 33 and you’re 16? You dad fathered when he was 17?! ’nuff said I think.
    This is about rights and tolerance pure and simple sweetchecks. Sorry you don’t grasp that. Maybe the law should disallow all “gross” things, like 16 years being allowed to drive.

  • megan

    i dont see what,s so wrong with gay marriage

  • elias gonzalez

    gay marriage is wrong im wrokinf on a report about gay marriages and why it is wrong i just thing its sick… i mean dont get me wrong but its wrong it goes against the word of God really people.. have we really fallen that far from faith that we have to have same sex marriages… plz mail me with ur op’ at blackrosezforyou@hotmail.com this is sick poeple stop this now and this is coming from a 14 year old!

  • Pam

    Elias,

    I was moved to write to you because you sound like you really want to hear some people’s opinions… When I was fourteen years old, there were a lot of “adult” things that I didn’t really understand. I also didn’t know any gay people. I lived in a small town with a pretty small community, and people who were different just kept away or kept quiet. So I had no idea just how huge the world was, and like you, I might have said “it’s sick” about gay marriage.

    Now I’m an adult. I have learned that there are a LOT more people of all different kinds out there, making different choices than I make, different lives, and different families. But at the bottom of it, that’s a good thing. The United States of America is about being allowed to be different. We must not harm one another. We must accept that there are different ways of being. We value our individual rights and freedoms.

    Just like straight people, there are some gay people who are nice, some who are mean, some smart, some dumb. They are just people, no better and no worse than anyone else. There are some women who love another woman and want to live together forever. And some men or who have a loved one who is also male. So, when that happens, they want their country to give them the same freedoms and rights as everyone else has.

    Maybe that’s weird to you, but how is it bad for you if someone else is free to make a choice like that? It doesn’t stop you from being straight or getting married or anything. Which is something I hope you are not planning to do until you at least finish high school.

    In our country, people have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It’s not fair that some people cannot marry the “love of their life” just because they are both men or both women.

    In our country, people are allowed to believe in whatever religion they want. Or to have no religion at all. If your religion tells you that homosexuality is wrong, then you are free to practice your religion as you see fit. But remember that as you enjoy the freedom to practice not being homosexual, others have the same rights to follow their own religions or none at all. You might not know this, but there are OTHER RELIGIONS where people are ALLOWED to be GAY! And still go to heaven! You might believe there is only one God, but other religions believe there are many many gods… And your church might have one set of rules, while other churches teach different beliefs.

    We, the citizens of the United States of America, allow ALL of these religions to exist side by side in PEACE… because FREEDOM is more important than anything else. We each make our own moral choices, and we make our laws fair and just, and not based on anyone’s particular religion.

    It’s all about TOLERANCE and FREEDOM.

    Good luck on your report.

  • -=e=-

    Well said, Pam.

    I was a lot like Elias when I was his age. Very devout in my Christian studies, and I didn’t quite know how to answer this one, as I didn’t want to discourage him.

    But let’s just say, at 39, I see the world a whole lot differently now.

  • John

    People are afraid of gay marriage, and gays, because it threatens their sense of who they are, their identity. We humans are very attached to our self image, and fear, rightfully, that we may be capable of what others do. So, when anyone acts in a way that challenges our cherished self image, well, they had better pack up and get the first stagecoach out of Dodge.
    John