{"id":706,"date":"2003-06-03T06:30:58","date_gmt":"2003-06-03T09:30:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/?p=706"},"modified":"2011-06-04T13:27:03","modified_gmt":"2011-06-04T18:27:03","slug":"onions-have-layersogres-have-layers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/onions-have-layersogres-have-layers\/","title":{"rendered":"Onions have Layers\/Ogres have Layers"},"content":{"rendered":"

LAYER ONE:<\/strong>
\nName: Eric a\/k\/a -=e=- a\/k\/a gOdOfMiScHiEf a\/k\/a Rik Havyk a\/k\/a LoKi a\/k\/a Astaroth a\/k\/a Vortex of Mischief
\n— Birth date: ) 08\/23\/65
\n— Birthplace: BROOKLYNZ IN DA HOUWZE!!!!
\n— Current Location: Poconos, PA
\n— Eye Color: Ice Blue
\n— Hair Color: What’s left is Mousy Blond
\n— Height: 5′ 8″
\n— Righty or Lefty: Writes left, does everything else right
\n— Zodiac Sign: Leo\/Virgo<\/p>\n

LAYER TWO:<\/strong>
\n— Your heritage: White Trash\/Devil. I dunno. I’m kinda mixed.
\n— The shoes you wore today: I dunno. Same black shoes I wore yesterday?
\n— Your weakness: HAH!!! Like I’d tell you.
\n— Your fears: Success
\n— Your perfect pizza: Must have meat – Sausage, Pepperoni, Meatballs or all of the above.
\n— Goal you’d like to achieve: To stay a nobody, betray as many people as I can, find a way to make money doing it<\/p>\n

LAYER THREE:<\/strong>
\n— Your most overused phrase on AIM: Damn, I didn’t sign off in time, and you caught me!
\n— Your first waking thoughts: Where’s my Vivarins?
\n— Your best physical feature: Well, I suppose if I ever get locked up, my Mick Jagger-like lips will make me quite popular
\n— Your most missed memory: Like I can remember. Is this a trick question?<\/p>\n

LAYER FOUR:<\/strong>
\n— Pepsi or Coke: Coke. Like duh, okay?
\n— McDonald’s or Burger King: I’d prefer a Wendy’s Triple, but I’ll settle for a double whopper w\/ cheese
\n— Single or GROUP dates: Group, but if my wife catches me, I’m DEAD!!!
\n— Adidas or Nike: The cheapest sneakers on the rack at Wal-Mart
\n— Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Coke
\n— Chocolate or vanilla: Butter Pecan
\n— Cappuccino or coffee: Coke<\/p>\n

LAYER FIVE:<\/strong>
\n— Smoke: Anything cheap & menthol
\n— Cuss: Moi?????
\n— Sing: hmmm… maybe.
\n— Take a shower everyday: It’s June ain’t it? Thanks for reminding me.
\n— Do you think you’ve been in love: Love is for suckers
\n— Want to go to college: One of my regrets that I never finished. But it’s too late now.
\n— Liked high school: Only as a senior
\n— Want to get married: AGAIN??? Are you chewing on drugs?
\n— Believe in yourself: Well, somebody has to.
\n— Get motion sickness: Nope
\n— Think you’re attractive: Nope
\n— Think you’re a health freak: hahahahahahaha!!!!!
\n— Get along with your parent(s): Well, I did.
\n— Like thunderstorms: BORING. Lightning storms ROCK though. That’s me btw, not my gay-ass half-brother Thor. Don’t listen to him.
\n— Play an instrument: I hope so<\/p>\n

LAYER SIX:<\/strong>
\nIn the past month…
\n— Drank alcohol: Ew. Barf…
\n— Smoked: Like, duh?
\n— Done a drug: Drugs are bad mmmmkay?
\n— Made Out: Like, with a girl or something? EEEEW!
\n— Gone on a date: See answer above
\n— Gone to the mall?: Huh-LOO? I’m an American. Is there any way to avoid a mall?
\n— Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: Probably
\n— Eaten sushi: No, but I’d KILL for sushi
\n— Been on stage: Karaoke count?
\n— Been dumped: A loser like me? Whaddya think?
\n— Gone skating: No
\n— Made homemade cookies: No
\n— Gone skinny dipping: No. (You’re welcome)
\n— Dyed your hair: No
\n— Stolen anything: Even if it was nailed down, bay-bee!
\n— You sound boring: Fuck you. Your questions suck.<\/p>\n

LAYER SEVEN<\/strong>
\nEver…
\n— Played a game that required removal of clothing: Who hasn’t?
\n— If so, was it mixed company: People yes. Farm animals no.
\n— Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Stoned out of my gourd. Heh. Still am. heh heh.
\n— Been caught “doing something”: Unfortunately. No comment where the witnesses are buried though. Don’t ask.
\n— Been called a tease: No. They either didn’t notice, or didn’t care.
\n— Gotten beaten up: Had my ass handed to me more times than I can count.
\n— Shoplifted: *snort* What do YOU think???
\n— Changed who you were to fit in: Of course. I become whoever I’m surrounded by.<\/p>\n

LAYER EIGHT:<\/strong>
\n— Age you hope to be married: AGAIN????
\n— Numbers and Names of Children: 7 Christina,Ashley,Erika,Samantha, Johnny, Puddy & 2-Tag
\n— Describe your Dream Wedding: I pull this stunt that would make Houdini jealous you see… then I call FROM Canada to ask everyone “how was it?”.
\n— How do you want to die: In a plane smacking INTO a mountain. Awesome view, fast & painless… it’s perfect.
\n— Where you want to go to college: Again with the college questions???
\n— What do you want to be when you grow up: Hah! Like that’ll ever happen!
\n— What country would you most like to visit: Great Britain would be cool. See where my family came FROM in Liverpool. Understand why they got the hell out of there.<\/p>\n

LAYER NINE:<\/strong>
\n— Number of drugs taken illegally: How many times, or how many kinds?
\n— Number of people I could trust with my life: 1 (Oh, did you mean besides me?)
\n— Number of CDs that I own: 4 or 5… I really need to get with the times
\n— Number of piercings: 1
\n— Number of tattoos: 0
\n— Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: My picture was in the NY Post twice, but I don’t think my name was ever in the paper
\n— Number of scars on my body: can’t count that high
\n— Number of things in my past that I regret: “Not banging this one… not banging that one…”, moving to the Poconos… the list is endless
\nStolen from: Nicole who stole it FROM Laurie who stole it FROM yo mamma, who stole it FROM meegan…. I stole it FROM Rha<\/p>\n

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~<\/p>\n

Classic line of the month<\/strong>: <\/p>\n

"Blowjobs, I like em, I’m proud of it and I suck in a good way."<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

What? There can be no comment after that line. I just can’t figure out how I missed it the first time, that’s all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

LAYER ONE:
\nName: Eric a\/k\/a -=e=- a\/k\/a gOdOfMiScHiEf a\/k\/a Rik Havyk a\/k\/a LoKi a\/k\/a Astaroth a\/k\/a Vortex of Mischief
\n— Birth date: ) 08…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,11,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-706","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-as-the-web-burns","category-basic-stupidity","category-e-show"],"yoast_head":"\nOnions have Layers\/Ogres have Layers - WHUZZUP!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/onions-have-layersogres-have-layers\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Onions have Layers\/Ogres have Layers - WHUZZUP!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"LAYER ONE: Name: Eric a\/k\/a -=e=- a\/k\/a gOdOfMiScHiEf a\/k\/a Rik Havyk a\/k\/a LoKi a\/k\/a Astaroth a\/k\/a Vortex of Mischief -- Birth date: ) 08...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/onions-have-layersogres-have-layers\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"WHUZZUP!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/EricBrooksDotComWeb\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2003-06-03T09:30:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-06-04T18:27:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Eric Brooks\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@EricBrooksCom\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@EricBrooksCom\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Eric Brooks\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/onions-have-layersogres-have-layers\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/onions-have-layersogres-have-layers\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Eric Brooks\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3addcc1e092289f4bb7dbdaf170c2123\"},\"headline\":\"Onions have Layers\\\/Ogres have Layers\",\"datePublished\":\"2003-06-03T09:30:58+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2011-06-04T18:27:03+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/onions-have-layersogres-have-layers\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":1005,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"As The Web Burns\",\"Basic Stupidity\",\"The -=e=- Show\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/onions-have-layersogres-have-layers\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ericbrooks.com\\\/whuzzup\\\/onions-have-layersogres-have-layers\\\/\",\"name\":\"Onions have Layers\\\/Ogres have Layers - 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