Phil Parlock: Professional Victim for hire

For the two or three people on the web who aren’t sick of “RatherGate™” , I offer even more goofy hoax-y hokey goodness.
(And no, CBS did NOT ORDER Dan Rather to commit seppuku yet. Whoever you are, stop saying that!)

Originally broken by Rising Hegemon, as seen on Atrios and Truthout.

Father of the Year 2004
What kind of a world do we live in where a man can’t protest at a political rally and NOT claim he got his ass kicked for the third election year in a row by bloodthirsty screeching moonbats? (I mean what are the odds of that happening?)

It was fun to bounce around on the internet to see if the Right Wing Unit of the Pajama Patrol™ would fall for the bait. InstaPutz did (but to his credit quickly corrected it), elsewhere, MetaFilter kind of degraded INTO several camps. One of whom thought a cuffed protester being kicked at the RNC convention made it ok.* But they eventually caught on to the gag too.

Well, not to brag, but I am quite the fact checker myself. I have uncovered new evidence his claim to be attacked every election year is NOT staged. In fact, Phil Parlock gets attacked almost every day for one thing or another. People just don’t like him… and he seems to be everywhere:

On the moon with an angry astronaut
At the pyramids with angry Egyptians
South Park, Colorado...
At Star Trek Conventions

One way or another… I feel terrible for that poor little girl.
*For future reference, guys: The correct answer is kick the shit out of the man attacking the little girl, regardless of what’s in her hand. There’s no excuse. If you’re up to it, kick her father’s ass for putting her in that predicament for a bonus. (Unless it’s “Take your daughter to a protest” day, or something. Then it’s ok.)

5 replies on “Phil Parlock: Professional Victim for hire”

  1. Heh…he got off easy if all that happened was a ripped sign and a crying daughter…at least he didn’t have to sit in toxic waste for 17 hours and then be in overcrowded jail cells for another 31….I just love how if you’re a liberal protestor it’s “disorderly conduct” and when you’re a right wing nut job it’s “violating your first amendment rights”….

    ahhh…selective freedom!

  2. I really, really want to be a fly on the wall in the future when this jackass has to EXPLAIN to his teenage daughter how he “had” to exploit her for the moral good of America. Really.

  3. Ah, but Yankee Dyke the difference is your arrest wasn’t a staged publicity stunt, and you haven’t done it three election years in a row and had someone in the press gullible enough to fall for it every time.

    Just the fact that the Moonie-run Washington Times is running with this story full speed ahead says it all.

  4. LOVED the cartoons!
    The story should be all over the print media but of course it isn’t because well, because it’s not about Britney Spears or one of the many, many trials. Damn!

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