Sure-fire lines

Have a pest annoying you? Here are a few lines GUARANTEED to stop them in thier tracks…

  • Doting new parents that *constantly* urge you to hold their child/see pictures:“Awwwwww…. (s)he is TOO CUTE!”
    “Adopted?”
  • People that hang over your food when you’re trying to eat:
    “Eeeeew, I think someone’s trying to kill me! Try this. Does this taste like rat poison to you?”
  • Get rid of telemarketers:
    People have it backwards. They try to get *off* the phone with these guys, when they are armed with a million responses to keep you on the phone. 

    Turn the tables on them by getting *REALLY* personal and chatty. Remember, they’re paid a commission for every lead they generate… if they see it’s going nowhere, and you keep directing the topic back to a pointless conversation… *THEY* will be the ones to try and get rid of *YOU*.

    …. which unfortunately, is not covered in the training manual. :0)

    Worst case scenario, is their supervisor will assume they’re goofing off and having a personal phone call and get fired. Of course you don’t want that to happen. Do you?

  • Sure-fire line to get you a seat on a bus or subway:
    (Hover over intended target and say:) “I think I’m gonna throw up.”
  • You’re on the date from hell, it’s raining, she doesn’t want to get wet, and you want to end this…ASAP:“Awww, honey…. don’t worry. Only *sugar* melts in the rain.”
    “Doo-doo kinda clumps together.”
  • 8 thoughts on “Sure-fire lines

    1. my sure fire way to fend off nasty bill collectors when they’re harassing you is to tell them exactly how much and when they can have it…I did this to one bill collector and he flipped out and hung up…made me smile…:)

    2. Maybe I’ll just start reading to telemarketers – “hey, I was just reading this book – it’s really good – here, let me read you a chapter…”

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