I wonder why we wait so long to realize how much someone means to us? Why does it always happen when it’s too late?

She’s gone now.
My main computer. A Gateway2000 P.C. with WinNT workstation.

With her archaic 5.0 software we broke all the rules and redesigned the work website… twice; helped topple the corrupt building industry; did live coverage of September 11th as it happened; made ads that turned the fledgling web department into a profitable asset, helping an ailing Dow Jones, and making the newspaper win 2nd place in the “Newspaper of The Year” awards by the Pennsylvania Newspaper association….

For the past two years, she sat there as a supportive friend through all my tragedies and triumphs. When I heard KayCee “died” and I bawled like a baby. She kept me company when I was stranded there on many nights. When the kids were far away, and called us several times a day on the 800 line, and we cried even harder. She delivered the email that sent legal firepower to bring a triumphant end to this war a few weeks ago….

She was there for me through all of it.

Every time my boss and I mentioned the new computers, something new went wrong with her… like the fury of a woman scorned, and couldn’t handle being replaced my a newer younger model after she gave so much to me.

She became almost psychotic with jealousy the past few days.

I thought I was seeing things with the shutdown screen when I logged off for the final time.
Then it was left for me in the in the network printer just before I pulled all the plugs…

Damn. I forgot she has 24 hour internet access. She must have read this on my site yesterday, and thought I was angry with her.

I never knew she felt this way…
How was I supposed to know?

We all have new “Dell” mousepads to go with our computers. I think I’ll keep the worn out old Gateway one, and take care of it for her.

I never even gave her a name.

I think this is my cue, and take some time off of the web, if that’s okay with you guys.
🙁