{"id":65,"date":"2002-04-12T19:30:05","date_gmt":"2002-04-12T22:30:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/?p=65"},"modified":"2002-04-12T19:30:05","modified_gmt":"2002-04-12T22:30:05","slug":"night-of-the-idiot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/soapbox\/night-of-the-idiot\/","title":{"rendered":"Night of the Idiot"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;OMG!!! She was so ugly, she looked like she was just hit with a hot bag of &#8216; What the Fuck &#8216;&#8230;!!!!!!&#8221;<\/p>\n<div align=center>&#8211; Overheard yesteday from a 16 year old with a mohawk. &#8211;<\/div>\n<p>Well, my first day as a <B>Mutated Self-Aware Computer Virus<\/B> didn&#8217;t go as well as I had hoped. The first thing I learned is that you can&#8217;t expect to wipe out 120,000 hard drives when you pass yourself along in an email with the subject: &#8220;I&#8217;M A VIRUS!!!! CLICK ME, YOU ASSHOLE!!!&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Ok.  Three people on AOL fell for it.<\/p>\n<p>The Next trip was trying to cheer up poor, sickly, <A HREF=\"http:\/\/www.houseogroove.com\/cuppa\/\" target=\"offsite\">KittyBat<\/A>, who had her first <B>BatChat<\/B> last night.  The instructions were really hard for <s>morons<\/s>people to follow, so I made a loverly graphic, with even more specific instructions. (<A HREF=\"http:\/\/linkmeister.simpleeme.com\/blog\/\" target=\"offsite\">LinkMeister<\/A> did the same on the <A HREF=\"http:\/\/zlist.blogspot.com\" target=\"offsite\">Z-List Blog<\/A>)<\/p>\n<p>Problem is it took me so damn long, that by the time I was done posting it, everyone went home.<BR>But it was a pretty nice turn out. Even if they were all nervous because, well, a virus was in the chat room flirting with them.<\/p>\n<p>Then next stop was <A HREF=\"http:\/\/www.hooptymike.com\/sicksider\/\">The SickSider&#8217;s<\/A> new home&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>I didn&#8217;t mean to do it&#8230;<br \/>\nEveryone was having fun with the Microsoft-proprietary &#8220;Marquee&#8221; tag.  So I did it. &#8216;cept I forgot to close my tag, and poor Kimberly&#8217;s entire page was whizzing all over the place and no one else could comment!<\/p>\n<p>I wasn&#8217;t even worth a writeup on SARC.<\/p>\n<p>All the other trojans &#038; worms were teasing me and calling me a &#8220;hoax&#8221;&#8230;.  :0(<\/p>\n<p>It was more like &#8220;Night of the Idiot&#8221;.<br \/>\nGonna be a better virus tonight. Watch.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The adventure continues as I become a Mutated Self-Aware Computer Virus surfing the web.  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