Don’t make me like you.

Diz is back in town… and she’s come bearing gifts. She figures I need cheering up, and CyberTown is in desperate need of a few laughs…

Courtesy of the Wild and Whacky Diz
THANKS DIZ!!!! *MWAH!*

For those who don’t hang on to every word I say, and commit it to memory (most likely for a future legal action, you dirty bums!), she is of course, referring to this post.


Hey, remember when Patti did that “Flat Stanley” thing? She sent it to all her friends on the web, and they posted pictures. (Of course, I never got it. But I’m not bitter. Really.)

Anyway, I stumbled across this on the web today, so I commented on the site about it.

1) I could have sworn Patti’s Flat Stanley went around years ago. (Brooding makes the time seem to drag, doesn’t it?)
2) I honestly thought this was an original idea (ha!) of Patti’s, and her meme is still going.

Trey writes me back and politely lets me know that Flat Stanley’s been around since 1964.

Which now leaves me with the icky feeling of being wrong about something, living a lie, and knowing a monument to my stupidity will lay sitting in Trey’s comments for all to point and laugh at for years to come.

Since I have resolved that no one will ever trust me, and send ME a Flat Stanley, I will deal with this humiliation in the only way I know how. As soon as I get my hands on paper, crayons and a digital camera, I will constuct my OWN Flat Stanley. Yeah!

He will drink booze. He will torment cats.
The project will be called Flat Stanley Gone Wild.

Being a “problem adult” takes a lot of effort, you know.

14 replies on “Don’t make me like you.”

  1. I saw some women with a Flat Stanley at the Alamo. (Jon was my witness!) And I went up to them – just to let them know that they were working with a celebrity piece of paper and said “Hey! That’s Flat Stanley isn’t it?”

    I don’t know about the cat tormenting.
    I mean, paper is pretty thin, you know?
    I foresee disaster…

    Meanwhile I imagine the Vortex as being a cross between a black hole, a massive whirlpool, and a really quality vaccuum cleaner with all the nifty attachments.

  2. Hey, don’t feel too bad, no one reads my site anyway but my Mom and my mom-in-law, and even then only when I tell them to read it. LOL.

    and I thought it was the brilliant idea of my niece’s school teacher… till you wrote and I checked more into it..

    ya know, as they say… there’s nothing new under that damn sun…

  3. Brooks, I’m flattered (no pun intended) that you would think *I* could come up with something as ingenious as Flat Stanley. Don’t be bitter about not receiving Stanley. It wasn’t anything personal, it was geographical. The idea was to get him to the furthest most points and you’re not that far away from me. (That’s frightening when you think about it.) If it will make you feel better, when you get your Flat Stanley completed, I’ll be more than happy to show him a good time here…. You think he’ll enjoy going to Wal-Mart?

  4. Doesn’t anybody READ HERE???

    This site has gone “Politically Correct” now. Please refer to him as “Dimensionally-Challenged Stanley”, from now on….

    And if he’s gonna be “Politically Correct”, then he’s gonna be ANATOMICALLY-CORRECT too!

    So when the guards at Wal-Mart bust you Patti, don’t call me for bail money for taking “Anatomically-Correct-Dimensionally-Challenged Stanley” out in Public.

    Of course I raided my fridge Maria. :0)

    (Plus spent half the night following the hilarious flamewar between Rev Mykeru and World Wide Rant yesterday… LOL!!!)

  5. Sunday, SUNday, SUNDAAAAYYY!!!!!!
    Witness the Battle between:
    The Vortex of Mischief vs. The Sink Hole of Smart-Asses!!!
    (I got dibs on the Sink Hole, cuz it’s got the words “sin”, “hole”, and “ass” in the title. I’ll fit right in.)

  6. No, it looks like this (…uhm, Trey, are you a guy or a girl?) person’s niece did it as a school project in San Francisco.

    So Patti ripped you off… again.

  7. Hmmm… let’s see.
    She has a webpage, she has kids, and she post pictures…

    So do you. Coincidence?
    Shall I continue…?

    Oh you know we all love you Patti & busting your chops.
    (And you’re not hosting me, so there’s no need for me to kiss your butt like Deb & Batgrl & 2/3rds of the web, so I must be telling the truth.)

  8. A) Nobody kisses my butt – and if they are, they should stop it, because that’s not how I do business and they don’t know where my ass has been.

    B) If that’s how you’re defining ripping off, then she’s ripping me off, ’cause I did it all first.

    3) Don’t bust my chops. You won’t like the reaction you won’t get. Or on second thought, since I’m having a really bitchy week, maybe this should be the week you should bust my chops ’cause it could be pretty exciting for the audience. And my hit counts are pretty low this week, so, yeah, ok, g’head. Bust my chops – but wait until I get my ppv banner advertising up there.

    aa) Is there a fee for this “chop busting”? I’m notoriously cheap. 😉

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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions.