You can’t quit… you’re fired!

I was brought to mind a funny little story about me a few years back.

I worked for a bank in Manhattan. Part of my job was hopping across town on a train and picking up a suitcase full of cancelled checks. To make a long story short I found myself once getting off the train…

… and forgetting to take the suitcase with me. Half a million dollars worth of returned checks on its way to the Bronx. Buh-bye.

Well, in my 19 year old mind, I pretty much reason that I’m screwed, right? If I go back to work, there will be a closed-door-mother-of-all-reamings in it it for me. The “how can you be so irresponsible?”s, yadda, yadda, yadda…. whatever.

So, I quit. Right then and there on the train station.

My next visit was to my friend, who worked at the employment agency that got me the job. I let him know all hell was about to break loose… his boss should be getting a call FROM my (unknowingly-ex) boss any minute now.

He packed his desk up, and we hauled ass back home to Brooklyn.

Three days later my cousin drops by to let me know my (unknowingly-ex) job called, as there’s talk of pressing charges, first thinking something happened to me, and then coming to the conclusion I stole a suitcase full of useless paper.

Time to face the music, I suppose. While trembling in fear on the phone with my (unknowingly-ex) supervisor… I have to admit the old bat was calmer than I thought when I explained what happened.

She then informed me that she’s left with no choice but to fire me. (???)

Silly me, I thought I quit.
But hey, you know me. I’m not gonna argue. I find a silver lining in everything. I brought their letter of termination to unemployment and had a great care-free summer without worrying about finding another job for at least six months.


Of course, if I allowed some of you dumbasses the priviledge to comment on this, you’d tell me stupid shit like “here’s what I would have done if I were you…”, right?

Well, nanny-nanny poo-poo on you:
1) There’s no more comments.
2) You’re not me, are you?

I’ve pretty much had enough of your “perfection”, your self-righteousness, your judgement… and most of all, your 20/20 hindsight, blogland. Especially in light of recent events where people can take a post on a forum… (you know, the one where I quit playing a certain game, said some stupid remark in a moment of anger, and the guy posted in his forum that he threw me out for being a “racist”? A charge so ridiculous that even the trolls had to concede that and downgraded me to merely a “bigot” in their attacks. Ring any bells?)

Most of the people that come here are pretty intelligent, but for the handful of retards that cover up their flaws with self-righteousness… do you see where I’m going with this?

Probably not. So why beat the dead horse?

Simply put… to the two people who have posted their two cents on the matter, ignored the obvious (like taking the word of an asshole that you don’t know FROM adam, on a post in a forum full of lies that shouldn’t have been posted to begin with… since I QUIT, and was not thrown out.), and hides behind their credentials as “experts” on the matter:

Well, I tried to be good-natured and humorous about it. I’m, quite frankly, tired of being the “bigger person”… as you have CLEARLY shown (or neglected to mention your posts) that apologies, taking responsibility for your actions… really add up to jack shit in the wild and wonderful world of blogs. It’s a sign of weakness. Something to justify pointing your high-powered hypocritical fingers at.

You’re not ready for someone who is upfront and candid with his thoughts. Admit it. You obviously know everything, don’t you? You want to hurt, generalize, judge, and hang a label on everything. Hey, I do it too. We all have our moments of hypocrisy sometimes.

It brings to mind another shining moment in blogland that I’ve never quite got over. One where my very “friends” (whom I had just stood up for not long before that) decided to take the word of a madwoman… and suddenly any good I did was erased, and these “friends” suddenly decided I had no redeemable qualities whatsoever, as I was trashed everywhere I turned.

I don’t recall any loud & public apologies FROM anyone on that either. Just more names and scars that I guess I need to shut up and “handle.” You have the right to your opinions, and I have the right not to forgive you for them.

You weren’t there. You’re not me. And (apparently) you don’t know me very well… but hey why should that stop you and your episodes of brilliance on your blogs?

I also have the choice NOT to see your self-righteous, not-knowing-the whole-story, finger-pointing crap anymore.


“WHUZZUP!” started on my rinky-dink XOOM site in April, 1998. There were no blogs back then… it’s sole purpose was to inform visitors “What’s up on the site”.

It’s time to get back to that, and step away FROM all the “perfect” people.
The intelligent people understand what I’m saying…. And I hope you stick around. But I can’t keep taking beatings for everyone’s amusement. I really do have better things to do.

Consider this your “divorce papers”, blogland. Take down your links to this site, please.

It’s not you. It’s me.

No. Not really… it was definitely you.

Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions.