Best Wishes for Bogey….

  • Well it sure looks frosted to me! Hey, nothing wrong with that…I used to spike & frost my hair (it was the 80’s… we did crazy things back then… I wanted to be the next Billy Idol.).I am wishing Bogey the very best… that story about Misha was so sad! :0(

    Yeah… “King Dork” having girlfriends…picture that. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  • Today is Webmistress Appreciation Day – Don’t forget to visit her site, and drop her a note and tell her how you appreciate her sharp wit, okay?That’s “WIT” with a “W”!

Attention, you Boneheads!!!!!

The entry below… was a SPOOF…a LAMPOON! (Gawd even close friends were concerned and wrote!) Yet more proof that hard-biting satire is a genetic trait with the Tribe called Brooks. That *was* Erika & Ashley (misspellings and all, drove me nuts!). I’m sure the fact that a nine and a seven year old being able to blog more interestingly than many of you, is probably making you feel pretty darn bad about yourselves right about now….

It should. You truly suck.

In fact, 99% of what you read here is pure satire (Yes, Carole & I were on Ricki Lake in ’94, and we *really* think Susan Rocks!…not to mention she’s a hottie…)… perhaps some of you take offense when it’s directed at you because you see a bit of stinging truth that you’d rather not face. I know I can take a look inside and laugh at myself… why can’t you all???? A war recently started over a fucking joke I did… I still can’t believe that happened… ya pompous morons!

If you are looking for Pearls of Wisdom in a more direct, serious fashion, I suggest

Lucid Confusion, particularly his pieces on not taking life too seriously and using the web as therapy (it’s a cold cruel web, kiddies!). Jeff doesn’t pull punches, and he tells it like it is.

Of course this is the same man who said: “Went to a wake for an in-law. Suddenly you realize, wow she’s got great legs”

Well… nobody’s perfect.
And hey, that just means more living, breathing women for me! :0)

A word from the Adorable Brooks Kidz….

Me & SammiHi it’s me, Erika. I’m going to start second grade in a few weeks, and I’m SO exited!

re-inactmnt... this is not a real pikcherDaddy won’t be able to do anything here, since he’s in the hospital. So I figured me and Ashley can fill in for daddy. I also finished his updates for Gresser Realty. (He does that junk the hard way… ain’t he never heard of PHP3 or XML????) Don’t forget to visit our site: The Adorable Brooks Kidz, and sign our guestbook… we’d love to hear from you!

Mommy wont tell us what happened.
All she tells us is “’cause your daddy’s A PIG, that’s why!!!

AshleyWell, DUUUUH, Rikki! We know Daddy’s a pig! Remember when we went to see “Rocky & Bullwinkle” and Dad went to get the popcorn? Mommy came out, and he was talking to the popcorn girl for 20 minutes… AND STILL DIDEN’T GET US NO POPCORN!?!?!

But Daddy’s fun too. When Mommy works late he lets us have cereal for dinner, and we don’t have to do our homework, cuz he says mommy will do it for us in the morning… she wont mind. They’re always fighting… they should go back on Ricki Lake like they did in 1994 (You don’t remember that do you, Erika? The producer kept calling you “lil’ Ricki” in the Green Room.)

Weekend Erika and Ashley’s Surfing Picks….

  • Point of Focus– Susan is really nice! She has lots of great stuff to make your web page look nice, and she supports Save-A-Dog. We like her! And we hope those rotten people stealing her stuff will go to jail or something…
  • Britney Spears Official Website – Ashley would KILL me if I didnt add this. They’re having a bit of trouble with their shockwave opening, but it’s a great site…and Britney actually writes to her!!!!
  • Blues Clues Weekly Game – It’s a lot of fun! Johnny loves it and him and Sammi learn stuff!!!
  • Yahoo! Clubs – Arthur – Arthur is my favorite character. You can talk about him here. The club founder even knows Marc Brown (the author).
  • Mama Stories – Lacey’s Weblog has some funny stories in it about her kids!


– Ashley & Erika –

I won I won I won I won!!!!!!

I never won anything in my life… and The Webmistress just announced ME the winner of her new Authentic hand-crafted official Webmistress™ T-Shirt!!!!! I gotta take a pic of me in it and send it to her (the pic, not the shirt…sorry, so excited!!!!).

I know, I know… it looks like the contest was rigged, but I swear to Gawd, I popped out an email within seconds of her posting the contest, and became the 10th Emailer. (Hey I’m excited, don’t ruin this for me!). And yes, like The Webmistress, I’m considering changing the name of this page to the “Jo/Matt/Pete/Faith/Graham Linky-Lovefest“… I even begged Jo to give it to one of her thousands of adoring fans and make me another one…. but she would have none of that! I won it fair & square, and the rest of you will have to BUY ONE!!!!! Or stay on her site… ALL DAY LONG, and keep pressing “refresh” every three minutes for the next contest announcement. She would be terribly flattered by your devotion too!

EricBrooks.Com!…. Nothing quite like it (on Google)!

Eight Internet Years….

Zeldman continues to take a beating for giving Netscape a much-needed swift kick up the ass. The poor guy’s getting it from all sides. I know the feeling all too well. Every time I open my mouth, I’m a “sweetheart” to somebody, and a “vitriolic, mean-spirited asshole” to somebody else. You can’t win on the web! And now I feel like crap to have to do the same thing to a man who has been such a great friend and a mentor to me…

JZ, you were too nice to them, bro! See, the Eric Brooks version would’ve laid all the cold hard facts down, and used more colorful phrases like :

  • “Yo! Get your hands off each other’s dicks, and put out a fucking browser already!!!”
  • “He-lloooooo….? Not that anyone gives a rat’s ass about Netscape anymore, buuuut….”
  • …and my personal favorite:

  • “I don’t know what to do first, bitch-slap you little geeks, or remove Solitare from your computers!!!! GET TO FUCKING WORK….NOWWWWW!!!!!”

I mean, guys, I’m so sick of this shit! I know I’m not a programmer, and I have no clue what it takes to build a rendering engine from scratch… but JEEZ! I sure as hell know what it’s like to write two sets of code for every page… to spend hours looking at a page through different browsers and make compromises to my designs to suit everybody.

Two fucking years…. an “Internet Year” is three months, so we’re talking Eight Internet years of this crap. Eight years of my pages not validating because I have to add non-standard code so that the six or seven Netscape users that visit my site every year don’t say: (Whiny nasal voice)”Your pages looook fuuuunny…. I can’t reaaaad some of theeeeem”.
Suck is right, pull the plug! The fat lady is tuning up as I write this….

Gee, you don’t think being declared The King of Parody has gone to my head, do ya? :0)

EricBrooks.Com!…. In a class by himself!

Mööd Lyrics

“I carry my crucifix under my deathlist

Forward my mail to me in Hell
Liars and the martyrs lost faith in The Father
Long lost in the wishing well”
Mötley Crüe : “Wild Side” -Heard this last night on KNAC.Com.

That’s poetry man! Loud & Wild… just like me. (It’s not too loud, you’re just too fucking old, that’s all! {Mid-Life Crisis Commences in 24 days, got it all planned out…thanks for asking!})

Weekend Surfing Picks….

Dave Bastian.Com– He totally nailed what I’ve been trying to get this site to look like for years! Another proud disciple of “How To Draw Comics The Marvel Way“… he rocks!

L.A.F.A.S.A – It stands for LouisianA Foundation Against Sexual Assault. Lots of great resources and information for rape victims. I’ve done a lot of pro-bono graphic work for Stephanie Prescia. The guys who did her site did an awesome job

Shake Your Booty – This was sent via my Mother-in-law. She recently got AOL, and loves to forward every dancing/animated thing she can find. Of all the tasteless things I’ve seen in my life… this is definitely one of them.
(Warning: You will be bombarded with pop-ups when you close the window.)