Kiss her fishnets!

“…I don’t know you, you don’t know me, so why don’t you just scurry away and go play hide and go fuck yourself?”

Hee hee! Why can’t I come up with clever quips like that?

Angel has a new survey up… I like her surveys because they make me think. None of that “What’s your favorite color” bullshit. Plus she takes the time out to plug a few good sites.

I thought I was on vacation… what happened?
Oh yeah. MICHELE THREATENED ME!
I got witnesses. Spread the word. Everyone knows of my traumatic childhood experiences with flaming dog poo! Somebody crush her for me, ok?

(Finally. After all these years, I’m a “victim” of something! Just like the rest of you whiny-ass emotional cripples! WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!)

15 thoughts on “Kiss her fishnets!

  1. The Dog Poo Story
    For those who don’t know the story, I’ll re-cap.

    As a pretty damn innovative kid, I stuck a cherry bomb in the middle of the dog poop so, in theory, when old man Donovich stomped it out, it would ignite… and blow half his foot off.

    Unfortunately the fuse must have lit prematurely, because as I was hauling ass, the bag went off, {BOOM!} and I got dog poop all OVER ME!!!

    And all the other kids laughed at me. THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS!!!! Why are kids so cruel? Plus, it was the 70’s (which was traumatic enough.) Had this been nowadays, I could have sued the old coot because it happened on his property!!

    Dog poop + kids laughed + somebody told my mom so I got in trouble.
    I’M A VICTIM HERE!!!! SOMEBODY FEEL SORRY FOR ME!!!!
    (I have since showered. It’s ok. You can hug me.)

  2. Know why? Because, dammit. In MY family you BETTER know how to bust on people and good, too, because when you can’t everyone will hate you.

    It’s TRUE I swear to Christ (OK, I don’t believe in Christ, but anyway…) if say, you date me, right? Then you come for dinner. Eventually, SOMEONE will bust upon you – it’s a sign of affection. If you retort with something as creative and empowering as “Aw, shaddup!” You’re fucked. Fucked, you hear me? Fucked.

    For example: all you who know *me* know my husband bailed early in 2002. No note, no reason, just POOF!

    So he comes back, we all work everything out and we’re at the first “dinner at the fam’s house after the BS” ok? My Mom says: I need some more horseradish, the jar I have is expired.

    My Dad says: H can go, he loves to travel!

    So what you MUST understand, is that even with the bailing on record, they still liked/respected him. Until that very moment, when H just rolled his eyes and went to the store.

    See, had he a clever comeback handy, all would have been well, but he didn’t, so he’s screwed.

    This is TRUE, I swear. Just ask my brother’s EX-wife. 😉

  3. OK so: regarding Trackback: Do you OPEN the Trackback window, then LINK to the TRACKACK link? Or, do you JUST link to the actual “entry link” link?

    I am asking because: I have linked to PLENTY of entries which had “trackback” (asscrackback?) enabled, and MY link to that entry NEVER showed up in their “Trackback” pop-up…? The hell?

    WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME -E-? WHAT? Oh God save us all! Or, God save the Queen! Well, God save somebody, dammit!

    Phew.

  4. he loves to travel!
    OMG… that is TOO funny! And H struck me as so straight-laced & serious when I spoke to him on the phone… how does he deal with it???

    Sounds like my family… I may be mellow, shy, and quiet, but my family is CRIMINALLY INSANE. It took Carole years to get used to my cousin Bryan, who has the most abraisive sense of humor. My other cousin Valourie… I remember two female friends came by, asked for water, when they were done, she looks at them and says “I have no idea what diseases you two sluts are carrying”, and threw their glasses in the garbage in front of them! (Is it any wonder why my friends called my house “1313 Mockingbird Lane”???).

    Sounds like both our families should get together for a New Years rank-out session, Angel. :0)

    Track back: you paste the Trackback ID url in the box in movable type (pop up screenshot). Save , and it will ping that particular entry and Weblogs. Com.

  5. …and: How do you make that cute little *Look! There’s a cute little halo over Angel’s A!* thingy over my A?

    IOW: I know it is in the Character Map – but what’s the Alternate Character Code for it?

    In exchange, I offer the one for Infinity:
    <!ENTITY infin CDATA “&#8734;” .. infinity, U+221E ISOtech ..>

    Symbol is a font that everyone with a PC has, even the Mac version has the same upper characters.

    However, just in case, here’s the ISO/CDATA shiznit:
    <!ENTITY infin CDATA “∞” .. infinity, U+221E ISOtech ..>
    Or, in simpler terms:

    (View Source, dipshit.)

    Oh, and as an aside: You need to make the font size for the Infinity symbol like, eleventy-million times BIGGER just so it matches with your current site text sizes. 🙁 Not really worth it, is it?

    Anyway, can I have the Halo-ey A now?

  6. Sure, Angel

    You can either hold down “Alt” then type “0197”, or you can cheat like I do and copy it from your Charmap program in “Start”/”Programs”/”Accessories”

    &#0197; = Å

Comments are closed.

Proudly powered by WordPress
Creative Commons License
EricBrooks.Com® is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions.


Connect