A new beginning…

Posted on by Eric Brooks
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Possible Resolutions:
Be nicer to people – HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
World Peace – Are you fucking kidding??? End a multi-billion dollar industry, throw millions out of work, and make our ailing economy worse??? What are you, a Commie Pinko, or something?
Finally come out of the closet – Whatchu talkin’ bout, Willis?
Lose Weight – I eat one meal a day, and I’m a fat bastard… exactly what do YOU recommend I cut out to lose weight, that doesn’t require effort? (Say “coke”, and I’ll break your fingers one by one.). So I lose weight to become a *SKINNY* miserable bastard that nobody likes? Give me a break. At least I have an excuse here.
Quit Smoking – Okay… this I can do. I keep this resolution every year.

The problem with people’s resolutions is that they make it an *indefinite* period of time. It’s unrealistic. This goes with habits, losing weight, behavior changes, etc.

Shoot low. You can never dissappoint yourself that way. :0)

The key? Only quit for a certain amount of time. Five minutes more every year. In about 1,500 years, I can safely assume I’ll not be smoking at all. That’s right, COLD TURKEY, BAY-BEE!!!

This year, it’s an hour. 60 minutes. I can to it.
I think I can. My pack is right in front of me.
Oh God it’s calling me…
Maybe if I can keep typing, I’ve got less than a half hour… I have NEVER broken a resolution.

*twitching*

S-so… what’s your resolution?


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31 thoughts on “A new beginning…”

  3. Aw thanks guys. Love ya too, Mollie.

    OMG… it feels like hours, the THE CLOCK HASN’T MOVED IN THE LAST 10 MINUTES!!!!!!!
    *Grabs hair, screams, runs in circles….*
    *thud.*

  4. Normally I don’t do resolutions because I cannot keep them, but this year I’ve made one. *To kick butt where I haven’t kicked butt before (Or not as often).

  6. Congrats, Eric … another year and another resolution! 🙂

    Here’s mine … sometime before the year is out, I’m going to figure out how to command the respect of my offspring without beating them up or doing other things that the law frowns upon.

    If you find yourself reading about me in the news (“Interview with crazed mom from behind bars”), you’ll know that I didn’t make it …

    *smooches*

  7. The threat of sending them to grandma’s for the summer usually works with mine. (Hell, *I* can’t survive an all nighter at my mother-in-laws.)

    Then there’s the milder alternative… boot camp.

  9. I’m thinking my resolution should be no more flame wars. Yeah. That’s it. No….*twitch*……more…….flame………..*cough*……………..wars.

    Help me. I’m asphixiating.

  10. Happy New Year, from one Pocono veteran to another.

    I don’t know how you’ve survived another year in that place, I really, really don’t.

    You’re a braver man than I.

  14. Happy New Year E!!!! Thanks for making last year wonderful, and for being there for me!!! {{{Hugs}}}

    Btw, as for the resolutions……. No one likes a skinny man! Eeewww!!! Men with a little meat on their bones look stronger, and well uh…. YUMMIER!!!! *lol*

    I am quitting smoking with you!! RIght after I finish this carton…… Oops. There are 3 cartons in the kitchen…. Okay, right after they are gone! ;o)

    I love you dude, waaaay too much!! :o)

  20. You know, Jennifer… they have seminars called “Stop Procrastinating Now!” I’ll probably attend them one of these days.

    Faith, how about making the resolution more realistic like “no more flame wars with UNWORTHY opponents”? Don’t you miss the good old days where you and I went to war, and the whole web tuned in? Webbie world? You, me, and Graham in a free-for-all Battle Royale? I miss those days. We were talking hundreds of hits instead of this piddly four or five hits from psychos who can dish it out but can’t take it…

    Last night, the ball dropped, I publicly apoligized to Hoopty, and a pack of attention trolls™ simply ceased to exist as far as I’m concerned. I feel good! I wanna take on REAL opponents this year, not these no-name nobodies!

  21. VASpider – You have NO IDEA what went down this year! (Plus I have links to places and facts that I think EVERY parent needs to know.) It got REALLY bad until a few attorneys got involved… and now the nightmare is finally over. We’ve got power & connections now…

    And well, *everybody* knows who we are at this point. :0)

    Maria: I love you MORE! so Nyah!!!!!

  22. I don’t have any resolution, why should I, after all I have a perfect body and a perfect soul ;o) Ok, I stopped smoking for a couple of hours, but that was only because I was sleeping.

  24. I’ve opted to not make a resolution because I never stick to them and that totally bums me out. So why even bother? LOL I’m just going to do my best this year and keep on living. 🙂

    Happy New Year!

  27. Happy New years!

    I dont have any resolutions this year. I would like to think that there is nothing in my life i would like to improve upon…*snicker* Anyways good luck!

  28. Oh Jeez! Don’t be so HARD on yourselves, guys.

    Nico, meet B4rb. B4rb, meet Nico.
    Why don’t you two crazy kids go off and make a “Master Race” somewhere. :0)

  30. i always make the same resolution: i will not forget that it is now the next year, while writing in my diary, writing a check, filling out a form, etc. i always break it, usually in january. the longer the year goes on the easier it is to get used to the fact that it’s next year now.

  31. I made resolutions…but they aren’t as interesting as my coke story (which came in a traumatic flashback upon reading your thoughts on losing weight). My college roommate started doing coke while we were living together. She was a genius, that girl. I mean, sure, we were living in college housing, and we’d both get booted if SHE was caught, and the school had distributed notices that they were doing random drug sweeps; it wasn’t going to happen in *our* room. At any rate, my whole point is that she thought coke was the greatest thing, because she could snort it and loose weight. I pointed out that she wouldn’t keep the weight off once she stopped. She gave me a look that clearly said my village was looking for me and said, “Well, I’ll just snort some more. I’ll do two week binges, then quit for a week. That should be okay.”

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