It appears Betty Bowers, America’s Best Christian ™ has given The Good Book® a rest and has put Kitty Kelley’s new trash novel on her nightstand….
I have no intentions of buying the book, it just seems some of the allegations are just too outlandish for me to believe:
- The Bush family fortune *didn’t* come FROM Prescott Bush’s investments in the Third Reich, but when Barbara Bush robbed banks nationwide with Ma Barker’s gang instead
- The Bush family feud with Dan Rather actually started when Rather asked Poppy in 1988 “Do you have any naked pictures of your wife? Wanna buy some?”
- The Mystery of George W’s missing National Guard year is solved as an anonymous unimpeachable source (codenamed “UrkettBay”) offers proof that Lt. Bush skipped Alabama to become a roadie for John Denver (which would make a coverup TOTALLY understandable.)
- Bob Dole was banned FROM the White House for staring too long at the Bush twins and popping viagra like tic tacs
- Strom Thurmond was rumoured to be on the outs after saying to Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice “They actually PAY you people to work around the house these days, huh?”
- A man condemned to the electric chair in Texas held a false glimmer of hope for a reprieve when Governor Bush showed up. Bush then put Jiffy Pop popcorn on his lap and told the warden: “Ok, NOW you can light him up.”
I mean jeez… what happened to respect of the office of the President, anyway?
It’s not like we still have Slick Willie or Tricky Dick in there now….
Ron Reagan (who DOES bear a slight resemblance to a young Frank Sinatra when you really think about it) offered no comment at the time of this posting.