About me finally coming out of the closet

I (being one who refuses to be labeled) have finally given a name to my religion, and it is Deism.

(Wait. What closet did you think I was coming out of? WHOAH!!! I meant “spiritual” closet. I mean, not that there is anything wrong with the other closet, but I mean, you know, really… WHOAH!!!!)

Deism is about relying on reason, not faith.
Faith makes you do stupid things like trying to convert an unsaved lion to Christianity at the zoo, believing God has commissioned you to stalk Mel Gibson, or (my personal favorite) drinking cyanide-laced kool aid/have a standoff with the ATF because your beloved spiritual leader said so.

Continue reading “About me finally coming out of the closet”

The wild & wonderful world of Jack Chick

Don't fear the Reaper
I love Jack Chick, I really do. I find myself addicted to his tracts and his odd reasoning sometimes. He’s a great artist and he captures those unsaved people getting livid over hearing the name “Jesus Christ” like nobody else!

Basically there’s three ways to convert people to Christianity.

  • There’s the tried and true method of capturing and torturing them and their loved ones , until they accept Christ into their heathen lil’ hearts…(made popular during the Crusades and the inquisition)
  • There’s the rarely used tactic of actually practicing Christianity, loving your neighbor and showing acts of kindness to let them know that you are following Jesus’ principles…
  • Then there’s Jack Chick’s method. Put out a comic book that lets you know that a horrifying fate of eternal torment is waiting for you in Hell unless you accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour.
  • Basically it boils down to this with the Chick method:
    If you’re a Catholic… you’re going to hell
    If you watch Harry Potter…. you’re going to hell
    If you read any other Bible besides the King James version… you’re going to hell
    If you’re a mormon, freemason, buddhist, muslim… well, three guesses where you’re going? (The first two guesses don’t count).

  • Here is a parody where Jack Chick dies and faces judgment, like so many of the other characters he’s written about. It’s freakin’ hilarious!
  • Here are the rest of Weird Dave’s Chick Parodies… (Warning: Excessive laughter may cause damage to your computer screen if the operator is foolishly drinking a beverage. Be smart, don’t drink and surf parody sites!)
  • Church of the Subgenius steps in with a parody of “Somebody loves me”, in which the abused boy accepts “Bob” as his Lord and Saviour just before dying…
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