The People -vs- The God of Mischief

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This is not to be confused with moi, your lovable gOdOfMiScHiEf. But I feel must break the silence over a grave injustice that’s been carried for centuries….

Loki, the God of MischiefLoki was the God of Mischief, not the God of Evil… big difference. Sure he was a ball buster and a prankster, but unlike all the other stuffy and boring Norse Gods… Loki was fun! I wouldn’t mind having a shapeshifter at my parties… would you?

Ok… so here’s the point. He was hunted down by the gods over the death of Balder, right? Let’s examine the facts of Exhibit A:

1. Balder has this terrifying dream of his death.
2. Next thing you know, Balder has some contest for people to throw darts, daring people to try and kill him, in order to prove his invincibility.

WHAT WAS BALDER, SOME KIND OF AN ASSHOLE????
Did the word “Darwin Awards” mean anything back then?

Loki tricks Frigg in telling him about some kind of mistletoe that can pierce him, he makes a dart, and has Balder’s blind (???) brother throw this dart which kills him dead.

Conclusions: Balder was an ass spelunker & died from his own stupidity. Natural Selection at work here, not murder.

(I said “Frigg”. heh heh.)

Exhibit B:
1. Frigg (*snort!*) basically begs Hel (keeper of the underworld & coincidentally Loki’s daughter) to spare Balder. Hel agrees only on the condition that everyone mourns.
2. A great mourning is felt across the land, all except one giantess (who is Loki in disguise)….
3. A deal is a deal, Balder’s spoiled whiny ass is dragged to Hela for all eternity. Too bad so sad.

Conclusion: HAHAHAHA!!! I fucking love this guy! 😀

Eventually all the gods (who obviously have no sense of humor) go on a manhunt for Loki to punish him. What a bunch of pricks! Chained for all eternity with a venomous snake dropping acid on him.

Where is Loki’s side of the story? WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE, PEOPLE?????

This case is eerily similar to another wrongfully-convicted god, Prometheus. In bringing fire to primitive man (who then advanced in all aspects of civilization), Prometheus was sentenced to be chained to a rock while Zeus’ eagle disembowels him every day for eternity.

What a bunch of petty shitheads these ancient gods were. Not like that nice Jehovah fella in the Old Testament.

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Published by Eric Brooks

Web & Graphic Designer, Blogger, Musician, Evil Clown. I also code websites and promote people for a living. Still kind of a jerk, though. Approach with food. PS: Don't listen to Snopes. I am REAL NEWS, and I don't let my crush on Tulsi Gabbard interfere with my objective reporting. So NYAH!

14 replies on “The People -vs- The God of Mischief”

  1. WOW! That is some funny but VERY interesting stuff…something new to do research on…but humm…I never knew bout this Loki dude and all those characters…hey…interestin! Thanx for sharing!

  2. You never saw the episode on Hercules where he’s visiting Asgaard, and Loki tricks Hercules into killing Balder with the dart? It was in interesting crossover with the mythology stories on tv.

  3. Sorry, *not a Hercules Fan*…*blushes softly*

    I actually don’t like those kinda shows…too fake…I prefer the movies which are more realistic…but I must do some research on this “Loki” you speak so highly of…

    KEWL! Nother mythical creature to add to my list of curiosities and must research topics! *LOL*

    I do believe this Loki is not as bad as the Incubus/Succubus…I am now even more curious to learn more bout him! *smiles angelically*

  4. If this happened today, Loki would be in Abu Ghraib, Frigg would be sued in civil court for breach of confidentiality, and Balder’s pic would be on more mugs than Dale Earnhardt’s. Let’s not forget the product liability suit brought by Achilles’ estate against a certain sandal manufacturer (the goddess Nike comes to mind)…it certainly set a precedent.

  5. Balder’s pic would be on more mugs than Dale Earnhardt’s
    You know… there is probably more truth to that than you realize. Think about Dale Earnhardt’s death… if he had follow the rules like everyone else, he’d still be alive.

    But I guess someone had to become “The Patron Saint of Rednecks”. 🙂

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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions.