No More Twitterangs (I hope!)

In my quest for a perfect Cyber-Utopia, which of course, involves me being worshipped as a CyberGod, and not having to lift a finger, with all my brilliance splattered all over the web by automation… well we had a screwup of epic proportions.

[Goofy News] Calif. investigating high school strippers

PARAMOUNT, Calif. (AP) — The assistant principal at a California high school has been placed on leave after a campus talent show where male students pranced seductively in underwear and Speedos….

[Local News] Inmate sues state over 75-cent cable TV charge

An inmate at a state prison in Fayette County is suing corrections officials saying a 75-cent monthly administrative fee for his cable TV is unfair and excessive.Twenty-eight-year… Joel Maldonado, of Lancaster, is serving a 12- to 26-year robbery sentence at the State Correctional Institution-Fay…

[Goofy News] Kangaroo tries to drown dog, attacks owner

MELBOURNE, Australia (AP) — A kangaroo startled by a man walking his dog attacked the pair, pinning the pet underwater and slashing the owner in the abdomen with its hind legs. The Australian, Chris Rickard, was in stable condition Monday after the attack, which ended when the 49-year-old elbowed the kangaroo in the throat….

[Goofy News] Police: Breathalyzer-costumed man accused of DUI

OXFORD, Ohio (AP) — An Ohio man dressed as a Breathalyzer test for Halloween found himself blowing into one after police stopped him for allegedly driving the wrong way without headlights on a one-way street. Oxford police said they stopped 20-year-old James P. Miller on Halloween night and found beer in his front seat and in the trunk….

[Goofy News] Pa. woman, daughter hold signs admitting theft

BEDFORD, Pa. (AP) — In exchange for no jail time, a woman and her adult daughter have agreed to stand outside a Pennsylvania courthouse holding signs saying they stole a gift card from a 9-year-old girl on her birthday….

Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions.

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