The First Episode of The Super Dudes– “Incredible, Ain’t it?”
NOW PLAYING ON NEWGROUNDS.COM
Let’s face it. If you’re willing to run around town in tights, have incredible powers that you use only for good deeds, with no insurance or financial compensation, rather than knock off a bank or go on a killing spree:
1) You really need to get laid.
b) You’re out of your mind.
Let’s take the mythos of our beloved superheroes a step further and make them more real. The good and the bad. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
Batman – Watches parents gunned down as a kid. Screws him up. Becomes this dark, brooding, pessimistic angel of death. His family leaves him with more money than God. Uses it on hi-tech equipment and vehicles, travels the world developing fighting/detective techniques.
All that money and Alfred couldn’t find the kid a good psychiatrist?
Iron Man – Like billionaire Bruce Wayne, Tony Stark uses his money to build this incredible suit of armor. He can survive the crushing depths of the ocean, fly through space, and stand in the middle of the sun.
However, he overlooks minor details in the design of his suit.. like eating, drinking and going to the bathroom. Oh yeah, and he’s claustrophobic.
Captain America – Bear in mind, the dude was frozen in an iceberg since World War II. When found, he was immediately put in a sheltered environment by the government. While updating him about the past 60 years they forget little things like The Cold War is over and the Civil Rights movement. Therefore, he still fears commies and doesn’t understand why people are up in arms when he refers to The Falcon as a “fine colored fellow.”
He is your grandfather, trapped in a 20-year-old’s body.
You know, saying stuff that people said 40 years ago… now considered offensive in the 21st Century. (You weren’t expecting a politically-correct production FROM ME, were you???)
Wonder Woman – A man-hating Amazon wearing only a skimpy bustier and thong underwear? I don’t think so. Coming FROM an all-female island to a world with men in it, dressed like that… She can only be one of two things: A serious nympho or a major tease. There’s potential here.
The Incredible Hulk – Big and stupid. Not much I can do there… or is there? What if he was wearing lead underwear when the gamma bomb went off? Would he have a pink butt like the Coppertone girl?
There’s more… but I’ll tap INTO it in upcoming installments.
In this one, Wonder Woman tries to get it on with the Hulk….