Life beyond the Internet….

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Make no mistake. I’m not that vain to think anyone has noticed my absence on the web lately. Unless you send email to my home ISP or my POP3 eroxgraphix.com address {and hear from the Mailer Daemon}, you probably don’t even know I have no internet service at this time. It’s a blessing in disguise. My family needs me as we’re riding through the scariest week of our lives. I’d be offline anyway, because I have to keep my priorities straight here.

Again, for those sharing nothing more than morbid curiosity… I can’t talk about it. There’s no need for my friends and family to know and freak out over a chain of events, and share my frustration and helplessness… just for sheer fucking entertainment value. I’ll know what I’m talking about when I look back and read this entry in the archives (assuming it makes it) months from now….

This is the week we feared all these months. I’m writing this on June 29th, the WORST day of the WORST week of our lives.. in what feels like the calm before the storm.

You’d never know it, but I’m scared to death right now. Haven’t eaten in two days; barely slept last night; dull chest pains; quease and the shakes when no one is looking; and that same coppery taste in my mouth that soldiers get as they’re about to go to war….. For the sake of our children, Carole & I are staying brave and positive. She cries hysterically, after the kids are sound asleep, every night.

All hell is about to break loose in our world….

I believe God has heard all of my prayers. But we have an agreement that I don’t treat him like "Santa Claus", and lets me fight my own battles..MY WAY…and (hopefully) overlooks my breaking of a few commandments as I do it. Though I’d kind of appreciate a miracle at this point, He knows I’m too proud to ask…..and I still believe in Ben Franklin’s adage: "God helps those who help themselves."

I’m not jotting this down for anyone but me. I want this on the page for me to look back one day and remember how the Tribe called Brooks all worked as a team to fight the odds. Though everything fell apart in the 11th hour; and as grim as it looks…I know we’re gonna beat it. We’re gonna beat it all. If you hear from me again, it’s true. If not… then I guess we didn’t make it. Who cares? These are just words on a screen to a bored surfer doing their nightly rounds on the weblog circuit….

I predict I will come out of this very bitter and angry at society. Colder and crueler than you can possibly imagine… but you’ll all never know, as I have kept a "happy face" on all this time right? I see no reason to change that. I still love you guys no matter what.

I can’t even be angry with them. They’re nice people with families themselves…just doing their jobs…. following orders.

There is life beyond the Internet, you know. It’s called "REAL life." There are no "Undo" or "Reboot" options here.

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