{"id":841,"date":"2004-06-13T00:51:03","date_gmt":"2004-06-13T03:51:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/?p=841"},"modified":"2011-06-05T14:20:34","modified_gmt":"2011-06-05T19:20:34","slug":"death-threats-from-the-tooth-fairy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/death-threats-from-the-tooth-fairy\/","title":{"rendered":"Death Threats FROM the Tooth Fairy"},"content":{"rendered":"

You know… I rocked as the Easter Bunny<\/a>.<\/p>\n

… in in my new role as the Tooth Fairy? I TOTALLY SUCK!!!!
\n(Though I must say, Pink is definitely my color, but I digress…)<\/p>\n

So here’s the deal.<\/strong>
\nLast night one of the Adorable Ones lost a molar. Couldn’t find the damn thing, so I left $2 (??!!?? wtf… inflation?) anyway.<\/p>\n

Naturally, I forget that the “Con Artist” gene is the dominant gene in my family tree… so the little extortionist has decided to pull a fast one on the tooth fairy and put it under her pillow again tonight for a quick profit.<\/p>\n

So there goes my last $2 until payday… AND I STILL CAN’T FIND THE DAMN TOOTH AGAIN!!!! Grrrr…. arrrrgh!!??!!<\/p>\n

I’m gonna be bankrupt by this little urchin soon.
\nWhat do I do… leave a ripped off teddy bear head at the foot of her bed to get the message that the Tooth Fairy is getting ticked off?<\/p>\n

At least she hasn’t figured out that corn fools the tooth fairy as well… my mom must have figured I had about 62 teeth in MY mouth.<\/p>\n

So… uhm… can anyone loan me $2 bucks for tomorrow night? (sigh).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You know… I rocked as the Easter Bunny… in in my new role as the Tooth Fairy? I TOTALLY SUCK!!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-841","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-e-show"],"yoast_head":"\nDeath Threats FROM the Tooth Fairy - WHUZZUP!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/death-threats-from-the-tooth-fairy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Death Threats FROM the Tooth Fairy - WHUZZUP!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You know... 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