{"id":695,"date":"2003-05-15T14:25:53","date_gmt":"2003-05-15T17:25:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/?p=695"},"modified":"2011-06-04T10:43:55","modified_gmt":"2011-06-04T15:43:55","slug":"blonde-roots-campaign-for-peace-or-the-environment-or-something","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/blonde-roots-campaign-for-peace-or-the-environment-or-something\/","title":{"rendered":"Blonde Roots Campaign for peace, or the environment, or something"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I see a very disturbing trend, and I feel it needs to be addressed immediately.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve given this a lot of thought ever since I was fired an angry letter FROM <strong>Ida Slapter<\/strong>, of the activist GROUP <strong>Blondes Irritated by Members Bashing Others<\/strong> (B.I.M.B.O.), regarding a joke I cracked about blondes on this site.<\/p>\n<p>Yeah&#8230; ok. Redheads are evil, Blondes are dumb, et cederin. I get it. Stereotypes.<\/p>\n<p>I am a blond (or at least what&#8217;s left of my hair after 11 years of marriage to a &#8220;bottle redhead&#8221;). okay?<\/p>\n<p>The stereotype of blondes being stupid. I hate it! I hate it SO MUCH!<\/p>\n<p>Blonde Jokes offend the hell out of me. The punchlines are laced with so many big words&#8230; guess what, asshole?<\/p>\n<p>I DON&#8217;T GET IT!!! THEY&#8217;RE NOT FUNNY!!!<br \/>\n(I should not have to break out a thesaurus to find out what a &#8220;Breathalyzer&#8221; is, you insensitive prick!)<\/p>\n<p>Robyn has really brought this situation to a head, as she has kindly asked people to make more &#8220;Blonde-Friendly&#8221; buttons in their comments. I too have had the bitter experience of writing something, only to press a button that says &#8220;HIZAAT SO BIZZATCH&#8221;, only to see the window close, and my words gone for ever&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>What if one day, someone posts the cure for cancer on a medical blog and that happens??? WHO&#8217;S GONNA SUFFER THEN, YOU CLEVER-ASS BIZZATCH???<\/p>\n<p>Jewdez, also a blonde (but she went to collidge and speaks Latin so she&#8217;s REALLY smart), has taken this INTO consideration by putting very-detailed instructions inside parentheses (bracket-thingys)&#8230; I now have an increased 75% chance of getting a comment through on her site. The rest of you who continue to use hard-to-understand terms like &#8220;Hizzat so bizzatch&#8221;, &#8220;Expedite this profound soliloquy&#8221;, and &#8220;Submit&#8221;&#8230; suck my dick.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I propose the world employs more sensitivity to blondes by:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Changing &#8220;Dumb Blonde Jokes&#8221; back to &#8220;Dumb Pollock Jokes&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Speaking to blondes with the respect, dignity, and monosyllabic words that we truly deserve!<\/li>\n<li>Our house\/car keys should have our addresses and license plates engraved on them, in the event that unsavory thieves should steal them&#8230; now they can be returned them to the rightful owners.<\/li>\n<li>That shell you have to peel off of every damn M&amp;M you try to eat&#8230; does M&amp;M\/Mars think they&#8217;re fucking funny???<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin-left: 10px;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/images\/posts\/blondeparking.jpg\" border=\"0\" alt=\"This space reserved for BLONDES\" width=\"200\" height=\"150\" align=\"right\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I mean, is it really too much to ask for, that MAYBE you can give us blondes the same consideration that you do OTHER special-interest groups? No one complains about waiting an extra half hour as a passenger is assisted in a wheelchair-accessible bus? (HUH-LOOOO??? They&#8217;re ALREADY on WHEELS?!?!?! Put straps on the back bumpers, and charge them half-price! Like, DUH!)<\/p>\n<p>&#8230; or when they put braille on the buttons of drive-thru ATMs&#8230;<br \/>\n(Do I REALLY need to point out what I think is so WRONG and DISTURBING with that picture?)<\/p>\n<p>We can ignore all the dumb handicapped people of the world&#8230; but blondes are all around you. And we have access to curling irons and staplers too. You better take a minute to think about that.<\/p>\n<p>To SHOW I am VERY serious about this matter, I will throw in my full support to elect Dan Quayle as Pope in 2000! So there. How do you like them apples?<\/p>\n<p><strong>EricBrooks.Com\u00ae<\/strong> &#8211; Currently going back to school to become a veterinarian, &#8216;cuz he really loves children! *giggle*<\/p>\n<p>But redheads REALLY are evil. It&#8217;s true.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I see a very disturbing trend, and I feel it needs to be addressed immediately. I&apos;ve given this a lot of thought ever since I was fired an a&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,11,28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-695","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-as-the-web-burns","category-basic-stupidity","category-humor"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Blonde Roots Campaign for peace, or the environment, or something - WHUZZUP!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/blonde-roots-campaign-for-peace-or-the-environment-or-something\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Blonde Roots Campaign for peace, or the environment, or something - WHUZZUP!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I see a very disturbing trend, and I feel it needs to be addressed immediately. 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