Tag: alexandria occasio-cortez

Democrats Vote Unanimously to Remove One Hour From American Lives This Weekend

Posted on by Eric Brooks

One less hour would make up for the deficit, says Occasio-Cortez.

Democrats vote to remove one hour off American lives
Those dirty bums!

Washington (AP) – On Friday, House Democrats made a surprise vote. It was such a surprise, Republicans didn’t even know to show up.

The vote was a proposal by rising-star Alexandria Occasio-Cortez. Remove an hour from everyone’s lives to help offset the deficit. “You’ve heard the saying ‘Time is Money,’ right?,” Occasio-Cortez announced, “Well what if we cut one hour out and used that money to offset our staggering deficit? It would relieve some of the debt our constituents are burdened with. Plus, they’ll be sleeping, they’ll never miss it!”

As expected, the decision was unanimous without any Republicans present to “screw it all up, just because”.

An outraged President Trump tweeted that the Democrats have “gone too far,” and promised to restore that hour back to Americans in September, just before the next election.

When asked if there are any special movies this weekend AOC planned on seeing, the young congressperson responded: “The last movie I went to see was called ‘Closed For Rennovations’. It was very noisy and I couldn’t follow the plot with all these construction workers moving around and talking. It was stupid”.

Eric Brooks

Musician, Programmer, Graphic Designer, Evil Clown - A thorn in the Internet's side since 1997 with no intention of stopping any time soon.

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Sunday Musings: Stupid People

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Alexandia Occasio-Cortez
Politics are about to become a whole lot funnier.

When I was a teen, I was a volunteer at the Ridgewood-Bushwick Senior Center in Brooklyn. We helped the elderly with food deliveries, help shopping, clean, deliver things. Make their lives easier.

I was very disappointed in the lack of wisdom my elders had. You watch any TV show, and a wise old geezer appears and says the one magical thing to give our hero a second change to win. Real life? PHHHLLLPPPH! They were just basic meat and potatoes kinds of people. Their whole life was: Wake up, go to work, come home, have dinner, fall asleep watching Johnny Carson. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

No real gems to pass on to the next generation. Nothing to explain how life works, or the complexities of Human Nature, not even an explanation of why the drive-thru ATM buttons have braille on them.

One of them did advise me to “not get old”. Did I listen? NOOOOOoooooo…. 🙁

Now I see people my age, middle aged, rapidly approaching seniors, and they are passing on tweets from some Millenial Tumblrina as if she has all the answers, but she’s just mad at her daddy, and the woman forwarding it with “So much this!” added is just a bitter spinster mad that her husband left her for a younger version of herself. She thinks because she is young, she has her fingers on the pulse on the future, as if we are entering a new Age of Enlightenment. It’s just a ridiculously over-sensitive time.

We are trying to appear “progressive” and “open-minded” about issues like 57 genders, paying a carbon tax when you ALREADY pay taxes to live in the an Industrialized Society, fighting for the rights of Transgenders to pee in the stall next someone’s young daughter, when none of them asked for this as far as I know of. In fact, none of the transgender people I know in real life ever seemed to have an issue with finding a public bathroom to use.

Meanwhile those guys, that sported mascara and fishnets on college campuses three years ago, are now clean-cut, married, expecting their first kid and saying “OMG, GUYS! It was college and I was going through a phase!”

Life’s lessons never seem to touch certain people.

All the world’s knowledge is just a few taps away on their smartphones, yet we still have people that think the world is flat, afraid to vaccinate their kids, and think Lizards have enslaved the Human Race.

So I’m thinking maybe stupid kids, turn into stupid adults, and then stupid old people?

Who’d have thought?

Eric Brooks

Musician, Programmer, Graphic Designer, Evil Clown - A thorn in the Internet's side since 1997 with no intention of stopping any time soon.

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