I was up all night cramming for the big Drug Test today.

WOO HOO! I finally got my package of “Dehydrated Water” I ordered in the mail.

Now what do I mix it with?

This weekend they will be hiding their own Easter eggs.

My doctor wants me to take something for it.

Kids… I have discovered a magic potion that makes men and women more attractive and friends funnier & interesting.

I call it ‘whiskey’.

They say one out of four neighbors is a potential rapist.

I don’t see it. I just see three chicks on my block who are asking for it. 😀

I don’t know how much he travels across the country, but I caught him at a comedy club in the Poconos a few years back… he’s HILARIOUS.

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“This clip has not been rated but for those of you who have been busting my balls about cursing, ‘YOU’LL HATE IT’ so, it’s at least, RATED R“

• Raymond the Amish Comic Website (yes, i know…)
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… uhm I forgot the rest of the joke.

Someone had the AUDACITY to call me a 'pretentious pr!ck' today. I almost choked on my latte.

Would you say she had a fourth sense?