{"id":114,"date":"2003-06-20T01:35:40","date_gmt":"2003-06-20T04:35:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/?p=114"},"modified":"2011-03-19T21:16:33","modified_gmt":"2011-03-20T02:16:33","slug":"why-im-such-a-jerk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I’m such a jerk."},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m not only a jerk<\/a>, but I’m damn good at it.<\/p>\n

Hell, I’m better at it than you’ll EVER be, BAY-BEEE. Wait, better yet, I’m on a professional<\/u> level of jerkiness!!! Batgrl<\/a> didn’t knickname me The Vortex Of Mischief™<\/b> for nothing, ya know.
\n
\nI sucked you all in, and I played you like a stradivarius. Again. :0)<\/p>\n

To demonstrate, I’ve brought along a little visualization for your feeble minds to fully comprehend and appreciate the sheer magnitude of … of… the Grand Jerkdom<\/b> that stands before you. As of 11:58 PM tonight, my Sitemeter stats:<\/p>\n

\"See?<\/center><\/p>\n

Good writing and content, my @$$!<\/b> Disasters and catastrophies are what the people want, by gum!!! So spare me the crap that none of you are here for my antics, flame wars and train wrecks, ok? The visits quadrupled because of heckling day.<\/p>\n

I also met a<\/a> lot<\/a> of<\/a> cool<\/a> new<\/a> people<\/a>, got bitchslapped by Sara<\/a>, Diz<\/a>, Venomous Kate<\/a>, and Davezilla<\/a> and we all had fun…<\/p>\n

54 hilarious comments, and 8 trackbacks. For a minute there, I REALLY thought I WAS the Princess of the Blogiverse™<\/a>. *sniffles* *adjusts tiara*<\/p>\n

It’s all about the EGO<\/a>, baybee!<\/p>\n

EricBrooks.Com™<\/b> – Admit it. You wanna be just like me when I grow up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Good writing and content, my @$$ Disasters and catastrophies are what the people want, by gum!!! So spare me the crap that none of you are here for my antics, flame wars and train wrecks, ok? The visits quadrupled because of heckling day. You want hits? You have to be obnoxious.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-as-the-web-burns"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy I'm such a jerk. - SoApBoX<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why I'm such a jerk. - SoApBoX\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Good writing and content, my @$$ Disasters and catastrophies are what the people want, by gum!!! So spare me the crap that none of you are here for my antics, flame wars and train wrecks, ok? The visits quadrupled because of heckling day. You want hits? You have to be obnoxious.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"SoApBoX\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"EricBrooksDotComWeb\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"EricBrooksDotComWeb\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2003-06-20T04:35:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-03-20T02:16:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/stats0619.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Eric Brooks\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@EricBrooksCom\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@EricBrooksCom\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Eric Brooks\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Eric Brooks\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#\/schema\/person\/8ff62df16d2105a698b2aa19323dca30\"},\"headline\":\"Why I’m such a jerk.\",\"datePublished\":\"2003-06-20T04:35:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2011-03-20T02:16:33+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/\"},\"wordCount\":205,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#\/schema\/person\/8ff62df16d2105a698b2aa19323dca30\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/stats0619.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"As The Web Burns\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/\",\"name\":\"Why I'm such a jerk. - SoApBoX\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/stats0619.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2003-06-20T04:35:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2011-03-20T02:16:33+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/stats0619.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/stats0619.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Why I’m such a jerk.\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/\",\"name\":\"SoApBoX\",\"description\":\"Rants and Raves of Eric Brooks. Low-tech whining in cyberspace...\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#\/schema\/person\/8ff62df16d2105a698b2aa19323dca30\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":[\"Person\",\"Organization\"],\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#\/schema\/person\/8ff62df16d2105a698b2aa19323dca30\",\"name\":\"Eric Brooks\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/eb_3d_logo-1.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/eb_3d_logo-1.png\",\"width\":190,\"height\":190,\"caption\":\"Eric Brooks\"},\"logo\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\"},\"description\":\"Musician, Programmer, Graphic Designer, Evil Clown - A thorn in the Internet's side since 1997 with no intention of stopping any time soon.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\",\"EricBrooksDotComWeb\",\"ericbrooksdotcom\",\"ericbrookscom\/\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/EricBrooksCom\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/author\/site-admin\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Why I'm such a jerk. - SoApBoX","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Why I'm such a jerk. - SoApBoX","og_description":"Good writing and content, my @$$ Disasters and catastrophies are what the people want, by gum!!! So spare me the crap that none of you are here for my antics, flame wars and train wrecks, ok? The visits quadrupled because of heckling day. You want hits? You have to be obnoxious.","og_url":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/","og_site_name":"SoApBoX","article_publisher":"EricBrooksDotComWeb","article_author":"EricBrooksDotComWeb","article_published_time":"2003-06-20T04:35:40+00:00","article_modified_time":"2011-03-20T02:16:33+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/stats0619.jpg"}],"author":"Eric Brooks","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@EricBrooksCom","twitter_site":"@EricBrooksCom","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Eric Brooks","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/"},"author":{"name":"Eric Brooks","@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#\/schema\/person\/8ff62df16d2105a698b2aa19323dca30"},"headline":"Why I’m such a jerk.","datePublished":"2003-06-20T04:35:40+00:00","dateModified":"2011-03-20T02:16:33+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/"},"wordCount":205,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#\/schema\/person\/8ff62df16d2105a698b2aa19323dca30"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/stats0619.jpg","articleSection":["As The Web Burns"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/","url":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/","name":"Why I'm such a jerk. - SoApBoX","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/stats0619.jpg","datePublished":"2003-06-20T04:35:40+00:00","dateModified":"2011-03-20T02:16:33+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/stats0619.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/stats0619.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/why-im-such-a-jerk\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Why I’m such a jerk."}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#website","url":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/","name":"SoApBoX","description":"Rants and Raves of Eric Brooks. Low-tech whining in cyberspace...","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#\/schema\/person\/8ff62df16d2105a698b2aa19323dca30"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":["Person","Organization"],"@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#\/schema\/person\/8ff62df16d2105a698b2aa19323dca30","name":"Eric Brooks","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/eb_3d_logo-1.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/eb_3d_logo-1.png","width":190,"height":190,"caption":"Eric Brooks"},"logo":{"@id":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/"},"description":"Musician, Programmer, Graphic Designer, Evil Clown - A thorn in the Internet's side since 1997 with no intention of stopping any time soon.","sameAs":["https:\/\/ericbrooks.com","EricBrooksDotComWeb","ericbrooksdotcom","ericbrookscom\/","https:\/\/x.com\/EricBrooksCom"],"url":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/author\/site-admin\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=114"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":299,"href":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114\/revisions\/299"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}