NeoCon Jesus (now with Kung-fu grip)

I have a confession to make.
I’m left handed.
Please don’t hate me.

Oh right. It’s 2004. We’ve wised up in society and realized that southpaws are not cursed to be Satan’s minions unless we’re forced to write with our right hands.

Sounds silly don’t it? Less than two generations ago, schoolkids WERE forced to become right-handed because of silly superstitions. They’re still luckier than the people FROM 400 years ago that were burned as witches because of it.

We used to think Blacks and Jews were subhumans once. We wised up. Maybe we’ll wise up about gays some day. Maybe one day we’ll grow up and come to realize that gay people, like southpaws, are simply “wired different” than “normal” folks.


The same topic seems to be on a lot of people’s minds. Not the left-handed stuff, but the current religious climate where (in my opinion) Jesus Christ is completely unrecognizable now.

A man who saved an adultress FROM a mob by saying “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” now has people justifying all sorts of bigotry and hatred towards gays in his name.

A man who once said “Give on to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and give onto God the things that are God’s” is now the posterboy for doing away with Separation of church and state.

A man who once opened up a can of whoopass on the Moneychangers for trying to cash in on God is now considered a registered trademark of the GOP, the rich & elite, and in cahoots with televangelists who pray for the deaths of liberal judges, gets busted with cheap hookers, and takes money FROM old ladies so their pets can have an air-conditioned doghouse. (Don’t get me started on all his teachings against the rich and the hypocrites).

He never blamed blindness or leprosy as being punishment for a sin. Yet people with AIDS now apparently “got what’s coming to them”; ironically, gluttons die of heart attacks and smokers die of cancer every day and get a free pass and families can even sue. Go figure.

Who is this “NeoCon Jesus” that thinks torturing prisoners (as long as they’re not Americans) is ok? And when did he develop this “screw the poor” attitude? The Jesus I knew was one of compassion and love and forgiveness for all kinds of people.

I don’t like this new Jesus very much.
I miss the old Jesus. I wish he’d come back already and open another can of whoopass on the Moneychangers.

4 thoughts on “NeoCon Jesus (now with Kung-fu grip)

  1. well, you’ll get an AMEN on that FROM me!!
    what they don’t realize is not everyone believes the same as they do…and this country was founded on religious freedoms (or so I thought?)
    like (one) of the bumper stickers I sport on the back of my van say’s…”Freedom of religion means ALL religions”
    not just the one ol whats his name practices

  2. I was forced to become right-handed when I was a kid… But the reasons weren’t religious – they were stated as “it’s easier to be right-handed” – meaning MOST people are right handed, so it’s better than needing special scissors or something like that.

    I don’t think it matters, frankly, whether homosexuality is rooted in a physiological difference. I still wouldn’t think there was anything wrong even if it were a choice.

    And I agree, I see very little of the Jesus I read about in the Bible in today’s sweeping relgious ideas… Like yeah, screwing the poor.
    Or when he decided healing is not necessary, or some such rubbish.

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