Caring for your pet Chupacabra

I’m bored with cats and dogs and black bears as pets.

So guess what? I bought a Chupacabra on Ebay tonight!!!!

There’s a guy who breeds them in Puerto Rico and ships them. Ever since I saw one on the Venture Brothers, I wanted one… arent they cute?

Now you may ask, where do they originally come from since they’ve only terrorized South America since 1995?Chupacabra

Where all unexplained phenomenon come from, silly…. UFO’s!!!!

This little tyke in the picture isn’t fully grown. He’s only about a foot and a half. They grow to about 3 feet. They need a constant blood, so I figure I’ll let him have the dog & cats to play with (not Puddy though), and when the weather gets warm, he can chase and suck out the innards of deer in the back yard.

And if the kids don’t like him, I’ll just flush him down the toilet like I did the alligator I got them for Christmas.

Meanwhile he needs a name. Any suggestions?

12 thoughts on “Caring for your pet Chupacabra

  1. No offense…but that thing ain’t all that cute…looks like someting out of a horror movie…my god!!!

    Make sure u get it’s rabies shots…better safe than sorry…

    I prefer vampire bats…much more cuter…*LOL*

    But hey, congrats on ya new lil pal!!! Am sure yours will be cute…maybe half breed of some good lookin species…a freak of nature??? *JOKE* Anyways, let me shut up and stop mockin ya new pet…

    Congrats gain!


  2. Who’s scoffing? I got mine for protection! Like pitbulls, you can show them love and when these suckers start migrating north I can train mine to fight them…

    Ok.. yes. I’m scoffing. But only the crackpots that think these things were dropped off by a UFO. My advice to them is to lay off of Lilo & Stitch for about a week or so.

    Now that thing you linked to, the “Elmendorf Beast”? Oh, I think they are very real, but I don’t think there’s any supernatural explaination to them. They’re obviously canine in nature. I think they’re wrong about the theory that it’s a coyote with mange.

    Now bear in mind I’m no expert, but those things look like some hybrid of a Hyena (who also make a bloodcurdling sound like those attributed to a Chupacabra).

    I know dogs and wolves can cross breed and make for a very deadly mix. Perhaps hyenas can mix with canines (possibly coyote?) as well.

  3. hehehe. Could be. I don’t know what it is. They’re supposedly doing DNA testing to try and find out what they are. All I know is that they’re ugly and freaky looking.

    It’s just so funny because the stories of the Chupacabra were making their way around my largely hispanic neighborhood when I was growing up – 20 years ago. LOL! I didn’t realize it was a cultural thing until I moved to SoCal and nobody knew what a Chupacabra was. Lately they seem to be everywhere, though.

  4. Hey, speakin of protection…I should buy me a rabies infested vampire bat *LOL*…

    Think bout it…someone who break in my house or somoene who wish to do harm on me…I could set my rabies infested vampire bat on them and give them rabies and bite the villian to death!!!

    Eric, I now see where you are comin from now…I hear ya on the whole protection thing…hoook me up with one of those scary lookin critters you plannin on gettin…fuck that…I will adopt an sex demon…they could fuck my assailaint or the one who wish to harm me…they could fuck them to death…*Falls off chair laughing*

    Sorry!!! Couldn’t resist it…

    Forgive me…bit in a bad mood…just got written up at work…BOGUS SHIT!!! Anyways, I will save that for my own work…screw my current job! am lookin for a new job ASAP!!! I got a bad feelin they lookin to get rid of me and wanna use any lil mistake I make gainst me to get my ass fired…

    Anyways, take care and good look with ya new pet!!!

  5. Name him Quetzalcoatl. That would be perfect. Or if you can’t pronounce that, name him Dubya.

    Also, rumor has it that these creatures can squirt a foul-smelling liquid from their nostrils. It comes from a gland in their butt, and the duct that carries it upwards is known as the “Chick Tract”…

  6. I’m sorry you were written up… THAT SUCKS!

    What’s so good about a rabid bat? They only live a few days with rabies. I actually saw one like that, a brown bat. He was flying around in broad daylight… poor lil’ guy.

    Misty: I’d be interested in what they find about these new creatures. Question is, are they the actual animals responsible? The one that was shot dead over the summer was eating berries…. don’t sound like a bloodsucking terror to me. Sure they’re ugly… but are they deadly?

  7. It looks rather like Bill O’Reilly, but I wouldn’t wish that name on anyone other than the original article.

    Don’t want to give the critter a complex or anything…

  8. Ah, is kewl! I am lookin for a new job as we speak now…registerin at a temp agency this Wedesday…is temp but is something and I can leave that lousy job for a much better job with some ACTUAL BENEFITS & BETTER PAY!!!! Better now than eva! Besides I don’t think much of the girls at my current job like me much…”If looks could kill…I be a goner…”

    Yah, tis true bout rabies infested bats…they never last long…total bummer…maybe ya lil creature is better protection…Or maybe I could train the vampire bat to attack anyone who is uninvited (including family *evil grin*)…no lemme stop…am startin to saund derrange (sp?) & really evil here aren’t I? *LOL*

    To Ole Comedy Writer:
    Dude what kind of creature is that? I think I want one to scare my mom off and all my enemies…esp those bitches at my workplace and that one heffer who written me up…just throw one of those foul smellin creatures in the backseat of their cars and when they get in to leave work…that thing just does it’s worst to them *wicked grin*…damn…that is a great revenge idea!!!! Although I don’t think I would go that low…atleast I don’t think I will *secret smile*

  9. To Eric:
    About my last post…sorry bout my HEAVY usage of BAD WORDS…just bit ticked off cuz I got written up and decided to do lil venting in my last comment…forgive me?? I know i promise to be good on ya blog in my entries and be tame with usage of vocabolary…*smiles angelically*

    I honestly ain’t mean to get that nasty…I mean maybe not on ya blog…maybe on my own…sorry bout that dude…*leaves quietly*

  10. Len: That name IS cruel. 🙂 I want my pet chupacabra to be loved.

    It’s just so funny because the stories of the Chupacabra were making their way around my largely hispanic neighborhood when I was growing up – 20 years ago.
    Me too. I’ve heard the name “Chupacabra” years ago, but I never understood what it meant. I kinda figured it was a demon summoned in a Santeria ritual or something.

    Comedywriter: Oh man, if my pet starts stinking up the place, he’ll be ordered to stay outside, and I doubt these poor lil’ critters can handle the cold weather. (Must get diapers!)

    Pandora: When the FUCK have I ever cared about heavy usage of bad words? 🙂 You had a really bad day… surely we can all relate. Where is it? Is it stuck in my spam queue again? Don’t sweat it, babe. Let it out if you have more.

  11. It got posted…but if I was to let it out…umm…trust me…you would have to delete my comment loaded with all the X rated swears…you think u can summon demons to fuck up ya enemies? Cuz umm…I got a few at work…*LOL* Nah, I be kewl…just need to kewl off…give me a few days…

    On second thought….maybe I adopt one of those creatures u talkin bout and let them loose at my job on a day I have off *evil smile*…let their stuck up skank asses freak out…that be worst than shoplifters *evil laugh*

    Nah, I only got beef with one manager and the others am cool with…this one bitch wanted my ass fired…atleast I think she did…long story…don’t ask how I know she wanted my ass fired…I just know…

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