Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-04-24

Read more of my obnoxious statuses by following me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/EricBrooksCom


  • I'm not sure about much these days, but after just seeing an Angel with my own eyes… I am sure they are real. #
  • If you have so much free time that you post in all of the trending topics just to be noticed, then #YouDeserveToBeSingle (yes, I know.) #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – When I borrow money, and giggle when you ask "when am I getting it back?", it was probably just a tickle in my throat. #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – When I tell you I love you, and you hear a woman in the background. It's prolly just the maid in this motel. Honest! #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – If a MAN ever hurts you or cheats on you, ask yourself "Did I burn the roast again? Did I say 'no' to sex recently?" #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – It is NEVER a good idea to invite your wife and your girlfriend to the same awards ceremony. #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – If your best friend is prone to violence, making moves on his mom is probably a very bad idea. #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – Your BF's previous occupation was "Suicide Bomber", and now you fear he has "Commitment Issues"… O RLY? #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – If you catch your man kissing another girl on the couch… Wait. What were you doing out of the kitchen, anyway?!?!!? #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – Your BF's previous occupation was "Suicide Bomber", and now you realize he has "Commitment Issues"… O RLY? #
  • Today, I will eat moldy pizza, inhale cleaning fluids, wash down 3 brands of cough syrup with alcohol, & my tweets will be awesome! #Winning #
  • #YallNeedToBreakUp if ur guy doesn't think Captain Kirk was the greatest Starship Captain EVAR! #
  • As you all may or may not know, Skynet takes over in about an hour or so. This might help you survive Judgement Day… http://bit.ly/efThDc #
  • WELCOME SKYNET!!!! (*cough* see you all in the bunker *cough*) http://youtu.be/VlzptZ9wieQ #
  • I love working with Alzheimer patients. This weekend they will be hiding their own Easter eggs. #
  • Don't watch this video! http://youtu.be/C67tC8E89eg #
  • #ifitwasuptome I would have @Prof_S_Hawking say "I'll walk u through it" to someone at least once a day. #EBIsAnAsshole #
  • Being tough isn't in how hard you hit. It's in how hard you *GET HIT* and keep moving forward. #
  • #FF @NakedNurse @Bethycutiepie13 @batiekear @CrazedMinx @stonebryson @VXEN4urVP @mIsTaLiCiOuS @JuztJeff #
  • #FF @jennsonthego @Soulosphere @kevin1877uk @poeticenigma @JaqStone @MirabaiGrace @stonebryson @JDBarlow2 @OKKinderhook #
  • #FF @JuztJeff @jennuh21 @Johnk662561 @sikokitty66 @Ms__Marissa @NakedNurse @PamelaNRed @VXEN4urVP @TaraGoodz #
  • #FF @batiekear @CrazedMinx @VannaBanana01 @brenda_r @BethLayne @NakedNurse @Matthew_67 @DocGonzoPHD @StateofMANtana #
  • #FF @Bethycutiepie13 @batiekear @AStolenCherry @CrazedMinx @stonebryson @VannaBanana01 @VXEN4urVP @mellybean1226 @1in133 @NakedNurse #
  • #FF @CrazedMinx @stonebryson @rogueflorida @VXEN4urVP @Bethycutiepie13 @ericswett @AaronPCP #
  • Being tough isn't in how hard you hit. It's in how hard you *GET HIT* and keep moving forward. #
  • Wow… looking up old friends, acquaintances and WebGods I admired from my n00b MetaFilter days and their counterparts on MySpace. A loop. #
  • #FF @MirabaiGrace @freshcoffeelove @jewelsofawe @LillianLaruan @reymond1985 @souloshere @THIRDSTONE56 @w8tn4him #
  • #FF @CrazedMinx @rogueflorida @Bethycutiepie13 @stonebryson @reneehendricks @VXEN4urVP @ericswett @AaronPCP @batiekear @TheBig80sBitch #
  • #FF @stonebryson @EB_White @telln0one @contessalee @bethlayne @La_Raconteur @SheGrizzly @batiekear @Bethycutiepie13 @CrazedMinx @NakedNurse #
  • #FF @thesoulkarma @jennsonthego @venomous1913 @AStolenCherry @sbjacobson @ericswett @NewsandIdol @NimTwitty #
  • Reason 2,121 why Twitter is better than MySpace and Facebook combined. Two words: @jane_bot http://twitpic.com/4o1jur #
  • Holy shit! @Donkey_Sosa LIVES!!!!!!! (I haven't heard from you since the 2006 MySpace days! Good to see you again.) #
  • Okay… Friday night and I am all alone on 3 social networks. Lemme guess. Everyone is out getting laid but me again, right? #
  • Send out FREE Easter E-Cards to all your friends & loved ones at the EricBrooks.Com Card Shop! http://lnk.ms/M6N80 #
  • Send out FREE Easter E-Cards to all your friends & loved ones at the EricBrooks.Com Card Shop! http://lnk.ms/M6N80 #
  • Oh hey, @Tom_Carpenter … I think I just met your future wife, @SarcasticRylie. You're welcome. #
  • We are LIVE at Jesus' Tomb covering… oh, they're playing 'Thriller' in the background? Wow, that's new this year… #
  • Happy Giant Rabbit bringing you chocolate, muhfuggahs! (Yes, this was me in the Poconos. I get bored easily.) http://twitpic.com/4ozvvw #
  • Happy Giant Rabbit bringing you chocolate day, muhfuggahs! (Yes, this was me in the Poconos. I get bored easily.) http://twitpic.com/4p00gu #
  • If u break up #becauseoffacebook , Twitter or any other social networking site… relationship probably wasn't all that solid to begin with. #
  • I agree. Old geezers are sponging off our tax dollars and putting nothing back. http://lnk.ms/NHHYY #
  • GOP: WHINING SENIORS NEED TO START PAYING BACK WHAT THEY'VE TAKEN IN MEDICARE AND SOCIAL SECURITY – http://lnk.ms/NHHYY #
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    Published by Eric Brooks

    Web & Graphic Designer, Blogger, Musician, Evil Clown. I also code websites and promote people for a living. Still kind of a jerk, though. Approach with food. PS: Don't listen to Snopes. I am REAL NEWS, and I don't let my crush on Tulsi Gabbard interfere with my objective reporting. So NYAH!

    Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions.

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