{"id":882,"date":"2004-09-26T01:27:36","date_gmt":"2004-09-26T04:27:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/?p=882"},"modified":"2011-06-05T14:50:21","modified_gmt":"2011-06-05T19:50:21","slug":"jerry-fallwells-greatest-hits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ericbrooks.com\/whuzzup\/jerry-fallwells-greatest-hits\/","title":{"rendered":"Jerry Fallwell’s Greatest Hits"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m not sure how I bounced to this in my nightly surf: Jerry Fallwell Quotes<\/a>, and I think I’ve struck comedy gold.<\/p>\n

Kids… this is why your mommy doesn’t want you eating paint chips off the floor!<\/p>\n

“Grown men should not be HAVING sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them”<\/strong>
\nThat one threw me INTO an uncontrollable giggling fit for more reasons than I care to explain.<\/p>\n

How’s the wife, Jerry?
\n
\n“Homosexuality is Satan’s diabolical attack upon the family that will not only have a corrupting influence upon our next generation, but it will also bring down the wrath of God upon America.” <\/strong>
\nHow can we forget his “I told you so!” after 9\/11?<\/p>\n

“The whole (global warming) thing is created to destroy America’s free enterprise system and our economic stability” <\/strong>
\nReally? Do 99.992% of the world’s scientists know this? He should tell those socialist creeps they’re wrecking our economy with their anti-capitalist requests to cut down on pollution and hydrofluorocarbons!<\/p>\n

“God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve” <\/strong>
\n“probably what we deserve???” I challenge anyone to find me a quote anywhere near as treasonous and America-hating as this.<\/p>\n

“It appears that America’s anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men’s movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening”<\/strong>
\nThat’s right, bitch! Welcome to Little House on the Prairie!!! Back in that kitchen, barefoot and pregnant the way the good Lord intended. Voting? A career? Education? The right to decide what you can do with your bodies? Are you TRYING to get fire and brimstone rained down on us????<\/p>\n

Damn. Should have married that prostitute when I had the chance. Didn’t mean to piss God off by becoming totally whipped.<\/p>\n

“The idea that religion and politics don’t mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians FROM running their own country” <\/strong>
\nRiiight…. worked wonders with the Crusades, the Holocaust and The Spanish Inquisition, didn’t it? Did someone forget to clue in the Founding Fathers that we’re supposed to be a “Christian Nation<\/a>\u2122”?<\/p>\n

And if we’re talking any ol’ religion and politics mixing, why is the Middle East such a shithole?<\/p>\n

What a dangerous fuckwit.
\nSomewhere out there, a straitjacket is getting lonely.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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