Wet yo’ pants, candyass!

Can we talk?

Wow! It seems the Trolls had a field day this week. Nico took down pictures, Michele scrapped her 2002 Most intriguing Bloggers project. wKen had to remove comments off his photo site, and Solonor has been taking shit FROM the Muther Farkers resonsible for it. And, in Wil Whatizname’s defense… spoke out against what happened to wKen.

(Speaking of which, I see my homegurl took Wil outside for a private spanking, yesterday. YOU GO GIRL!)

Well, isn’t that ALL a fine, howdy do?
As Michele once said: “How come the people with the biggest opinions and loudest mouths are always anonymous?”

True. Most of the nastiest, hurtful things have USUALLY been said to me anonymously.

One thing I DO want to correct (based on Jon’s quote at Nico’s) is the myth that bloggers would NOT say what they say in a real life situation.

I SO disagree. Well, at least in a lot of cases of people that I know who have been accused of that. Perhaps it looks more amplified when seen written down, or maybe you caught them on a bad day when they’re really letting loose… but most people I know can, and WILL give it to you straight in person.

For example… I’ve spoken to Angel on the phone a few times, and I’m pretty sure she’ll call me an “?berdick” to my face. Faith, given her profession, can and will be agressive. Lisa will very candidly honest with you and tell you what you DON’T want to hear.

.., and of course I can think of a certain unnamed individual who has spent parts of his early life fighting for survival, studied Shotokai, played bodyguard, hung with mobsters, was offered a spot in the high school football team, and even considered becoming a marine, and perhaps his legal problems were somewhat exacerbated because he and his wife are loudmouths and smartasses in real life also. I think he’s a little agressive too. (But he collects teddy bears, so how bad can he be?)

These people also have softer sides. I don’t think you can get a full impression of them by just their writing. We’re all very two dimensional in CyberSpace.

I’m starting up a fund for flamed bloggers called the
“Wet yo’ Pants, Candyass!” Tour, which will send various bloggers right to your hometown where you can attempt so say to their face what you’ve said about them.

Any takers?

In the immortal words of “The Dude”:
“Don’t let your mouth write a CHECK that your body can’t cash.”

31 thoughts on “Wet yo’ pants, candyass!

  1. I only speak candidly to those I love and respect. Everyone else gets a pat on the head and a “run along now little one”.

    I do have a tremendous amount of respect for you. When you are an asshole, you own up to it before I can even call you on it. That takes balls my friends and if I had a “balls’o’steel” award, I would bestow it on you. Besides, testicles around your neck would go so well with that dickhead of yours. (oh I’m funny today.)

  2. Jeez, I go away for like a few hours cause I’m in a bitchy mood and all sorts of hell breaks loose. It’s a good thing I have you to keep my updated.

    Meanwhile, lest anyone doubt my real life ability to be a complete asshole, just last night the bitch who lives 2 doors down from me saw me walking down the hall toward the elevator and slammed the door right in my face. As I was still waiting when she came back up, she made one of those surprised noises, to which I replied “what did you expect bitch, you slammed the door and I had to wait.” Or the time when I called the elderly woman a fucking c*nt for stealing my cab.

    THe way I see it you guys get off easy.

  3. BRAVO!!!! ANYTHING I say on my blog, or anyone else’s for that matter I will gladly say IN PERSON!! I don’t get fired up often, but when I do….. Look the hell out!! *lol*

    Btw, the Teddy Bear guy is just that…. a teddy bear… ::smooch:

  4. *ohhhh my aching head*
    Apparently my 12 hour nap last night wasn’t enough as I zonked out on the couch…

    … only to be woken up to Carole laughing her head off at Lisa’s comments and the vision of me with silver balls around my neck.

    Faith: They do get off waaay to easy.
    Maria: I’ve seen that with you. Most days is nicey-nicey sweet posts about your day. Then you get on a topic like Creepy Pervert™, or Wil Wheaton.

    FUCK!!!! I run for cover! :0)
    But thank’s for the smooch, babe! *blush*

  5. Maybe it’s geography…
    I mean look at BlogCon. wtf?
    Days before that, everybody was so afraid to go because of all the fighting… then it was a three day nauseating blend of a tree-hugging kissy-smoochy fest. If there were any conflicts or scandals, it slipped past my gossip radar.

    Conclusion: West Coasters are phony.

    Faith… SEEERIOUSLY the East Side needs to do something!!! D.C….ATOMIC. (Hell I’d settle with the Paramus Mall) Even if it’s just one day.

  6. It was a pretty popular phrase in the 80’s… So it’s both. It was just one line in the rap that just always stuck out.

    Humilate someone for typos???
    Dude.. I’m am the WORST Offender of that. (Hell I even had to go back an fix THIS comment)These comment boxes are too small. And I am just too cocky to check my own spelling. But at least I have the ability to edit and correct my (many) mistakes here.

    All fixed. See?

  7. Well…
    I ALWAYS thought the Poconos would be a great spot. I’m in a freaking resort ya know.

    There’s two bedrooms we can boot kids out of… the rest of you can either sleep on the floor in the living room, the loft… or get a room in the hotel.

    Who’s coming up?

    The other thought is having it in Florida. We can meet Maria, and hang with The Princess™ and the rest of those soap-molesting Tampa Freaks.

  8. I’d gladly come to the east coast. Nothing happens in the midwest anyway, unless you’re interested in listening to the corn grow.

  9. I’m with Lisa! Have air mattress and SUV – will travel. You provide the soda and the snow – we can go to Camelback or wherever else is close by 🙂

  10. Oh cool, now I know who will be driving me there. Give me a chance to chug some beers on the way to prepare for the shock of the country.

    That’s it. the Poconos it is. But Li, I AM NOT sharing an air mattress with anyone named Beth again. (OY, how come everything brings back some sick memories with you??)

  11. Camelback’s here but we go snowtubing at Fernwood 10 minutes away all the time.

    If lodging at the Hacienda de LoKi is too much for those who need privacy it’s a bit pricy here, but the Budget Motel is very reasonable AND takes pets.

    We can tour Stroudsburg: “The City that goes to sleep at a reasonable hour™. Spend our nights getting sloshed either in Tamiment’s lounge, or Bateman’s Log Cabin where there is Karaoke every friday & Saturday night until 2AM.

    Carole says, if we’re all serious about this, she can get “The Constellation Room” here at Tamiment, we all chip in and she’ll cater it.

  12. :::breathing a huge sigh of relief at not having to go to a Blogathon at the Paramus Mall:::

    Sometimes, you guys scare me.

    I was just thinking, if you wanted snow, I have the Catskills to offer. But I think I’d rather crash -e-‘s house than have him crash mine. ;-D

    How far north of Philly are you, dahling?

  13. About two hours away…
    Thankfully we’re still closer to New York City (1 hour 1/2). We’re tough… but not tough enough for Philly. :0)

  14. …… and you do have to be damn tough to be from Philly. 😉

    I’m not sure what I’m doing here – Faith instructed me to come tell you I was coming to your house? or something? I can do the Poconos – do you have a heart shaped bed? 😉

  15. ROFLMAO Amy!!! Oh my God – I can NOT get the “Beautiful Mount Airy Lodge” and “Poconos Garden Club” commercials/jingles out of my head now! Heart shaped bed! Bwahahahaha! You got one of those machines where you drop a quarter in and it makes the bed vibrate, too? 😉

    Faith – stick with me, babe, and you’ll have memories to haunt you for the rest of your days!! *g*

    Eric – If you really want to do this, pick a date and soon so I can make sure I don’t sign up to play in a tournament that weekend.

  16. hey! i’m there.. i might be on the west coast, but my whole family is on the east coast. i can do both, and swing by and pick up lisa on the way!

    btw, i am much more of a wus in real life.. unless a) we’re talking politics, b) you act like a patriarchial fuck and i’m not in a situation where i won’t screw something serious up if i’m not all nicey nice up, c) you call me up all crazy like accusing me of all sorts of shit and attempting to manipulate me, or d) i’ve finally realized you’ve been manipulating me in some way.and now i’m confronting you about it.

  17. Amy, Brooke come on down!
    We’ll plot out the lodging details and all this stuff later.
    (So far the personalities here are PRICELESS!)

    Lambchop… expecting a call from your illustrious cousin any second now.

  18. Um …. gotta be tough to be from Philly?

    Gee. News to me. 🙂

    :::wondering if this is the right moment to mention that I grew up in that very misunderstood place:::

  19. Okay, I’ve seen the commercials and know of the heart shaped beds and heart shaped hot tubs but *vibrating* heart shaped beds?? Say it isn’t so! That would be way too much for my poor little brain.

  20. Maybe we just know different types of people. Most of the folks I know wouldn’t say the smack they write on the internet. That’s just been my exposure, though.

    I like the fund idea. Very Jay and Silent Bob-esque. 🙂

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