Can anybody please tell me the point of “Columbus Day”????

Leif Erickson and Amerigo Vespucci were here waaaay before him, and the so-called “Indians” also beat him here by, like, 40,000 years… so what’s the big deal? He set out for a shorter route to the Indies; and after months of his crew, living on a steady diet of vermin, going: “Uh…helloooooo..? You sure you did this ‘exploring/captain’ stuff before, pal??!!???… he lands on the other side of the planet.

The guy was a friggin’ moron. Simple as that.

And he didn’t land in what we would call “America” either. He landed somewhere in
(Oh, get this!) The WEST Indies.

Talk about covering up a SERIOUS FUCK-UP!!!!
It gives me hope that *I’LL* get a holiday someday.

So I’m hearing everyone wishing each other “Happy Columbus Day” today. And that’s it.

Now I feel like we should be doing something with this “third day off” besides winterizing our summer places. But what?

• Sit at a table and give thanks to the Lord that we screwed the Indians over… oh wait, that’s Thanksgiving.
• Give out gifts. But what? Fried Rats? A Compass?