{"id":539,"date":"2017-09-11T12:58:56","date_gmt":"2017-09-11T16:58:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/?p=539"},"modified":"2017-09-11T16:15:49","modified_gmt":"2017-09-11T20:15:49","slug":"americans-share-their-brave-911-stories","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/americans-share-their-brave-911-stories\/","title":{"rendered":"Americans Share Their Brave 9\/11 Stories How They Watched Television All Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"SoApBoX\"<\/a> Citizens all over America will recall their ‘Where were you when September 11th Attacks Happened?’ moments on social media today… usually starting with someone telling them ‘Hey, Quick, turn on the tv!!!’<\/strong><\/p>\n

While this is clearly the ‘Where Were You When Kennedy Was Shot?’ for GenX’ers and GenY’ers, surely they can’t possibly think it’s merciful to subject their friends to paragraphs of mundane details about their lives surrounding this event, is it?<\/p>\n

Look, we get it. You want to infuse yourselves into the story like Jack and Rose in ‘Titanic’, but that was fictional.<\/p>\n

Also, they did exciting stuff while all this was going down.<\/p>\n

Also, they got laid.<\/p>\n

\n
\"\"<\/a>
Jack and Rose talk about their future as Jack slowly dies of hypothermia. C’est l’amour!<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

Most of the really great stories will probably never be told.<\/strong> For the people who lost family, were first responders, or witnesses to the people jumping to their deaths or being covered in a cloud of asbestos, sheetrock, and pulverized human remains… It was too much. They don’t want to talk about it. They still don’t.<\/p>\n

So that left the people online seeking attention, and who later, worried that Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein would crash a plane into their midwestern county fair next.<\/p>\n

Fast-Forward, to 2031: These overly-narcissistic senior citizen ex-bloggers regale the story of their glory days to their grand children in the Sunnydale Nursing Home…<\/strong><\/p>\n

“So there I was on this beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky, when my mother called and said ‘QUICK TURN ON THE TV!’, and there it was…”<\/p>\n

“Incredible, grandma! So what happened next?”<\/p>\n

“Nothing, I just watched it on tv. It was the only thing running day and night.”<\/p>\n

“Yes, but what did you do afterwards, did you join the army to fight them like great-great grandpa did in World War 2?”<\/p>\n

\"Grandma<\/a>
“OMG GRANDMA! WHY DO I EVEN PAY FOR YOUR OXYGEN TANK??!?”<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

“No. I told you, I watched this horror on tv. My world was changed forever. I made Facebook posts about it.”<\/p>\n

“Did you go to NYC and help as a first responder?”<\/p>\n

“NO! I WAS HORRIFIED BY WATCHING IT ON TV, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME???”<\/p>\n

“Please tell me you at least donated blood!”<\/p>\n

*BLANK STARE*<\/p>\n

“UGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Citizens all over America will recall their 'Where were you when September 11th Attacks Happened' moments on social media today… usually starting with someone telling them 'Hey, Quick, turn on the tv!!!'<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":543,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[53,63,65,35,34,55,68,59,60,54,62,57,69,70,52,58,64,66,67,61,56],"class_list":["post-539","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-latest","tag-53","tag-afghanistan","tag-al-qaeda","tag-blogger","tag-blogging","tag-george-w-bush","tag-history","tag-new-york","tag-nyc","tag-osama-bin-laden","tag-pennsylvania","tag-pentagon","tag-politics","tag-satire","tag-september-11-2001","tag-shanksville","tag-terror","tag-terrorism","tag-united-states","tag-washington-dc","tag-world-trade-center"],"yoast_head":"\nAmericans Share Their Brave 9\/11 Stories How They Watched Television All Day - 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