Have a pest annoying you? Here are a few lines GUARANTEED to stop them in thier tracks…
Doting new parents that *constantly* urge you to hold their child/see pictures:“Awwwwww…. (s)he is TOO CUTE!”
People that hang over your food when you’re trying to eat:
“Eeeeew, I think someone’s trying to kill me! Try this. Does this taste like rat poison to you?”
Get rid of telemarketers:
People have it backwards. They try to get *off* the phone with these guys, when they are armed with a million responses to keep you on the phone.
Turn the tables on them by getting *REALLY* personal and chatty. Remember, they’re paid a commission for every lead they generate… if they see it’s going nowhere, and you keep directing the topic back to a pointless conversation… *THEY* will be the ones to try and get rid of *YOU*.
…. which unfortunately, is not covered in the training manual. :0)
Worst case scenario, is their supervisor will assume they’re goofing off and having a personal phone call and get fired. Of course you don’t want that to happen. Do you?
Sure-fire line to get you a seat on a bus or subway:
(Hover over intended target and say:) “I think I’m gonna throw up.”
You’re on the date from hell, it’s raining, she doesn’t want to get wet, and you want to end this…ASAP:“Awww, honey…. don’t worry. Only *sugar* melts in the rain.”
“Doo-doo kinda clumps together.”
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of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily
reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat,
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