Why I’m such a jerk.

I’m not only a jerk, but I’m damn good at it.

Hell, I’m better at it than you’ll EVER be, BAY-BEEE. Wait, better yet, I’m on a professional level of jerkiness!!! Batgrl didn’t knickname me The Vortex Of Mischief™ for nothing, ya know.

I sucked you all in, and I played you like a Stradivarius. Again. :0)

To demonstrate, I’ve brought along a little visualization for your feeble minds to fully comprehend and appreciate the sheer magnitude of … of… the Grand Jerkdom that stands before you. As of 11:58 PM tonight, my Sitemeter stats:

 

See? I'm not even afraid to SHOW you my pathetic stats!

Good writing and content, my @$$! Disasters and catastrophes are what the people want, by gum!!! So spare me the crap that none of you are here for my antics, flame wars and train wrecks, ok? The visits quadrupled because of heckling day.

I also met a lot of cool new people, got bitchslapped by Sara, Diz, Venomous Kate, and Davezilla and we all had fun…

54 hilarious comments, and 8 trackbacks. For a minute there, I REALLY thought I WAS the Princess of the Blogiverse™. *sniffles* *adjusts tiara*

It’s all about the EGO, baybee!

EricBrooks.Com® – Admit it. You wanna be just like me when I grow up.

18 replies on “Why I’m such a jerk.”

  1. Most definitely Eric, My new aim in life is to be just like you — I want to be a mean and nasty SOB… write crap like you did today, ok, yesterday… but I didn’t have time to sit here and post, so have to catch up! BOO! GET OFF YOUR BLOG!!!! YOU SUCK!!!
    You have been officially heckled on International Heckling Day.
    No, you were heckled. Do not try to come back with something clever, or I shall return to heckle you some more.

  2. oops… I just looked at the comments to that post and I guess I did heckle you.. so, time to wish you a warm and fuzzy lovely day! (how’s that for a change of pace!)

  3. You da uberjerk, man! You da most inventive, da sugar daddy of comments, you’re better dan Winer, Ito and Searls together, man! You leave Locke in da dust!

  4. Faith,

    Sounding like TGO is one of the highest honors around. you should know, look how badly you idolize him.

    hell your fat ass probably wants him (and who can blame you for that)

  5. -=e=- is offended that you would dare compare -=e=- to TGO! -=e=- is -=e=-! There can be only one -=e=-!!!!

    Everyone wants to be -=e=- (I mean, who wouldn’t?).

    You’re comparing green apples to yellow apples, Faith.

  6. Hey, stop that TGO… now everyone’s gonna think we’re the same person! Yeesh!
    *runs to throw himself out of an open window*

  7. Venomous Kate: Wooooo, I’m flattered you remember! Bring it on, sugar…. and you don’t have to go easy on me. I’m not a pansy like Acidman :0)

    TGO: Of course it ain’t the end… it’ll NEVER end!!! Muh-hu-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!

    Ren: Well, to be honest I’m expecting Robyn to come in here any minute now and slap me upside the head for playing with her tiara and impersonating royalty.

    Camilo: You rock dude!!! *pauses reverently at the mention of Dave Winer & genuflects*

    John: Attention day, hmmmm…. I thought EVERY day was “attention day” for these bloggers?

  8. Pingback: The (mis)Adventures of Spreegirl

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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions.

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