{"id":53,"date":"2002-02-25T05:47:48","date_gmt":"2002-02-25T08:47:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/?p=53"},"modified":"2011-06-02T10:33:56","modified_gmt":"2011-06-02T14:33:56","slug":"how-to-really-write-a-better-weblog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/how-to-really-write-a-better-weblog\/","title":{"rendered":"How to REALLY write a better weblog&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Life is like a package of twinkies&#8230;<br \/>\nLook too close at the ingredients, realize what kind of shit you&#8217;re putting in your system, and you won&#8217;t enjoy enjoy junk food no more&#8230;.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8211; Forrest Brooks &#8211;<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes it&#8217;s better not to look too close at things, knowhutImeanVern?<\/p>\n<p>I did it&#8230; after commenting all over the place, I finally caved in and read <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/www.alistapart.com\/articles\/writebetter\/\" target=\"offsite\">How to Write a Better Weblog<\/a>. Now I actually know what I&#8217;m talking about.<\/p>\n<p>I won&#8217;t waste my time with what I think was so wrong &amp; offensive about it.  To me, this was the *writer&#8217;s opinion* of what *he liked* in a weblog &amp; I guess what was so offensive was his arrogant stance, expecting *you* to conform to *his* tastes and standards&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t change a thing, people&#8230; don&#8217;t make me come though your screen and bitchslap you!<br \/>\n<!--more--><br \/>\nWhat makes a successful weblog?  Hell if I know. They&#8217;re digital extensions of the people writing them.  They can only be as exciting\/boring as the people writing them&#8230; and people come in all flavors. I can only tell you what I like\/don&#8217;t like.<\/p>\n<p>I stress, this is ONLY my opinion:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Turn offs<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Talking incessantly (and *only* talking) about yourself.<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Do I really fucking care what you watched on tv? Your new couch? The color, size and texture of your pet&#8217;s latest dump?<\/li>\n<li><strong>Constant whining<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Oh Jesus! Can things *really be that bad*???? Rather than harp in this poor guy&#8217;s comment box and convince him that perhaps suicide *IS* the answer in this case, I&#8217;ll just come back in a few months, ok? (Yeah, I know&#8230; look who&#8217;s talking, here!)<\/li>\n<li><strong>The latest New York Times\/USA Today\/Reuters Article and a commentary<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Look, I know some people enjoy this &amp; that&#8217;s cool&#8230; but I spend 8\u00e2\u20ac\u201c26 hours a day in a newsroom, I wanna come home and see a girl blogging in her underwear &amp; forgetting that her cam is still on, okay?<\/li>\n<li><strong>YOU&#8217;RE BORING!<\/strong> Ironically, these are the same people that want a massive following, hound you for links, and get offended if you don&#8217;t mention them in every post&#8230; *SIGH*<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>To further illustrate my point, I offer a *small* list of places I like and why&#8230; these are sites I have to hit the second I&#8217;m online, and if I left you out&#8230; that doesn&#8217;t mean I don&#8217;t love you. (Cripes, I can&#8217;t take the thin\u00e2\u20ac\u201cskinned, fragile psyches of you crybabies anymore&#8230;SHEESH!!!!)<strong><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Good Blogging:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Hoopty Loops<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Well, &#8217;cause Hoopty&#8217;s a whackjob pervert, just like me. He also shines the spotlight on as many people as possible. (Take notes&#8230; that is an important formula to success&#8230; people like to see their names on other people&#8217;s weblogs.)<\/li>\n<li><strong>BobtheCorgi<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c She is such a goof ball!  She paints a visual picture of her life that makes you feel like you&#8217;re right there.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Undisturbed<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Faith makes me homesick.  She displays the imagery of New York City the way I remember it.  The lights, the cold, the grime, the attitudes.  The good and the bad&#8230; if the NYC public school system wouldn&#8217;t eat my kids alive, I&#8217;d run back in a heartbeat!<\/li>\n<li><strong>Negative Subspace<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Nicolas writes from the heart, and you can feel the sincerity.  He&#8217;s a cool guy, much like a lot of my childhood friends that I used to hang with.  He&#8217;s had it bad, suffering quite a few health problems, yet he does it with his chin up and hopeful.  He reminds me of a &#8220;non\u00e2\u20ac\u201cjaded, non\u00e2\u20ac\u201cevil&#8221; version of myself.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Sometimes I&#8230;<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c You never know what to expect from Deb when you go to her page.  It can be about her workout, Starbucks, her kids, a Trixie Belden story, or a new webcam shot (and let&#8217;s face it&#8230; she&#8217;s a looker!)  She&#8217;s so demure and so fucking hot at the same time.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Batgrl\/Houseguru\/Kittybat<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c She is just too cute!  A mystery wrapped around an enigma, which keeps me coming back for more&#8230; always something going on at her site, linking to lots of people and things.  Lots of personality&#8230; She&#8217;ll do anything to keep you distracted and not realize she&#8217;s a college professor with more brains than you &amp; I put together, mixed with the deadly combination of being drop\u00e2\u20ac\u201cdead gorgeous.  But she&#8217;d rather you like her for *HER* rather than what she looks like&#8230; I don&#8217;t know.  I just can&#8217;t get enough of her.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Don&#8217;t Mind Me<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c On the rare occasions that Kare actually writes something&#8230; it&#8217;s worth reading!  Whether it&#8217;s a moron customer, StupidParents that think her store is a daycare center, or her latest troubles&#8230; she doesn&#8217;t waste your time with bullshit filler posts.  Behind the scenes, I can tell you she&#8217;s an amazing woman, that had to overcome a horrible childhood.  I assume her sarcasm &amp; wit is what&#8217;s kept her sane this whole time.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Davezilla<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c I&#8217;m not buying the theory that Mr. Linabury is an actual human being.  There is no physical way one mere mortal (or even a Web God&#8230;) can put up the tons of spoofs, satires, anagrams, and all the other hilarious hijinks&#8230; pure entertainment every time!  Warning: You are NOT Davezilla.  Do not attempt to be Davezilla without a trained crew of stuntmen and paramedics nearby.<\/li>\n<p><strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">The rest of you<\/span>:<\/strong> I love you and don&#8217;t bitch that I didn&#8217;t include you on that list.  It was a short list of weblogs that I like, and a brief explanation of why I like them.  As you can see, they don&#8217;t follow any of the rules as specifically laid out in &#8220;<strong>How to write a better weblog<\/strong>&#8221;  There are tons more, but that is as meaningless as the hookers that wont come to my house because I live out in the middle of nowhere&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>&#8230; and I keep giving them fake credit cards over the phone.<\/p>\n<p>Just be yourselves, okay? You promise?<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why people continue to criticize something that they KNOW is done by thin-skinned wimps is beyond me.  Maybe there&#8217;s money in it? There are tons of hints and books out about &quot; How to Blog&quot;.  Just read my tips.  They&#8217;re free.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-53","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-old-skewl"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to REALLY write a better weblog... - SoApBoX<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/how-to-really-write-a-better-weblog\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to REALLY write a better weblog... - SoApBoX\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Why people continue to criticize something that they KNOW is done by thin-skinned wimps is beyond me. 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