{"id":614,"date":"2003-01-15T19:03:50","date_gmt":"2003-01-15T22:03:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/?p=614"},"modified":"2011-06-04T00:44:31","modified_gmt":"2011-06-04T05:44:31","slug":"because-i-cant-afford-zeldmans-consultation-fee","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/because-i-cant-afford-zeldmans-consultation-fee\/","title":{"rendered":"Because I can’t afford Zeldman’s consultation fee"},"content":{"rendered":"

Warning<\/span>:<\/strong> If you recently had a loved one croak on you… you need to SERIOUSLY skip this thread.<\/p>\n

While the Mrs. is reading and goofing on the local paper (you know, the one I work for???)… I hear her and her yenta friends howling like banshees downstairs over an ad:<\/p>\n

“SHARE MEMORIES.<\/strong>
\nVisit our online obituaries.”Share memories???? What the hell is THAT supposed to mean??!!??!
\n
\nYes I understand since we’ve signed up with Legacy.Com (oh yeah, gave us pens and a case of chicklets as gifts. CHICKLETS!!!! Why am I accepting gum FROM a funeral site??!!??!), they are trying to make money by getting families to purchase guestbooks for the, uhm, recently ceased & desisted.<\/p>\n

WHAT ROCKET SCIENTIST THERE CAME UP WITH “SHARE MEMORIES”????<\/p>\n

Normally, I’m your slogan guy, ok? I’m a regular Zeldman Jr. in that department.<\/p>\n

I came up with:
\n“Step INTO a new way of life”<\/strong>
\n “Scholastic Sports: Tomorrow’s sports stars today!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

I even came up with “Come get raped at beautiful Mt. Airy Lodge<\/strong>” (Which the owners didn’t want to use for some reason).<\/p>\n

But this??? I’m tapped.
\nCan one of you guys come up with a clever slogan for our online obituaries?
\nAnything has to be better than “Share memories.” Yeesh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Warning: If you recently had a loved one croak on you… you need to SERIOUSLY skip this thread.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,11,2,6,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-614","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-as-the-web-burns","category-basic-stupidity","category-old-stuff","category-poconos","category-tributes"],"yoast_head":"\nBecause I can't afford Zeldman's consultation fee - WHUZZUP!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/because-i-cant-afford-zeldmans-consultation-fee\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Because I can't afford Zeldman's consultation fee - 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