{"id":232,"date":"2009-09-03T20:04:22","date_gmt":"2009-09-04T01:04:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/?p=232"},"modified":"2017-04-30T01:48:32","modified_gmt":"2017-04-30T05:48:32","slug":"switzerland-hates-me-oh-thats-just-great","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/switzerland-hates-me-oh-thats-just-great\/","title":{"rendered":"Switzerland hates me? Oh that&#8217;s just GREAT!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Imagine waking up and finding out a whole country hates you&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Welcome to my world. I mean, I&#8217;m used to whole social networking sites deciding I&#8217;m a jerk (and yeah, I ask for it most of the time), but a whole country?<\/p>\n<p>I wake up one morning and take a harmless Facebook Quiz (which are ALWAYS 100% accurate) to get this result:<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/images\/screenshots\/swiss_h8me.jpg\" \/><\/div>\n<p>Well screw me sideways! Are you kidding me? \ud83d\ude41<\/p>\n<p>*sigh* As an American, you&#8217;d think I&#8217;d be used to this. Ever since the internet age, I&#8217;ve been constantly bombarded with messages by nasty foreigners who can&#8217;t stand us. Let&#8217;s face it&#8230; YES, we (Americans) are loud and obnoxious&#8230; and we LOVE a good war! Especially the ones where we&#8217;ll kick your 3rd world ass in 5 days or less.<\/p>\n<p>Most of these countries are just asking for it&#8230; and their only saving grace is we can&#8217;t find most of them on the map yet&#8230; so keep running your mouths, ok?<\/p>\n<p>Now I haven&#8217;t contacted the State Department over this insult (YET!!!). After seeing that the Swiss are basically armed with&#8230;<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/i704.photobucket.com\/albums\/ww42\/lucad822\/swiss-army-knife.jpg\" \/><br \/>\n<small>OK&#8230; the corkscrew part does scare me a little bit&#8230;<\/small><\/div>\n<p>&#8230; I&#8217;m pretty sure I can take this country over with my daughter&#8217;s Girl Scout troop.<\/p>\n<p>Why hasn&#8217;t anyone else ever thought of taking over Switzerland and giving them a swift kick in their Liederhosen? Bastards.<\/p>\n<p>I found this while researching my new enemies&#8230;.<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\">\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Sick of the Swiss\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/i2XTuc6i1Uo?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div style=\"background-color: #c0c0c0; padding: 10px; border: dotted medium #000011; text-align: left;\"><strong><big>Sick of the Swiss<\/big><\/strong><br \/>\nUploaded on Mar 3, 2007<br \/>\nThe Kids in the Hall don&#8217;t like the Swiss, and for good reason! Commenters: Please note that this is a comedy sketch, the KitH are not really sick of the Swiss.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>I can&#8217;t believe they needed to post some disclaimer &#8220;Please note that this is a comedy sketch, the KitH are not really sick of the Swiss.&#8221;, are these people THAT whiny? That didn&#8217;t stop the FLOOD of anti-American rhetoric in the comments.<\/p>\n<p>Funny thing is&#8230; the Kids in the Hall were CANADIAN.<\/p>\n<p>Yeah, we&#8217;re used to that too. Canada is like the 12 year old kid living in the floor above you starting shit by throwing water balloons out the window, but the soaking-wet &amp; angry people come to US on the first floor because they&#8217;re just too pissed off and lazy to think.<\/p>\n<p>(This, of course, makes Central &amp; South America as living in our basement. A very crowded basement&#8230; filled with every Hispanic stereotype and joke you can come up with in the comments&#8230; but I digress&#8230;)<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m currently searching for Switzerland on Google Maps, scanning through Southeast Asia trying to get a lock on them. And when I do&#8230;YOUR ASS IS MINE, SWITZERLAND!<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/6730_128318622396_671447396_3002511.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<p><small>Made by the One and Only <strong>Smart Ass Blog Kamikaze<\/strong>&#8230; who is back, bitchez!<\/small><\/div>\n<fieldset>\n<legend><b>BONUS: Challenge by C.C.<\/b><\/legend>\n<p><b><small>(Sung to the tune of &#8220;My Favorite Things&#8221;)<\/small><\/b><br \/>\n<small><em><br \/>\nChocolates, and Zurich, and fake Rolex watches&#8230;<br \/>\nI wanna kick all the Swiss in their crotches&#8230;<\/em><\/small><\/p>\n<p><small><em>Swiss Miss can play with <strong>Geko&#8217;s<\/strong> ding-a-ling&#8230;<br \/>\nThese are a few of my least favorite things&#8230;<\/em><\/small><\/fieldset>\n<p><span style=\"color: #cc0000; font-size: medium;\"><b>Aren&#8217;t they supposed to be a &#8216;Neutral&#8217; Country?<br \/>\nWhat is their PROBLEM with me????<br \/>\n<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Imagine waking up and finding out a whole country hates you&#8230; Welcome to my world. I mean, I&#8217;m used to whole social networking sites deciding I&#8217;m a jerk (and yeah, I ask for it most of the time), but a whole country?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-232","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-latest"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Switzerland hates me? 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