{"id":378,"date":"2001-10-11T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2001-10-11T03:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/?p=378"},"modified":"2011-10-07T19:22:50","modified_gmt":"2011-10-08T00:22:50","slug":"bush-orders-air-strike-on-sesame-street","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/bush-orders-air-strike-on-sesame-street\/","title":{"rendered":"Bush orders air strike on Sesame Street"},"content":{"rendered":"<table border=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" cellpadding=\"6\" width=\"100\" align=\"right\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/bushbert.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"211\" height=\"174\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td><span class=\"fineprint\">Bush Addresses the Joint Chiefs of Staff on the latest assault against <a href=\"http:\/\/fractalcow.com\/bert\/bert.htm\" target=\"offsite\">Evil Muppet Bert<\/a>. (Shown here in a photo with Osama bin Laden in 1998)<\/span>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"disclaimer\"><strong>Photo: Associated Press<\/strong><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>WASHINGTON (AP) &#8211; In his vow to to &#8220;rid the world of evildoers, and punish those that harbor them&#8221;. President Bush signed an executive order to launch a surprise air attack on Sesame Street this morning.<\/p>\n<p>The attack was launched in retaliation against Bert, a muppet with ties to the Al-Qaeda terrorist network, several mob organizations, and feared thoughout the underworld as &#8220;That scary little furry guy&#8221;. The death toll is mounting of up to 150 muppets and rising. The toll may be higher, as correspondents are seeing fur, felt, and stuffing all in the ruins.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;But why attack all of us???&#8221;, cried a resident, who only wanted to be referred to as &#8220;Gina&#8221;, &#8220;we&#8217;re as terrified of Bert as the rest of the world&#8230; we&#8217;ve done nothing wrong&#8221;.<\/p>\n<table border=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" cellpadding=\"6\" width=\"200\" align=\"left\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/burtbangl.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"229\" height=\"202\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td><span class=\"fineprint\">Chilling evidence of Bert&#8217;s involvement in the latest terrorism attacks. In a rally in Bangladesh, 9\/10\/01, Bert is seen in a supportive poster.<\/span>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"disclaimer\"><strong>Photo: Reuters<\/strong><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>The main target was Mr. Hooper&#8217;s store, now in ruins. It was a suspected front for Bert&#8217;s operations.<\/p>\n<p>President Bush addressed the Joint Chiefs of Staff this morning, and was quoted in saying: &#8220;Make no mistake, this nation will not rest until this furry little bastard is turned into someone&#8217;s oven mitt&#8230;.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>There is no evidence of whether Bert survived the attack. Or was anywhere NEAR Sesame Street at the time.<\/p>\n<p>The President will address the Nation tonight at 9:30 PM (That&#8217;s when the little hand is on the 9, and the big hand is on the 6). To discuss this latest operation, entitled <strong>OPERATION: Nail the GODDAMN Sock Puppet<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Brought to you by the Letter &#8220;S&#8221;.<br \/>\nFor &#8220;SPECIAL FORCES (Psychological Operations)&#8221;<br \/>\nand &#8220;SUCK MY DICK, OSAMA!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bush Addresses the Joint Chiefs of Staff on the latest assault against Evil Muppet Bert. (Shown here in a photo with Osama bin Laden in 19&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-378","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-political-cannon-fodder"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Bush orders air strike on Sesame Street - WHUZZUP!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/bush-orders-air-strike-on-sesame-street\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bush orders air strike on Sesame Street - WHUZZUP!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Bush Addresses the Joint Chiefs of Staff on the latest assault against Evil Muppet Bert. 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