Thinking about Jann – Does anybody know how Jann is doing? She has been very ill, and she’s been on my mind a lot today. I stopped by her site to see a very sad poem about her mortality. The poem was nowhere near as upsetting as the date it was posted. I figured I’d pick up some clues at Jeff’s today, but he hasn’t updated in a while either.//** UPDATE – Jann has a new post up. Call off the search parties. **//
I mean… someone should make a network, call it “BlogBuddies™” or something. There’s enough people out there with my home/work numbers that you can easily find out about me… you know, in case all the people dancing in the streets isn’t enough of a clue.
Speaking of updates… SPEEDBUMP LIVES! Can you believe he actually graced us with a post yesterday? It’s true. Also… I looked good and hard at kiwis today, and you know what… he’s right!Of course the last time I made a “Let’s have a party, and raise the flag, so-and-so finally posted!!!” comment, I got this response FROM the lovely and demure Diz.
(Oh yeah, like THAT’S the first time THAT ever happened!)
Speaking of yesterday, we all missed Paradise Ali’s birthday. I offer no excuses other than “WE SUCK!”
Speaking of suck… tell me I’m the only person in the world that knew Richard Chamberlain was gay all along? I mean I have excelling pegging™ ability. I’m at about 98% accuracy… but come on, he was SO OBVIOUS!First time I saw the Thornbirds I thought “Great casting choice for a catholic priest, he’s gay…. wait, what’s he doing with Rachel Ward…? EEEEW!” I think it’s sad that he’s been afraid to outright admit it all these years. I mean, big deal… did it affect Rudolf Valentino or Rock Hudson’s career? (I mean being in movies with Doris Day should have been your first clue, Sherlock.) Face it, CHICKS DIG GAY LEADING MEN!!!! They’re romantic, they’re sensitive, and they’re better looking. (Handle it, guys.)
Speaking of good looks, John visits DMV hell. Even has plenty of time to rewrite “I Am The Walrus” for your reading pleasure and everything.I would say, the DMV is probably the best way for someone to describe what it’s like to do time in jail for someone to get a full picture:
“Hey, what was it like spending the night in Riker’s Island?”
“Well, remember when you you had to renew your driver’s license…?”
It’s a little known fact that my eyes change color with my moods. Blue is the default, green means I’m pissed and I want to choke you, very pale blue when I’m sick.
Anyway, I need a non-driver’s ID at work… so after standing in line on Worth Street in Manhattan for, oh, 75 1/2 hours… I get to the window only to have to re-write everything…
“Nuh-uh honey… Your eye color is GRAY.”
What does THAT tell you about my depressing surroundings????
I also shrink when I’m pissed, so my NYS ID has me at 5′ 6″ and gray eyes
My PA drivers license has me at 5′ 8″ and blue eyes.
I’m the FBI’s worst nightmare, man!
Speaking of colors… Black People love us! (via Rah), it’s absolutely hilarious… and about as politically correct as I am.
Speaking of blatantly politically-incorrect racists…. Can somebody EXPLAIN to me the concept of how someone proves that they’re not a racist by HAVING “black friends”? A recent skirmish between two bloggers over one making remarks at the other’s oriental wife was diffused by saying “I’m not racist, I have black friends!”. A Jewish site answering the U.N.’s resolution that “Zionism = Racism” because Palestinians aren’t allowed in Israel. So the author brings up how they’re letting Ethiopian Jews in Israel…(?)Again, with the Black people. What is up with that, and why drag Black people INTO the argument? Is it an implication that they’re the lowest common denominator or something? If you can be friends with a Black person, that means you love every ethnic GROUP on earth??? What does slamming Orientals or Palestinians have to do with it? WTF?
Black America to stupid White Devils: Keep us out of your goddamn ‘I’m not a racist, and I can prove it’ arguments.
(I was asked by a Five-Percenter to relay this btw…)
Real friends don’t shove their friends INTO a blood-thirsty mob.
Somebody had to say it. I mean, you’re out of names. Admit it… what can you people *possibly* call me next? How can I be a racist when I think White people are all treacherous, lying, resource-sucking leeches anyway? :0)
Speaking of frontal lobotomies… “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.” – Somehow, Patrick has managed to forward my performance evaluation over to Red Eagle.
Speaking of The Mighty T™ – Go say hi to Buffy, and answer her question: “Should you or your spouse have the better body?” – The latest to the Red Eagle empire entourage (T is gathering an army to overthrow us all… I just know it!)
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