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I'm not sure about much these days, but after just seeing an Angel with my own eyes… I am sure they are real. #

If you have so much free time that you post in all of the trending topics just to be noticed, then #YouDeserveToBeSingle (yes, I know.) #

#RelationshipTip101 – When I borrow money, and giggle when you ask "when am I getting it back?", it was probably just a tickle in my throat. #

#RelationshipTip101 – When I tell you I love you, and you hear a woman in the background. It's prolly just the maid in this motel. Honest! #

#RelationshipTip101 – If a MAN ever hurts you or cheats on you, ask yourself "Did I burn the roast again? Did I say 'no' to sex recently?" #

#RelationshipTip101 – It is NEVER a good idea to invite your wife and your girlfriend to the same awards ceremony. #

#RelationshipTip101 – If your best friend is prone to violence, making moves on his mom is probably a very bad idea. #

#RelationshipTip101 – Your BF's previous occupation was "Suicide Bomber", and now you fear he has "Commitment Issues"… O RLY? #

#RelationshipTip101 – If you catch your man kissing another girl on the couch… Wait. What were you doing out of the kitchen, anyway?!?!!? #

#RelationshipTip101 – Your BF's previous occupation was "Suicide Bomber", and now you realize he has "Commitment Issues"… O RLY? #

Today, I will eat moldy pizza, inhale cleaning fluids, wash down 3 brands of cough syrup with alcohol, & my tweets will be awesome! #Winning #

Continue reading “Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-04-24”

Today on Twitter, the trending topic was RelationshipTip101. With such sage advice like “Nevah cheat on yo girl!” and “Never start one, it will only break ur heart 🙁“, I felt compelled to depart with some of my wisdom to help these young, misguided kids.

… and not because I am a shameless attention whore looking to get noticed on Twitter. Nope. Not ME!

RelationshipTip101

• When I borrow money, and giggle when you ask “when am I getting it back?”, it was probably just a tickle in my throat.
  

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• When I tell you I love you, and you hear a woman in the background. It’s prolly just the maid in this motel. Honest!
  

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• If a MAN ever hurts you or cheats on you, ask yourself “Did I burn the roast again? Did I say ‘no’ to sex recently?”
  

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• It is NEVER a good idea to invite your wife and your girlfriend to the same awards ceremony.
  

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• If your best friend is prone to violence, making moves on his mom is probably a very bad idea.
  

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• If you catch your man kissing another girl on the couch… Wait. What were you doing out of the kitchen, anyway?!?!!?
  

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• Your BF’s previous occupation was “Suicide Bomber”, and you are now realizing he has “Commitment Issues”… O RLY?
  

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I hope this helped someone out there… 😀

Read more of my obnoxious statuses by following me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/EricBrooksCom

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I am keeping my FB page small and cozy to people I know personally, but kindly "like" my biz page where most of my anti… http://lnk.ms/Ll7Hw #

Don't mind me. Want to see if my tweets will go on my biz page. http://lnk.ms/Ll7Hw #

Hey I really like that map right to my house that's on my Facebook biz page. Come and get me freako's… what's the worst that can happen? #

I love how half the "Similar to You" people that show up on my Twitter page are former friends that hate my guts for no valid reason… #

This week's BFF Inspiration # 94 : Reflections by Diana Ross and the Supremes. http://lnk.ms/MrtKz #

You people posting in #agoodboyfriend need 2 lay off the Cosmo magazines, & just bend your girl over when she least expects it. Seriously. #

YAY! I finally got to see the wedding pics today! And no I wouldn't make them public. FB can delete me now… who cares? #

Continue reading “Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-04-17”

Read more of my obnoxious statuses by following me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/EricBrooksCom

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To all the Facebook Fallen: With love from Harlean Carpenter – http://poeticpinup.blogspot.com/2011/04/fun-for-whole-family.html #

????Twitter????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? #

I salute the fallen and Anon. #LongLivetheGreatStateofMANtana #

Ahhh I see now. I have no sympathy for anyone who hurts innocent people for their “causes”. #boycottFacebook #

#whycantyoujust stop making Helen Keller jokes? There is nothing funny about a girl who burns herself while answering the iron. #

So @gekoaz, @Tom_Carpenter, and @TerriDFZ walk into a bar… and the bar gets deleted. #LongLiveTheGreatStateofMANtana #

Wanna see Tweeting done right? –> @LisaLampanelli I love this woman! #

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? #

Continue reading “Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-04-10”

Read more of my obnoxious statuses by following me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/EricBrooksCom

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• PVT MSG:@batiekear @CrazedMinx @VannaBanana01 Hi. I just heard back from the clinic and got bad news. You may need to make an appointment. #
• They say one out of four neighbors is a potential rapist. I don’t see it. I just see three chicks on my block who are asking for it. #
• They say one out of four neighbors is a potential rapist. I don’t see it. I just see three chicks on my block who are asking for it. #
• http://meme.li/i/6716716?s=wt – Damn you people for getting me hooked on the MEME generator!!!! #
• http://meme.li/i/6716971?s=wt – I mean come on!!! Even i want to punch myself in the mouth for this one!!! #
• It appears my personal profile and my ‘Randi’ profile was deleted on Facebook. How many guesses do you think *I* need for who was behind it? #
• btw, this is Tweet number 666 for me. W00t!!!!!! #
• Q: How many dates do you go on a person befo… A: Depends on the sparks and chemistry.: http://yearbook.com/ask-me-anything/15j6db #

Continue reading “Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-04-03”

Read more of my obnoxious statuses by following me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/EricBrooksCom

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There are those who claim I am immature. To all my detractors I say… I know you are, but what am I? :p #

Just curious. Are there any paraplegics or amputees following me on Twitter? Quick show of hands, please. #

Talk about everything being hyped up… I mean 'Supermoon'? Maybe 'Okay' Moon, or 'Wow, that's kinda nice' Moon… but "Supermoon??? RLY? #

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No idea who put that fake of me on Friendburst, but that dump would be the LAST place you'd find me. http://www.friendburst.com/ericbrooks/ #

And now, for your Moment of Zen: The Art of Not Being Offended – http://www.lightworks.com/MonthlyAspectarian/2005/March/feature3.htm #

LANCASTER FORECAST: Cloudy, high of about 43°, with a chance of Jehovah's Witnesses showing up at your door. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! #

I favorited a YouTube video — Stewart Mac 'I Love You' http://youtu.be/nALhlDVSu24?a #

I subscribed to failblog's channel on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/user/failblog?feature=autoshare #

I subscribed to raepmykipz's channel on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/user/raepmykipz?feature=autoshare #

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I favorited a YouTube video — Sting – Demolition Man http://youtu.be/FYij_V9YhQs?a #

I liked a YouTube video — Histrionic Personality Disorder http://youtu.be/ocDQIS68guc?a #

I favorited a YouTube video — histrionic personality disorder http://youtu.be/8msOeHlOiTo?a #

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I subscribed to stonecrazy89's channel on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/user/stonecrazy89?feature=autoshare #

Wow… I just checked in on MySpace. I think they're closed during the week now. #

I liked a YouTube video — Who Lee Ah? http://youtu.be/hsKmOp8VNmY?a #

I subscribed to firstrala's channel on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/user/firstrala?feature=autoshare #

I subscribed to religiousantagonist's channel on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/user/religiousantagonist?feature=autoshare #

I favorited a YouTube video — Billy Ray Cyrus – She's Not Cryin' Anymore http://youtu.be/ROwUAT8oSIw?a #

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I liked a YouTube video — Pillow Pants Hits Em Up http://youtu.be/jhdiK-pi8jY?a #

Wandering around all day with the silliest grin on my face. 🙂 #

I subscribed to RaymondAmishcomic's channel on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/user/RaymondAmishcomic?feature=autoshare #

Please "like" my official EricBrooks.Com page on Facebook: http://lnk.ms/Kn66q #

Twitter test: Did I bust this thing on Facebook or what? #

Please "like" my official EricBrooks.Com page on Facebook: http://lnk.ms/Kn66q #

I subscribed to pandora6666's channel on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/user/pandora6666?feature=autoshare #

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