What's new at EricBrooks.Com plus news and gossip all over CyberTown
I mean… someone should make a network, call it “BlogBuddies™” or something. There’s enough people out there with my home/work numbers that you can easily find out about me… you know, in case all the people dancing in the streets isn’t enough of a clue.
The Princess™ has an inneresting meme going on: Songs that bring on major life changes. Michele’s playing, so that means all the cool kids have to play… and uhm, me too.
Let me channel my inner-Eminem OMMMMmmmmmmm….
Well, I would imagine that if they ever made Eric Brooks: The Movie, the soundtrack would be incomplete without Play That Funky Music (White Boy). That was me. With all the Brothers and Boricuas in Bushwick.
The BeeGees – Love So Right. It’s a major driving force in me. I decided as a kid, horrified by Barry Gibb whining about this heartbreak, that I would never let anyone that close to me. Ever. If anyone gets that close, I push them away. Love is for suckers anyway.
Continue reading “Soundtrack of your life”
To those in the Cabal of the hidden society of people who run the web (though we don’t exist)… I apologize for missing the meeting today and giving my monthly statistics and logistics report.
I get to the site to log in and this shit pops up on my screen. Telling me I’m being investigated, my ISP is cooperating and I have a big problem.
All because I went to a password-protected site???
Continue reading “Help me, you techie nerds!”
Being the glamorous International Web Superstar™ that she is… she even sings for us on her birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOBTHECORGI!!!!! (you nut, you.)
(To think, a little birdie even tipped me off yesterday, and I’m just posting this now. I SO suck!)
Say it with me, people: It was a stupid stuffed bunny, and nobody cares any more.
This is a classic case of at least three sides of a story. There’s person #1 who started a meme, person #2 who is now convinced that they are this horrible person that everyone is mad at…
And there’s my side of the story. Which, as always, is known as the “gospel truth”.
While, yes, it seems at face value that there’s no excuse for person #2 to still be holding on to a passing meme… and the selfish morons are bitching to person #1 about it.
Well, I happen to know that person #2’s life happens to be in shambles right now (it’s not my story to tell, but it’s pretty bad). Perhaps mailing this retarded stuffed animal isn’t top priority in their mind right now. Ya think?
Of course, you can count on the web to be totally devoid of compassion, or sympathy, or even cutting someone a little slack.
Continue reading “Memes and morons”
And the prodigal son comes home…
Here’s 2-Tag trying to climb in our windows as he smells dinner cooking. He’s just too cute!
(What were you expecting… a widdle puppy or a kitty cat…ON MY SITE??? That’s it. Fuck you, you’re banned FROM this site for 3 months and two 1/2 days. LEAVE NOW!)
Continue reading “Summer’s here”
This topic is closed… I’ve decided it’s not worth talking about anymore.
We’ll resume the “light & fluffy” topics and the no-brainers like “how much of a bigot is trent lott”, or “how much of a poon hound was clinton”, or “how bad can bush butcher the english language” at a later date.
Real issues have no place here on this site. I thought after I was in the clear, and was able to stop talking in riddles, people would understand the whole CPS situation in this country.
Instead, I find myself looking at rape victims, driven to tears, insisting that they “didn’t ask for it” to a skeptical crowd with raised eyebrows… and me sympathizing with their frustration.
Maybe I’m still not talking clearly. I don’t know. Screw it.
But I can’t waste any more time on a subject no one is interested in.
For those who missed it, I gave the Democrats a swift kick in the balls, and talked about stuff. I *WAS* going to discuss the May 20th Primary here in the Poconos, and the (even higher) importance of local government in our lives… but that has no place here.
Yeah. Ok. Light & fluffy coming up.
I see a very disturbing trend, and I feel it needs to be addressed immediately.
I’ve given this a lot of thought ever since I was fired an angry letter FROM Ida Slapter, of the activist GROUP Blondes Irritated by Members Bashing Others (B.I.M.B.O.), regarding a joke I cracked about blondes on this site.
Yeah… ok. Redheads are evil, Blondes are dumb, et cederin. I get it. Stereotypes.
I am a blond (or at least what’s left of my hair after 11 years of marriage to a “bottle redhead”). okay?
The stereotype of blondes being stupid. I hate it! I hate it SO MUCH!
Blonde Jokes offend the hell out of me. The punchlines are laced with so many big words… guess what, asshole?
I DON’T GET IT!!! THEY’RE NOT FUNNY!!!
(I should not have to break out a thesaurus to find out what a “Breathalyzer” is, you insensitive prick!)
Robyn has really brought this situation to a head, as she has kindly asked people to make more “Blonde-Friendly” buttons in their comments. I too have had the bitter experience of writing something, only to press a button that says “HIZAAT SO BIZZATCH”, only to see the window close, and my words gone for ever…
What if one day, someone posts the cure for cancer on a medical blog and that happens??? WHO’S GONNA SUFFER THEN, YOU CLEVER-ASS BIZZATCH???
Jewdez, also a blonde (but she went to collidge and speaks Latin so she’s REALLY smart), has taken this INTO consideration by putting very-detailed instructions inside parentheses (bracket-thingys)… I now have an increased 75% chance of getting a comment through on her site. The rest of you who continue to use hard-to-understand terms like “Hizzat so bizzatch”, “Expedite this profound soliloquy”, and “Submit”… suck my dick.
I propose the world employs more sensitivity to blondes by:
I mean, is it really too much to ask for, that MAYBE you can give us blondes the same consideration that you do OTHER special-interest groups? No one complains about waiting an extra half hour as a passenger is assisted in a wheelchair-accessible bus? (HUH-LOOOO??? They’re ALREADY on WHEELS?!?!?! Put straps on the back bumpers, and charge them half-price! Like, DUH!)
… or when they put braille on the buttons of drive-thru ATMs…
(Do I REALLY need to point out what I think is so WRONG and DISTURBING with that picture?)
We can ignore all the dumb handicapped people of the world… but blondes are all around you. And we have access to curling irons and staplers too. You better take a minute to think about that.
To SHOW I am VERY serious about this matter, I will throw in my full support to elect Dan Quayle as Pope in 2000! So there. How do you like them apples?
EricBrooks.Com® – Currently going back to school to become a veterinarian, ‘cuz he really loves children! *giggle*
But redheads REALLY are evil. It’s true.
… when you finally get your VERY FIRST cease and desist FROM a major corporation, since re-opening!
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Yes, you may congratulate me now. Somebody knows I’m ALIVE!!!)
Also…
There seemed a bit of a problem with a few people and the newsletter, a lot of returns came back. I’m going to resend (manually. don’t panic, Joe!) them to a few people and figure out what’s causing this glitch. Don’t think I forgot about you guys. What the hell a few new people subscribed in the past few days…. I’m feeling tres benevolent today!!!!
In other news…
Death, bloodshed, carnage, looting, violence, fires, disasters, cadavers, papercuts, starvation, State Police, Jennifer Wise is a fox, yadda, yadda, yadda
And how was *YOUR* day at work, honey?
Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.
