Things I wont be doing at work no more

Since I’ve been asked nicely by the powers that be, I will no longer…

  1. Walk in singing “Cuban Pete“, and try to start a conga line with the sales staff.
  2. Talk to my “imaginary friend” in the lunch room. See, it’s a vicious cycle. No one wants to sit with me… I wanna talk to someone, but now they’re claiming this is why they dont….
  3. Ask about “the office weirdo”. Everyone keeps saying we have one, but I’ve never seen him/her.
  4. Ignore my phone. I keep forgetting, I’m not home.
  5. Tell everyone taking a smoke break on the loading dock how easy it would be for someone to drive by and mow us all down with Mack-11’s

I’ll be good from now on. I swear.

9 thoughts on “Things I wont be doing at work no more

  1. Oh you won’t be good, why even pretend?
    Oh wait – it’s that early release thing, huh. Forget I said anything!

    Aw, no more conga lines? But I love conga lines!

  2. And I do this cute thing with my tushie during the “CHICK-CHICKEE-BOOM” part too…. *sigh*, an era has ended.

    Actually my best friend called me Friday. We’ve been buds since we were teenagers. And he’s actually amazed at my longevity at this job. (A year and a half… can YOU believe it???)

    He said “You must be *really* good at what you do that they put up with *your* bullshit like that. :0) Ah, friends!

  3. Yes, guys…NO MORE CONGA LINES! Dammit to hell, I’m taking this up with human resources… this is harrassment.

    Heh heh… I see you’ve tried the “Preview” function, Kendra. Check out what my “Cancel” button does too. Hee Hee!

  4. So these things are considered odd? It’s becoming clearer and clearer to me that I do not work in the real world. Someday I’ll have to repost the story of the former co-worker who we gave family leave to so he could take care of his daughter. Thing is, this guy;s whole family was imaginary. I think they gave him the leave just to get him out of the building for 2 weeks.

  5. I’m going into deep trauma over no more conga lines.
    I didn’t even get invited to the last conga line party.
    I who have not conga will not see conga again?
    (gee, that was fun to say)

Comments are closed.

Proudly powered by WordPress
Creative Commons License
EricBrooks.Com® is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions.