Proper Care and Hygiene for Your Dongle

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DISCLAIMER: If this post should go awry, I would kindly ask you to direct any complaints toward Batgrl, as she brought this topic up in the previous posts comments. Yes, *that* Batgrl. The one who brought you the topic of Slug Sex. Apparently she is back to her old playful, nefarious self again.

Can we take on a serious topic, here? You know, about that part that no one seems comfortable talking about openly? I mean, let’s be honest here. Most of us either have one or desperately need one right about now.

I am talking about…




That seemingly useless piece attached to the back of your scanner, yet your scanner doesn’t work without it.

Why doesn’t anyone talk about it? Why is everyone so ashamed of their dongle? Sure we’d probably like a bigger dongle, I mean who wouldn’t?

You read blog entries about a new monitor, digital camera, or a web cam, but nothing like:

“His brown eyes, sparkling in the candlelight, told me it was time. We put down our wine glasses, and I took his dongle into my hands and gently guided it into my port… where I couldn’t help but squeal in delight how it was a perfect and tight fit as it slid all the way inside….”


“Damn, man…. I was trying to jam my dongle in that tight little usb last night. But I had it in the wrong holes, so it was so freakin’ big I busted a few pins in it, an’ shit.”

Our dongles are a very natural and important part of our computer setups. We shouldn’t be ashamed to talk about it.

(And I didn’t mention Pecan Pie ONCE in this entire post!)

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17 replies on “Proper Care and Hygiene for Your Dongle”

  1. you’re a sick man. we don’t talk about slipping big dongles into our ports for reason .. it’s why this all goes on in the back of the computer, out of the view of proper society. sheesh.

  2. I’m sorry I offended you kd. Where I come from, we just let our dongles just hang out there in the open for all to see. The other day, I had my dongle sitting on my desk at work. My boss said “Hey is that your dongle?”. I said “Yes, that is indeed my dongle.”

    I was then politely asked to put my dongle in a desk drawer or something. I can certainly understand the reason behind this, as there’s a lot of high school kids coming to tour the job & how newspaper works… and we can’t have these kids seeing our dongles, now can we? That’s just wrong on so many levels. Even by my standards.

  3. Our dongles are kept in a secret box in the boss’ office, as there is great potential for dongle theft. Also there are a limited amount of dongles. There’s a definite demand for dongles.

    And our dongles are different looking than the one you have an image of. Ours are long and thin and purple. Like this. (Randomly that’s from a German Mac page, go figure. Er, at least I think that’s German.)

    I can’t believe that this is the first post you have given us on the untapped humor of the dongle.
    *shakes head sadly*

  4. You know… If I had known so many people knew what the hell a DONGLE was, I would have had fun with this months ago!

    btw, I was just informed by my boss that since my scanner was run by a SCSI (pronounced “Scuzzy”) port, it is not a dongle on my scanner after all… it is a “terminator”.

    (It works best when you say that doing your best Schwarzennegger impersonation… “TUHRRRMINATOHRRR”)

    So while, I’m sure that many ladies on the web can attest to seeing a scuzzy dongle every now and then….

    I have a TERMINATOR.

    It is important to me that everyone knows this.
    (Or at least runs around spreading rumors about it…) :0)

  5. I once modeled a dongle….

    In 3D that is. What did you think I wore it like a fig leaf and pranced about on a stage striking poses? It would have to of been a pretty big dongle, of course.

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