Rejected Bloggie Categories

From the home office in Sioux City Iowa…
“Rejected Bloggie Categories” – For some reason, Nicolai Nolan just didn’t feel like adding them, despite my spams, e-mail bombs, and threats of “something really, REALLY bad” happening to his cat:
And they are…

  • Best Blog by a washed-up child actor
  • Best blog by a space cadet aboard the Starship Enterprise
  • Best meme by a guy too cheap to take his wife out to dinner
  • Most comments for eating a sandwich
  • Best blog by a child actor who DIDN’T do time with Todd Bridges
  • Most comments for taking a dump with corns in it
  • Best blog by a guy whose initials are “WW”
  • Best blog by a guy who stared at Beverly Crusher’s hooters a little TOO much for a “tv son”…
  • Best blog by someone who thanks God every day Rick Berman or William “fucking” Shatner didn’t read him before being cast in “Nemesis”
  • And the Number ONE rejected blog category….

  • 2002 WINNER: Most Likely To Be Seen On COPSBest blog by a guy who doesn’t know that 99% of his footage was cut FROM Nemesis because -e- has Rick Berman’s and William “fucking” Shatner’s email addys PLUS all the links to where Wil Wheaton was talking smack about them.

heh heh…

*groan, bitch, whine*

Sorry about the two-day absence here… a series of work-related crises is going on which has required at least 48 hours of me.

Not to mention that I think that Kat and Nico have passed their back problems to me. Bastards. It’s a wonder I don’t wake the whole house up with my screams, trying to get out of bed at 3AM!

Not saying any of you guys give a rat’s ass about any on this… just filling you in. :0)

Curse me and my penis!!!!

**// A reprint FROM December 18th, 2001. It’s my homage to female designers on the web.

The madness and mayhem begins when I successfully tap INTO my “inner-woman” for help in a design project… unfortunately, our young hero discovers that his “inner-woman” is a psycho headcase with PMS (joy!).

Dedicated to Jann, and Deb… who can use some cheering up today. //**

Wet yo’ pants, candyass!

Can we talk?

Wow! It seems the Trolls had a field day this week. Nico took down pictures, Michele scrapped her 2002 Most intriguing Bloggers project. wKen had to remove comments off his photo site, and Solonor has been taking shit FROM the Muther Farkers resonsible for it. And, in Wil Whatizname’s defense… spoke out against what happened to wKen.

(Speaking of which, I see my homegurl took Wil outside for a private spanking, yesterday. YOU GO GIRL!)

Well, isn’t that ALL a fine, howdy do?
As Michele once said: “How come the people with the biggest opinions and loudest mouths are always anonymous?”
Continue reading “Wet yo’ pants, candyass!”

Those crappy 70’s songs!

Wanted: Male volunteers FROM the studio audience.
Because: There are four very SADISTIC women running rampant on this site in dire need of a serious SPANKING!

Remember the 70’s? The sun shined so damn bright everyone had to squint? Everything was yellow and/or orange? The goddamned “happy face guy”????
Continue reading “Those crappy 70’s songs!”

It is an OUTRAGE, an OUTRAGE, I tell ya!!!

Ladies and gentlemen…

I rarely ask anything of you.
I probably should have spoken up when they deliberately named the latest Lord Of The Rings movie “The Two Towers“… Exploiting the tragedy of September 11th, so Hollywood can make a few extra bucks!!!!

But we have time now… Stop the making of “Return of The King”!!!!
Join the protest. Read every page.

HAVEN’T WE, AS AMERICANS, SUFFERED ENOUGH????

(Solonor contributed to this scandalous exclusive story.)

A moment of your time, jerkoff…

**//.. An ambiguous post. I don’t normally do this stuff. ..//**

So much for trying to let it go.
I should have known better, when the beginning of every month it starts up like a flare of PMS. Over and over.

You know, for someone who “isn’t going to play”… That’s TWICE now.

Twice I have been to someone’s comments and there you are talking your shit. I’m trying really hard to figure out if you’re just an idiot that believes all the lies of a one-sided story, as quite a few people were temporarily fooled FROM their emotional outbursts… or you’re just an asshole committed to perpetuating the lies out of loyalty to your insane friends. You know… one lies, and the others cover for it?

“Abused children who grew up to become the abusers.”

Someone posted that anonymously somewhere about you guys.
Whoever you are, I thank you FROM the bottom of my heart. You’ve hit the nail on the head with this particular group.

You folks have become the people you’ve hated the most. The ones who’ve hurt you, raped you, abused you, beaten you, verbally berrated you, and ignored your pleas for help.

Congratulations. You’re one of them now. You must be beaming with pride.
Continue reading “A moment of your time, jerkoff…”

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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.


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