{"id":467,"date":"2002-09-15T20:46:36","date_gmt":"2002-09-15T23:46:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/?p=467"},"modified":"2002-09-15T20:46:36","modified_gmt":"2002-09-15T23:46:36","slug":"all-your-doodies-am-belonging-to-us","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/all-your-doodies-am-belonging-to-us\/","title":{"rendered":"All your doodies am belonging to us!"},"content":{"rendered":"

All right. It’s official.
\nThe War on Terrorism has gone too far.<\/p>\n

A passenger who spent a long time in an airplane toilet Wednesday prompted a security alert and full search of the Lufthansa plane, the airline said. <\/a>
\n(Link Via Dr. D<\/a>)<\/p>\n

So now being on the potty too long makes you a terrorist suspect?
\nWhat a crock of shit!<\/p>\n

Ok. I understand that a large percentage of the people reading this are female, and you might not get the GLOBAL SIGNIFICANCE of this event. (Or you don’t give a crap.)<\/p>\n

A man’s potty time is sacred.<\/p>\n

It is a time where he gets to sit down, read, and quietly become one with his thoughts. It is a time for somber reflection.<\/p>\n

It is our GOD GIVEN RIGHT!
\nIt’s in the, er, Constitution. I’m pretty sure of that.<\/p>\n

And now some paranoid fruitcakes are trying to take that away from us just for the sake of global security???? <\/p>\n

Take too long, open the door, to be greeted with an automatic weapon in your face???? Thrown against a wall, and searched (the article didn’t specify a “full cavity search”)????<\/p>\n

What’s next? Make us piss sitting down, so we’re less threatening if they barge in?<\/p>\n

I SAY THEE NAY!!!!!<\/p>\n

I draw the line at this latest attempts to , uhm, flush our… rights down… (well you get the idea.)<\/p>\n

People of the world need to relax.
\nNowhere, in our human history, has a terrorist successfully shit out a grenade, an AK-47, or a Laws Rocket Launcher.<\/p>\n

It is IMPOSSIBLE to poop out a weapon of MASS-DESTRUCTION.
\n(Well, that can be debated if they don’t close the door quick enough.)<\/p>\n

And if they could… the one handling the weapon would bring the word “Holy Martyr” to a whole new level.<\/p>\n

While I of course, have very stong feelings on this issue, I, of course will not lead a protest or anything (who the hell wants to be remembered for fighting for “Potty Rights”?)… so I have offered the following suggestion(s):<\/p>\n

New suggested procedure for Airlines and law enforcement officials:<\/b><\/p>\n

1. *knock on door*<\/b>
\n2. Flight Attendant:<\/b> “Is everything alright sir?”<\/p>\n

3. Possible responses:<\/b><\/p>\n