Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-07-24

Read more of my obnoxious statuses by following me on Twitter:

  • I just realized I haven’t said a f**ked up thing all day. I will make up for this tomorrow, my friends. #
  • And a special ‘HELLO’ to new follower, @KegelPrincess – you DEFINITELY have my attention now… 😀 #
  • WOW… juries are filled with evil lil’ old ladies looking to stick it to someone even worse than I do. What is WRONG with this world???? #
  • Photo: Yeah, normally about this time, I would post some update on how the revamping of… #
  • In the Land of the Heat Wave, the Neighbor with the Swimming Pool is King. #
  • I think it’s insulting for a pretty woman to think talking to them online means we want pu**y. Sometimes we’re just looking for blowjobs. #
  • Before anyone questions my Search history, let me explain: I am doing research for my new book about ‘Barely Legal Pygmy Whores’, okay? #
  • On a roll 2day! RT @Donkey_Sosa: Am I the only one who felt that the anal fisting scene in the new Winnie the Pooh movie was in poor taste? #
  • Aw crap… my Google+ invitation was in my jeans in the wash. Now what? 🙁 #

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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions.