By PETER GOESINYA
STONECREST, PA (AP) – Well kids, enjoy that basket you just got and try and make that candy last for a good, long time.
Two hunters, identified only as “Jerry and Bob”, called the Guinness Book of World Records yesterday to let them know that they just “bagged the biggest f**king rabbit we’ve ever seen”.
The Guinness people realized immediately what happened and notified the police.
The victim was identified as Peter J. Cottontail (672 C.E. – 2004 C.E.), a large supernatural rabbit/human hybrid known and loved by children the world over as “The Easter Bunny”. Cottontail was pronounced dead on the scene FROM shotgun wounds to his chest and abdomen.
Police have held the two hunters on charges of man(-rabbit hybrid)slaughter, hunting without a license, hunting out of season, criminal tresspassing, and “typical redneck stupidity”.
Police report that these two men were arrested back in January, 2000, when they locked their friend up in a Y2K Shelter for nearly two weeks and led him to believe the world was destroyed.
Charges were never filed when it was discovered by a court-appointed psychiatrist that the men had an I.Q. of 85…