{"id":5730,"date":"2011-05-01T19:56:00","date_gmt":"2011-05-02T00:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/twitter-weekly-updates-for-2011-05-01\/"},"modified":"2011-05-08T20:30:10","modified_gmt":"2011-05-09T01:30:10","slug":"twitter-weekly-updates-for-2011-05-01","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/twitter-weekly-updates-for-2011-05-01\/","title":{"rendered":"Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-05-01"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Read more of my obnoxious statuses by following me on Twitter: <a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<ul class=\"aktt_tweet_digest\">\n<li>WOO HOO! I finally got my package of &#8220;Dehydrated Water&#8221; I ordered in the mail. Now what do I mix it with? <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/62590776797966336\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>NO FAT CHICKS ALLOWED! Don&#8217;t click this link. <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/lnk.ms\/NKWyv\">http:\/\/lnk.ms\/NKWyv<\/a> <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/62680459091513344\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Have the Warriors taught u nothing, folks? Finger pointers are usually the first ones I suspect in a &#8220;whodunit&#8221;. <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/youtu.be\/TiPqjFm_RL4\">http:\/\/youtu.be\/TiPqjFm_RL4<\/a> <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/62970965663023105\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Ever wanted to make your own &#8220;____ for Dummies&#8221; cover? <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/fordummiescovers.com\/share.php?id=175\">http:\/\/fordummiescovers.com\/share.php?id=175<\/a> <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63084214777692160\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Finally, I can be understood!  <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/twitpic.com\/4q3u54\">http:\/\/twitpic.com\/4q3u54<\/a> <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63215426485751809\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/twitvid.com\/BGVWB\">http:\/\/twitvid.com\/BGVWB<\/a> &#8211; @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/batiekear\">batiekear<\/a> Awwwww too cute! <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63309246229516288\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>*YAWN* I&#8217;m exhausted. I was up all night cramming for the big Drug Test today. <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63325253564239872\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<li>&#8230; and St. Peter says &#8220;What is this some kind of joke???&#8221; #<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23tweetthejoke\">tweetthejoke<\/a> <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/t.co\/sLU5zqr\">http:\/\/t.co\/sLU5zqr<\/a> <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63333579308015617\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>#<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23onlywhitepeople\">onlywhitepeople<\/a> press up reaaaaaaal close against the urinals when other people are nearby.for some strange reason. <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63476111849431040\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>#<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23onlywhitepeople\">onlywhitepeople<\/a> can have an epileptic seizure in the middle of the dance floor, and no one can tell the difference. <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63478017124614144\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Only God has the power to keep Himself from squishing you all like ants. Lord knows *I* wouldn&#8217;t be able to resist that kind of temptation. <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63488946474201088\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>All I need to do is flash my work ID and i can get into any military installation, Gov&#8217;t building, or gay bar <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/twitpic.com\/4qpifl\">http:\/\/twitpic.com\/4qpifl<\/a> <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63752126752489472\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Trying to think of how to tactfully tell my boss, Bill White, that &#8220;WHITE POWER&#8221; is probably not a good name 4 his new power supply company. <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63769934634819584\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>William&#8217;s gonna wind up like his dad and ain&#8217;t gonna be king either. That old bitch is gonna live forever. Watch. #<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23RoyalWedding\">RoyalWedding<\/a> <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63822846731878400\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>You can tell, #<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23shewantsthedick\">shewantsthedick<\/a> if she blinks every few seconds while talking to you. <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63842758921687041\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>YOU #<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23makesmesmile\">makesmesmile<\/a> &#8230; yeah, I&#8217;m talking to you. <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63845236631277568\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>When an aspiring musician presents themself on YouTube with &#8220;it comes from their heart&#8221;&#8230; you already know it&#8217;s gonna sound like shit. <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63855476638617600\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Today, I will follow all of my friends&#8217; #<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23FF\">FF<\/a> suggestions. They can thank you\/curse you out for it later. You&#8217;re welcome! <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/63967595182821376\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>#<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23FF\">FF<\/a> @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/crazedminx\">crazedminx<\/a> @bethycutiepie13 @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/batiekear\">batiekear<\/a> @vxen4urvp @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/thebig80sbitch\">thebig80sbitch<\/a> @juztjeff @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/nakednurse\">nakednurse<\/a> @rogueflorida @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/mirabaigrace\">mirabaigrace<\/a> (via @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/ffhelper\">ffhelper<\/a>) <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/64011108389888000\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>#<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23FF\">FF<\/a> @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/eb_white\">eb_white<\/a> @stonebryson @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/okkinderhook\">okkinderhook<\/a> @venomous1913 @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/vannabanana01\">vannabanana01<\/a> @loldonthate @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/jadedag\">jadedag<\/a> @reneehendricks @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/bethypage\">bethypage<\/a> (via @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/ffhelper\">ffhelper<\/a>) <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/64012034999721984\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>#<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23ff\">ff<\/a> @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/shoddytaw\">shoddytaw<\/a> @11_blaze_11 @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/matthew_67\">matthew_67<\/a> @taniaokumoto @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/lillianlaruan\">lillianlaruan<\/a> @astolencherry @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/donkey_sosa\">donkey_sosa<\/a> @jennsonthego @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/dlbarnesjr\">dlbarnesjr<\/a> (via @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/ffhelper\">ffhelper<\/a>) <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/64012711087980545\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>#<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23ff\">ff<\/a> @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/veecambodia\">veecambodia<\/a> @bethlayne @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/drksolest\">drksolest<\/a> @autumnlee88 @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/askasheville\">askasheville<\/a> @alldogscanlearn @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/newsandidol\">newsandidol<\/a> @grandmaondeck @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/ITamusedME\">ITamusedME<\/a> (via @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/ffhelper\">ffhelper<\/a>) <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/64013302103150595\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>#<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23ff\">ff<\/a> @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/KaleenaProject\">KaleenaProject<\/a> @WeDontLoveHoes @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/Gigs510\">Gigs510<\/a> @JuztJeff @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/morgan_murphy\">morgan_murphy<\/a> @LisaLampanelli @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/ReaIWizKhaIlifa\">ReaIWizKhaIlifa<\/a> @WebHostingFan  (via @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/ffhelper\">ffhelper<\/a>) <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/64013661806657537\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Using FollowFridayHelper app to send #<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23FollowFriday\">FollowFriday<\/a> #<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23ThankYou\">ThankYou<\/a> and other tweets based on my tweet history! <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/FollowFridayHelper.com\">http:\/\/FollowFridayHelper.com<\/a> <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/64014069174247424\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>#<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23FF\">FF<\/a> @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/drksolest\">drksolest<\/a> @AskAsheville @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/veecambodia\">veecambodia<\/a> @bethlayne @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/autumnlee88\">autumnlee88<\/a> @alldogscanlearn <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/64066012596801537\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>#<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23FF\">FF<\/a> @<a class=\"aktt_username\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/LisaLampanelli\">LisaLampanelli<\/a> w00T!!!! <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/64068371435634688\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>#<a class=\"aktt_hashtag\" href=\"http:\/\/search.twitter.com\/search?q=%23iwannameet\">iwannameet<\/a> the guy that saw something come out of a chicken&#8217;s butt and thought. &#8220;Mmmmmmm, breakfast!&#8221; <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/64165969295196160\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Seriously. I feel his pain. <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/lnk.ms\/MJDPm\">http:\/\/lnk.ms\/MJDPm<\/a> <a class=\"aktt_tweet_time\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\/statuses\/64168795224281088\">#<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"aktt_credit\">Powered by <a href=\"http:\/\/alexking.org\/projects\/wordpress\">Twitter Tools<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>05\/01 Tweets &#8211; Read more of my obnoxious statuses by following me on Twitter: http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[116],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5730","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-twitter-updates"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-05-01 - WHUZZUP!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/twitter-weekly-updates-for-2011-05-01\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-05-01 - WHUZZUP!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"05\/01 Tweets - Read more of my obnoxious statuses by following me on Twitter: http:\/\/twitter.com\/EricBrooksCom\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/twitter-weekly-updates-for-2011-05-01\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"WHUZZUP!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/EricBrooksDotComWeb\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"EricBrooksDotComWeb\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-05-02T00:56:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-05-09T01:30:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Eric Brooks\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@EricBrooksCom\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@EricBrooksCom\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Eric Brooks\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/twitter-weekly-updates-for-2011-05-01\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/twitter-weekly-updates-for-2011-05-01\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Eric Brooks\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3b162468e1f9814f6e9f61460db00a3a\"},\"headline\":\"Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-05-01\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-05-02T00:56:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2011-05-09T01:30:10+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/twitter-weekly-updates-for-2011-05-01\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":470,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Twitter Updates\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/twitter-weekly-updates-for-2011-05-01\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/twitter-weekly-updates-for-2011-05-01\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/twitter-weekly-updates-for-2011-05-01\\\/\",\"name\":\"Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-05-01 - 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I also code websites and promote people for a living. Still kind of a jerk, though. 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