The Chinese Finger Lock

My wife & I saw our new therapist today.

Yeah. I know what you’re thinking: “Eric, you’re the SANEST guy I ever met, wtf????”

I know. But it’s court ordered by Pike C&Y part of the whole “Family Plan” we had to sign (under duress, I might add…) in order to get the kids back over the summer. It also includes little diddys like “No more pets” and “no more Motels” (guess we have to sleep in the streets if a snowstorm strands us in Stroudsburg, or we go on vacation.). Carole & I had to seek counseling under this “Family Plan”. Not the kids, who are constantly having nightmares. Just us.

Unlike the other dickhead we had, whom I lovingly refer to as “Dr. Mind Control” (that guy could have put out a report to say “we’re fine”, at any time, and ended this bullshit, but instead he just wanted to keep the sessions going even after my EAP insurance ran out… just to keep getting paid.) …We like this one. We’ve even scheduled the kids (whom I think *need it*.) to see her.

She works for the same organization that was instrumental in raising 1/3 of the “ransom money” we needed to pay “Psycho landlord” (no eviction yet…btw) in July. They see eye to eye with us on a lot of what’s going on.

After trying to cram our saga in a 45–minute session, she offered this sage advice:

“Through total submission, you’ll achieve full control again.”

That may not make sense to you, but it’s the most brilliant fucking thing I’ve heard in a long time.
We have been fighting this part of the war all wrong.

This may come as a shock to you all… but in real life, I’m a smartass. Very sarcastic, and very rebellious.

No, Really.

And Carole is too. There is a constant “pissing match” as they rub one of us the wrong way…. deliberately. They pit us against each other, and all sorts of dirty tricks.

The agency only wants to dominate us, to wield full control over every aspect of our lives. And we always fight them tooth and nail every step of the way… thereby the need to “teach us a lesson”.

It’s like the “Chinese Finger Lock”. Instinctively we pull and resist… and their grip tightens.

She also said: “If you let them beat you, and they see they have the power over you… they *will* let you go.” This organization has had plenty of dealings with Pike C&Y. I believe her. As much as I’d love to crush them with a good lawyer… I know the price is too high to pay. It’s too bad, because I’m sure Lorimar Pictures would love to buy the movie rights… if we have one hell of an ending to it.

In real life, I’m also very charming and diplomatic (read: professional bullshit artist and two–faced.). I can pull this off. Let them break us… and we win. Makes sense in a “Zen” sort of way.

A Sensei always told me: “The battle is always won first in the mind.”
I can’t believe it took me this long to figure this out.

I looked up to see a beautiful blue sky today.
I haven’t been able to see in color since October.
It’s a brand new day.

Eric Brooks

Musician, Programmer, Graphic Designer, Evil Clown - A thorn in the Internet's side since 1997 with no intention of stopping any time soon.

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27 thoughts on “The Chinese Finger Lock

  1. Oh, honey – good for you for posting that while you’re getting the hits. And I just wanted to thank you for putting all of that effort into your Valentine Project – I think it’s a wonderful idea, especially for people who might be a little down about not having one of their own.

    You get MASSIVE *smoooches* for that one.

  2. wow –– a solution so simple & so obvious, it takes true genius to see it through all the mess. god i love it when that happens.

    huh. i’m just sitting here thinking, why did i never think of that? neither in conversing with you on your situation, nor back in the days when i was in a similar situation? i mean, it just never occurred to me, & now i’m sitting here thinking, damn, it was right in front of me all the time.

    wow. cool.

  3. I agree with Paige––you are absolutely wonderful. Happy Valentines to you and your family!!! Love the kids’ pages by the way––they are cuties like their mom and dad! :–)

  4. Eric you are now adorable and smoochable!
    Hey grrls – time for smooches all over Eric!
    Well, paige had a good idea, and you seem to need a bit.
    Besides, it’ll get you used to submmission. Heh.

  5. FUCK!!!
    No Eric not good… Eric Bad!!!
    Eric thought he can catch an hour nap last night and just woke up a half hour ago!!!!

    Now I got a house to clean & get kids out of here….

    This thing will be online later tonight… I AM SO SORRY GUYS!!!!

  6. I still don’t understand what’s going on, someone fuck up your live and you get punished for it!? I can’t see why no one do anything about this Psycho landlord, it’s almost unbelieveable that such people are allowed to go around untied and even wear shoes.

  7. Hey Eric! You will persevere, I know it. I’m thinking of you!

    Add a couple butt squeezes from me to go along with the smooch from Paige.

  8. It was those damn windows that MADE me go to the V–Project! It’s your own fault, you big lug!

    Now, get busy!

    (And Eric, the sentiments on all the cards will be valid whenever they’re delivered! Do mine last, sweetie. Hell, do mine over the weekend. It’ll be more like how I’d really do it!!!!!)

  9. hey, despite what everyone else says, I think you’re a pretty cool guy. And, since it’s valentine’s day and all, and purely platonically…….awww…..shit…

    (don’t get to used to getting kisses from me, ya friggin’ psycho)

  10. Yes, it’s so true.
    Through submission you will regain control . Total control..
    Happy Valentine’s Day to all the Brooks! Much love………

  11. Valentine’s Day??!!?? It’s more like "Bizarro Day". I had a phone message last night that there’s been a warrant for my arrest since March ’01 (thanks Davezilla), and Carole just got a job as a security guard in Pine Ridge.

    So Carole’s got a badge, and I just got out of court for a "bad check charge".

    …. aaaaanyone else find this a little weird??!!??

  12. Happy Valentine’s Day Eric!!! *hugs & kisses* It does sound bizarre but hey, today we celebrate our love for each other by trying to impress others…who has the biggest, umm….diamonds, most beautiful flowers….whatever… Still, I hope all my friends and family know I love ’em…everyday!

    and by the way, I did link to your project on my page…I didn’t know I could send to myself though, lol. There’s always next year…or next holiday. What’s coming up? President’s day? 😀

  13. Eric, i just read the whole "war" thingie. you and your poor family. by hook or by crook y’all stay all "meek and mild". do whatever it takes to make the bastards think they’ve won. then the Brooks Family has won and y’all can get the hell out of Dodge.

    note to self: don’t ever move to Pennsylvania.

  14. "we celebrate our love for each other by trying to impress others…"

    Ain’t it true??? My friend’s wife *demanded* a dozen roses delivered to her at work today… not out of love, but do her co–workers can see it.

    No offense, but women are nuts!

    Thanks for the kind words, Deborah… and while I’m at it, seeing that kd and I are living "parallel lives", I’m scratching "Ventura, CA" off my "to move to" list….

    Nice to meet you, Rahel. Are you off hiatus, yet?

  15. Eric, how am I supposed to send you naked pictures if I don’t have your e–mail address???!!! ummm, I mean, how am I supposed to send you a Valentine note. hehe 😉

  16. Not all of us are nuts.
    And some of us give mind blowing scalp massages in return for flowers.
    So few take me up on this offer, it’s quite sad…

    And *smoocha* right back atcha!

  17. Dunno what’s up Eric but we love you anyway!
    You’ll note that even tho you disabled comments on that next entry I’m sneaking in here and commenting anyway! Heh.

  18. hey dude, i bopped over in here ’cause the ‘ments were turned off elsewhere. hang on and let us know what we can do.

    (no kisses from me… but i offer a hug instead 🙂

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