For a guy whose slogan is “Only the coroner will know for sure”, you can bet your bippy it must be bad when I beg for a doctor’s appointment.
About two weeks ago I damn near collapsed. I come home & I can’t see straight and all of the caffeine pills in the world aren’t helping. Hence, my moreso-than-usual preoccupation with death, lately.
Well, I finally got the results FROM the tests at the hospital.
Are you sitting down?
I’m fine. Just extreme fatigue.
No leukemia, no diabetes (which I was betting it was), no lung cancer. My cholesterol is five points above normal… but for an American male, that’s pretty damn impressive. My white blood count is a little too high, but they think it’s probably some infection that my run-down body is HAVING a hard time fighting.
And hey, I lost two pounds since my visit two weeks ago… I’m down to a svelte, wafer-thin 498 lbs… alright!
… and I’m not pregnant.
Got a prescription for Zyban in my pocket… I figure while I have clear lungs and kickass medical insurance, I may as well stop smoking. I feel like a slave to it, and I like to be in control, not have nicotine control me. No promises though… but I always said I’d know when it’s time to stop, and the time is now.
… well, after I’m done with this pack. :0)
So could it be the… oh, I don’t know… THE GRUELING HOURS AND WORKLOAD AT MY JOB??? That I haven’t slept since mid-May? Keeping an entire department afloat for a quarter of a year is finally catching up with me? Not to mention the lingering uncertainty that I can once again be screwed at any second there, as the corporate suits may decide that instead of hiring help, maybe I can be more productive with yet another boss cracking a whip over me???
I’ve had rage and negativity driving me though the past few months. But man, can that shit wear you out after a while!
But it’s not all bad. My boss is great, but she’s got her hands full running a department with a lot of changes to the system and new programs that she’s struggling with… so her plate is pretty full too. I’m on my own and need to take charge of my situation. She’s very supportive and has given me carte blanche do do whatever I want with the sites and projects. And the new publisher is cool as hell too. Could be a brand new day, as long as corporate doesn’t decide I need to be screwed once again for old time’s sake.
Lots of changes… new strategies & ideas in the way we do things at work, and I’ll be crowned King of Stroudsburg soon enough.
Just gotta stay focused. And uhm, staying alive will probably help too.
How are things with you?