How am I?
Are you SURE you want to know?

Well the nightmares are getting worse. Much worse. I’m afraid to sleep. I take little cat naps, and I’m tired all the time. Recent events have left me questioning what’s real and who is just feeding me bullshit to get what they can out of me. I have just enough energy to put on a “happy face” for an hour or two before I have to excuse myself, and break down and cry again. Most of the time I don’t want to get off the couch to do anything.

I’ve lost that spark too. That part of inspiration that helps me to tap into my imagination and make magic. It’s gone. Like someone blew out the pilot light in me. Nothing adds up or makes sense to me anymore.

I find me back in the little world I’ve come to know as “ANARCHTICA” (Note the spelling, I’m not talking about the South Pole). It’s the place in my mind where love, hope, and forgiveness are non-existent. A world ruled by chaos and madness. A cold, desolate place where the sun’s rays are blocked by the dark clouds, and everything is in dismal shades of grey.

It’s where my darkest fears and nightmares come from.
Continue reading “ANARCHTICA: Colder than hell”